Decayed
Member
- Oct 16, 2023
- 46
i've been clinging to a fake future i didn't even believe in i've been making steps forward only to feel the same if not worse and him breaking up with me proves that nothing matters when you are already dead inside.
i don't know why i even bothered making any effort to move forward into a life i knew i couldn't be happy in but he made me happy and i thought that was enough, he said it was because we were making each other worse but i can't help but believe i was the only one making someone worse. i poison all my relationships and am always left with nothing i don't even know why i tried in the beginning when it was always going to end like this.
im going to go off my meds (venlafaxine, aripiprazole, lamotrigine, dexamphetamine) and try to overdose on them i believe a weeks worth should be enough so that's the date i'll set.
i don't know why i even bothered making any effort to move forward into a life i knew i couldn't be happy in but he made me happy and i thought that was enough, he said it was because we were making each other worse but i can't help but believe i was the only one making someone worse. i poison all my relationships and am always left with nothing i don't even know why i tried in the beginning when it was always going to end like this.
im going to go off my meds (venlafaxine, aripiprazole, lamotrigine, dexamphetamine) and try to overdose on them i believe a weeks worth should be enough so that's the date i'll set.