Discussion Grieving

[Jisatsu]

It's been over a year, and people tell me that grief is supposed to get lighter with time, but it hasn't. If anything, it's heavier now. The world just kept moving while I stayed here, stuck in the same moment, replaying memories that don't age but still rot inside me. Everyone else has drifted away. The few friends I thought I could lean on slowly disappeared, like my grief was too much weight for them to carry. And now it's just me, alone with the ghosts.

I thought time would bring healing, but instead it's just stretched out the silence. There's no one left to call or message at 2 a.m. when the memories eat me alive. No one to sit beside me and say nothing, just to let me exist without drowning. Everyone is gone, and it feels like I don't even belong in the world anymore.

I still talk to the ones I lost, even if no one's listening. I whisper into the emptiness, but all I hear is the echo of my own voice. People keep telling me "you'll find new friends," or "they'd want you to move on," but those are just words. None of them fill the hole where my people used to be.

What terrifies me most is the thought that this is it...that I'll keep grieving forever, and no one will be there to see me through it. That my pain has outlived my connections. That I've outlived the ones who made me feel less alone.

 

[wine is fine but]

sadly grief never leaves

time does not heal any wounds at all

the only thing time does is it gives us an opportunity after a devasting point in our life to then make happy memories. from the point of devastating news, all we have is the devastation. there is no happy memories after that point in time. as time goes on, we have the opportunity to have some happy moments. thinking about having lost someone will continue to hurt us until we are also gone. the only saving grace is that as time goes on, we can have more things to take our mind off them, or at the very least, losing them. we can start thinking of the happy times with them, but that invariably leads our thoughts back to losing them

losing someone is not like a virus you can get over. it is like losing a part of your body that you hopefully learn to live without

hopefully, someday, you can limit some of the grief you feel; hopefully