Got invited to a wedding... do I accept the invitation when I'm planning to CTB?

[FallFadesIntoWinter]

I found out this weekend that my good friend from childhood is getting married. It's his 2nd marriage, his first one was when he was younger, very small and private, none of us (his good friends) were invited too. So I feel like this is kinda his redo for the people he couldn't bring for the first wedding. I'm happy for him too, he deserves to be happy.

Problem is, the wedding is scheduled for Valentine's Day 2023 and, well, I may very well be gone by then. Of course, I haven't told him or anyone else of my intentions either but he's really excited to have me there (along with the rest of our gang from the past). When he told me he was getting married and invited me, my heart immediately sank. I knew right then there was a good possibility I might not be around for it and I really don't want my passing to affect him or his wedding in any way.

The wedding is in 4 months and, honestly, I don't know if I can hold on for that long. Do I accept the invitation now or do I delay in sending back my confirmation until, well, I go through with what I need to do (CTB)?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I too was invited to a wedding next spring but I can't make it that long. Though it does seem that my presence there is less important than yours at his. There is always going to be an occasion or anniversary or birthday or event that you could put off CTB for such that you'll never end up doing it. There's no way to make death completely "convenient".

I don't want to tell you what you " should" do. 4 months isn't that long, especially when you have forever to be dead.

 

[its-about-time]

Live as if you're going to continue living. If you die prior to things you've planned, then so be it. But don't live as if you're already dead. I think your friend would be happier to receive the RSVP than to not, in the event that you are no longer around by then.

 

[aladdin]

Live like normal. It would be rude to decline the invitation, and you don't have to end up attending the wedding. I won't encourage you, but you can CTB whenever.

 

[Someone123]

I found out this weekend that my good friend from childhood is getting married. It's his 2nd marriage, his first one was when he was younger, very small and private, none of us (his good friends) were invited too. So I feel like this is kinda his redo for the people he couldn't bring for the first wedding. I'm happy for him too, he deserves to be happy.

Problem is, the wedding is scheduled for Valentine's Day 2023 and, well, I may very well be gone by then. Of course, I haven't told him or anyone else of my intentions either but he's really excited to have me there (along with the rest of our gang from the past). When he told me he was getting married and invited me, my heart immediately sank. I knew right then there was a good possibility I might not be around for it and I really don't want my passing to affect him or his wedding in any way.

The wedding is in 4 months and, honestly, I don't know if I can hold on for that long. Do I accept the invitation now or do I delay in sending back my confirmation until, well, I go through with what I need to do (CTB)?

I would accept it- many people postpone ctb even when they don't think they will- you want to be able to go if you are still around. If you do ctb peopel will understand that you were in pain. I just think that declining this invitation would cause more issues than accepting it.

 

[Jadzia]

I would accept it

 

[PurpleMonkey]

It would be wise to present yourself as you would if you weren't planning to CTB. So yes, accept the invitation; whether or not you actually go is irrelevant.

 

[BillyBob]

Accept it and act as though it is just a normal day.

From your message you are still unsure if you are going to CTB by then anyway so there is nothing lost.
If you are around by the wedding then you will not feel shit because you declined it but if you CTB before they wedding then you will still be remembered by the guys and maybe they will understand.

 

[marcy2022]

Accept if you want to or don't. For a moment lets remove ctb from the equation or consider it as something else which makes unable to attend the event and ask yourself do you want to accept the invitation? Whether you make it or not, be it for ctb or other reasons is not relevant cuz sometimes life happens and things we thought we would do, we don't get to. It may not be a nice feeling but it is what it is and there's nothing wrong with it. As for ctb, well if it happens before the event and if you're okay with it, so be it. Just my opinion.
I try not to keep anything on hold cuz of ctb, I do yoga, do most of the things I used to do. I'm still fixing last few details and soon, when it happens, it'll happen. Sometimes people asks something like, lets do this someday and mostly I respond to it as yup lets do that someday or maybe. If I get to do or join whatever it is, why not or maybe I don't. Even without ctb same thing could've happened, there's nothing wrong with that.

 

[FuneralCry]

That does sound like a difficult situation to be in, because it must be hard to deal with wishing to leave this world yet feeling as though you are being held back. But I believe that only you can decide what is best, it's a personal decision what you should do and when you should ctb. Of course nobody is obligated to continue enduring this life as after all we never asked to be here in the first place.

 

[Ligottian]

You have the perfect right to go or not go, regardless of your ctb intentions. I hate enforced socialization.