My grandma is dying. It might be her last Christmas with the family. My mom asked me whether I want to go to the family Christmas party.
Tbh I don't want to. I hate my family completely. My mom and grandma blame me for the abuse I had to experience with my former therapist. I won't accept that humiliation. Even if its her last Christmas. Even if this is a rough statement. Maybe I could not act like everything was fine in this situation. And then everyone would blame me for ruining grandma's last Christmas. Like my family blamed me for the death of my grandfather.
My mom abused me as child and teenager. And my family defended her. I simply don't want to join my family. In the last years I always cried after spending 2-3 hours with my family at Christmas.
I would probably meet the Israeli IDF soldiers in my family. My friend joked around I should join the family Christmas party while wearing a keffiyeh.
Tbh I don't want to. I hate my family completely. My mom and grandma blame me for the abuse I had to experience with my former therapist. I won't accept that humiliation. Even if its her last Christmas. Even if this is a rough statement. Maybe I could not act like everything was fine in this situation. And then everyone would blame me for ruining grandma's last Christmas. Like my family blamed me for the death of my grandfather.
My mom abused me as child and teenager. And my family defended her. I simply don't want to join my family. In the last years I always cried after spending 2-3 hours with my family at Christmas.
I would probably meet the Israeli IDF soldiers in my family. My friend joked around I should join the family Christmas party while wearing a keffiyeh.
