Venting got sent to psyward this time around. mental health system sucks.

[afka]

I don't even know why I got sent. I wasn't suicidal at the moment or anything. For context, I got placed on a hold. I had run away from home after relapsing in SH after a year because my grandparents had upset me. I wanted to distance myself from the root of the problem and be alone, and I'm an adult, so I'm legally allowed to leave if I want, but my family is way too in my business and blew the situation out of proportion by calling the sheriff's. I already have super bad experience with the cops, so I knew I was screwed by the get-go. I was found by my mom eventually, and she helped calm me down. I was supposed to go to her house; my mood was stable, and everything was fine, but when I went back to my grandparents to grab a few things so I could stay with my mom for the night, the sheriffs were already there, so I was forced to talk with them. They looked at my arm and determined I was suicidal over a SH relapse that wasn't even deep enough to kill me. I stated I was NOT suicidal over 5 times, but they still determined I was and placed me on a hold and forced me to get checked out by medics. I was then taken into the ER and waited for hours to be evaluated by a mental health clinician. I explained my situation, and he STILL determined I was suicidal, even though I explained that it was a simple relapse in SH, NOT an attempt, and that death wasn't even on my mind. I was forced to stay in the ER until they found a psy ward that would accept me. I explained over and over again that it was a relapse and that I did NOT need to be sent to one. Eventually they found one, and I was transferred over there. I thought I would only be staying for the minimum 72 hours....WRONG. They determined I was unfit and still 'suicidal' because I was displaying behaviors in my personality I had for ages prior to this happening, such as isolation and depression. They also wanted to keep me longer because of some childhood trauma that was supposedly 'affecting' me? (It isn't, and I don't care about it.) THANKFULLY, they were ruling out a court hearing and had a patients advocate, and someone finally listened to me when I explained that it was a RELAPSE, not an ATTEMPT. I got out that same day, but I keep looking back at it; they unnecessarily escalated everything. That time I actually did try killing myself and was even in restraints; they sent me home after 11 hours no ward needed? I hate the cops. I hate the mental health system. They claim to want to help me but always just cause me unnecessary trauma. The cherry on top to all of this was the ambulance bill I got in the mail from being forced against my will to go in, even though I stated multiple times I did NOT need to be checked out. Fuck cops. Fuck the system.

 

[caramelpudding]

Sorry that you have to go through that. Mental health systems really sucks for me too, they would gaslight like we are the problem and sometimes cause more harm than good, often times they would just told me that it would be my fault if anything goes wrong but never questioned malpractice in their system.