Got discharged today: ODd as soon as I got home

[Cockney_Rebel]

I have a Stanley Blade up my arse.

Thinking of cutting my wrists once I feel a bit better.

I don't know why I keep needing to do this to myself.

I just want to die already.


If anyone can send me a loving message, it would be highly appreciated right now.

Believe it or not, I actually love you all x.

 

[lost_soul83]

My thoughts are with you. I truly hope you find the peace you are so desperately seeking, whether that be in life or death.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

My thoughts are with you. I truly hope you find the peace you are so desperately seeking, whether that be in life or death.

Thank you x.

 

[Beachedwhale]

I hope you can recover mate x

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I hope you can recover mate x

Appreciate the response.

However, is recovery living a life of hell, or fading out? Be that peacefully, or violently?

Know what I mean? x

 

[Beachedwhale]

Appreciate the response.

However, is recovery living a life of hell, or fading out? Be that peacefully, or violently?

Know what I mean? x

I understand. I myself reject a life of pain. There is either recovery or death.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

I'm sorry you're in such unbearable pain…..
I hope you'll get better soon!!!!

 

[Largeletters]

I'm sorry you are going through such emotional turmoil. Sending love and good vibes your way.

 

[motel rooms]

Thinking of cutting my wrists once I feel a bit better.

I don't know why I keep needing to do this to myself.

I just want to die already.

I know you want to die, but cutting your wrists won't kill you...

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I know you want to die, but cutting your wrists won't kill you...

I think it's more of letting the world (this world: there are others) know how I'm feeling.

I see it almost as a tribal tattoo.

I hope that makes sense?

 

[motel rooms]

I think it's more of letting the world (this world: there are others) know how I'm feeling.

I see it almost as a tribal tattoo.

I hope that makes sense?

It makes sense to me & many other people on this forum, but it doesn't make sense to normies...

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

It makes sense to me & many other people on this forum, but it doesn't make sense to normies...

That's the juxtaposition.

I believe we are the normies.

What "normal" person would endure decades of turmoil, of pain, of despair, when they can get the bollocks together to CTB?

Everything is about perspective, my friend.

 

[nolongerhuman]

Sending all the good vibes that I can. I'm sorry you're feeling this badly.

 

[nopointofliving]

Hey friend,
I was following up with your posts for while. I can feel the pain you go through. Life is near easy and being alive is such an exhausting task but you were strong enough to pass through the darkest times. Hope you get the love and peace you want. You deserve no pain, and I wish you all the best. Hugs and much love.

 

[ClairyFairy]

Hey rebel I'm sorry you're stuck on a ward. Is that trunchbull at the end especially for you? You need to take care if yourself. Come on admit to them about the stanley knife. You're really great and I bet those doctors and nurses love you already. I bet the drink lady even let's you have a hot chocolate off her trolly you're so great ;)
I hope you can sleep with what I imagine is a beep free zone looking at those fine specimens around you. To infinity and beyond my friend x

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

Hey rebel I'm sorry you're stuck on a ward. Is that trunchbull at the end especially for you? You need to take care if yourself. Come on admit to them about the stanley knife. You're really great and I bet those doctors and nurses love you already. I bet the drink lady even let's you have a hot chocolate off her trolly you're so great ;)
I hope you can sleep with what I imagine is a beep free zone looking at those fine specimens around you. To infinity and beyond my friend x

How bizarre … I had a hot chocolate for breakfast!

Wishing you well, my friend.

Hey friend,
I was following up with your posts for while. I can feel the pain you go through. Life is near easy and being alive is such an exhausting task but you were strong enough to pass through the darkest times. Hope you get the love and peace you want. You deserve no pain, and I wish you all the best. Hugs and much love.

Thank you for your kind words.

You're always there, and I respect you for that.

Felt as sick as a dog last night, but I'm now on the third bag of NAC (paracetamol antidote) and it's not so bad, now.

Look after yourself, buddy.

 

[nopointofliving]

It shall pass my friend,...I hope you get better soon... I genuinely care about you ..I'm always here if u need to talk.. much love

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

It shall pass my friend,...I hope you get better soon... I genuinely care about you ..I'm always here if u need to talk.. much love

Thank you, my friend.

I'm also here for you too, should you ever feel like PMing me.

 

[Hattywacky]

Not trying to be a dick but I do hope you had permission to take that photo.

seems like you are U.K.

Use of mobile devices by patients in hospitals

NHS Transformation Directorate - transformation to improve health and care for everyone

www.nhsx.nhs.uk

Really not cool to breach somebody's privacy, if you haven't asked.
I hope you aren't in pain with that knife man.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be a really hard situation to be in. This life really can be exhausting. I wish you well.

 

[UterEntonaur]

Thank you x.
View attachment 70153

It's so weird cos that looks like my local hospital (even down to the boxes on the wall that used to have the TV/phone screens hanging from it) but I guess all hospitals look the same....

Hang in there friend - hopefully you'll be out of there soon

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

It's so weird cos that looks like my local hospital (even down to the boxes on the wall that used to have the TV/phone screens hanging from it) but I guess all hospitals look the same....

Hang in there friend - hopefully you'll be out of there soon

It's QE, in Woolwich.

I've seen the psych lady a couple of times, now. She's waiting to hear from her senior.

I feel quite a bit vulnerable now, as I just handed over the Stanley blade. That was my bargaining tool, should they try to metaphorically back me into a corner.

They appear to be quite worried about me, so I don't know what they will suggest going forward.

Thank you for your kind words, and I'll update as things develop.

 

[return2dreamland]

truly wishing the best for you. hoping your recovery will be swift. ss got your back, friend <3

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

truly wishing the best for you. hoping your recovery will be swift. ss got your back, friend <3

Thank you, my friend.

Just saw the lead psych and they're calling the AMHPs in. They're going for another section.

I bet the AMHPs themselves will be stunned to see me again, as they only sectioned me just over a week ago & the ward discharged me!

Hopefully the AMHPs will see for themselves how their own attempts to help me are being thwarted by the failings of the wards.

Thank you for your kind words, and wishes.

Look after you x.

 

[Alec]

I love you forever!!

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I love you forever!!

Love you more .

 

[TJuk]

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. How are you doing now? And what's the amhp saying?

Wish you weren't suffering

 

[I'm scared]

Sorry you feel such pain.
Ever listened to the Cockney Rejects?
I am rubbish at posting stuff but wish you well

 

[Pookie]

I think it's more of letting the world (this world: there are others) know how I'm feeling.

I see it almost as a tribal tattoo.

I hope that makes sense?

Then it's more a form of self-harm/cry for help. Sorry that you're in such a bad place. We'll be thinking of you.

But if you cut your wrists you're just going to have a longer stay in hospital. I don't know about you, but I hate hospitals, they're boring and they're depressing.

Is this what you really want?

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. How are you doing now? And what's the amhp saying?

Wish you weren't suffering

Another Section 2!

Thank you for your kind words.

Sorry you feel such pain.
Ever listened to the Cockney Rejects?
I am rubbish at posting stuff but wish you well

You post just fine, bubba.

Is the Cockney Rejects a podcast?

Then it's more a form of self-harm/cry for help. Sorry that you're in such a bad place. We'll be thinking of you.

But if you cut your wrists you're just going to have a longer stay in hospital. I don't know about you, but I hate hospitals, they're boring and they're depressing.

Is this what you really want?

I gave them the blade, Pookie.

I used to be a lifeguard, so am extremely clued up re all of the arteries.

I'd have severed straight through one in one or two hacks.

It would have been gory, but it certainly would have got the point across.

I have more new ones at home, anyway.