Goodbye

[woxihuanni]

I wish you a speedy recovery. Don't feel the need to leave! I'd suggest taking down the picture, you don't want to be identified.

 

[StuFin]

Before anyone accuses me of getting at Glitch - which I'm NOT, I said all the way through this she should call for help - the 7 P's come into play here for ANYONE thinking about ctb:

Proper Planning and Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

What I mean by that is that IF you have decided to do it you need to MAKE SURE you've got it ALL planned out, the weights, the process, the fasting, the paracetemol/ibuprofen / nitrogen tank / whatever you're doing - you NEED to MAKE SURE you've covered ALL the bases in the RIGHT way and that you're doing it with a CLEAR head.

I think it's seen time and time again - a spur of the moment attempt ultimately ends in failure and more problems that will make you feel even worse.

Again I'm so glad Glitch is okay and recovering, it seemd right from the off that she was acting in haste, which usually means you'll repent at leisure.

I hope you make a full recovery and feel better Glitch. For everyone else, take this as a lesson in not making a snap decision.

Please.

 

[suicidal-raven]

Please be careful! As others have said it's okay to change your mind and if you don't I hope you can find tranquility.

Edit: I didn't see your comment about it not working. I hope you're not in pain and I wish you a speedy recovery.

 

[Spitfire]

I hope everyone takes good care of you. I can not imagine the emotions you feel though?

I am glad to you are still here! It is okay...

 

[Broken Chimera]

I'm glad that you're OK. Like others have said, you don't have to leave if you don't want to. We're here for you.

 

[BLUE1970]

I remember my last failed attempt, it was horrendous, I felt ashamed and really, really angry.....but these really are feelings that will pass.

 

[rt1989526]

I wonder what went wrong here.

Feel better OP

 

[opiatedreamz]

we're all here for you hun, no need to be embarrassed
i'm sure many of those here have been through similar...
all my love, i hope you're doing okay right now

 

[Meditation guide]

I'm glad you are ok. If it's not too difficult I have some questions which you can ignore if you want to.

Did you ever lose consciousness?

Were you able to move, walk, stand after you drank it?

How bad was your pain? you mentioned your stomach hurt.

Do you know if you would have died if not brought to the hospital?

Had you fasted, gone without food before you took the SN?

 

[One day too late]

Hope you feel better soon.

 

[SpinningSong]

I'm glad you are ok. If it's not too difficult I have some questions which you can ignore if you want to.

Did you ever lose consciousness?

Were you able to move, walk, stand after you drank it?

How bad was your pain? you mentioned your stomach hurt.

Do you know if you would have died if not brought to the hospital?

Had you fasted, gone without food before you took the SN?

It seems like you're deeply invested in researching the methods, or st least SN @Meditation guide , please share your wisdom with me when you find something of importance :) Cuz I have some SN on the way.. and I would like to have everything prepared perfectly cause I have to compensate for the SI and my thoughts. Greetings!

 

[Dizzy_Dreams]

I really hope you're okay glitch girl....
Does falling the stans guide really make things easier?

 

[SpinningSong]

Please, plan things carefully so that you don't suffer permanent brain damage or something like that.
Anyway, hope everything goes OK and you can find peace soon!

So you can get it with SN?

 

[Meditation guide]

It seems like you're deeply invested in researching the methods,

I keep hoping to be encouraged to use SN but it's terrifying to me. I want to know what could go wrong.
And why it happens. We have this chance on this forum to extend what is known about this method and I'm hoping to make use of this opportunity for my own decision on what to do.

If there were never failures I wouldn't keep asking questions. I hope to find some reasons why it fails sometimes if possible. I think it's important to find out as much as we can about it.

 

[SpinningSong]

I think it's important to find out as much as we can about it.

Same. I'm super cautious about everything, I always buy a bus ticket even its nightime and I know no one's gonna check.. And since SN is not a 100% sure, I will have to compromise. But have you heard/read about someone becoming a vegetable after sn attempt?

I'm also doing my research in the afterlife, yet that is even more difficult.. Yet it will always remain a leap of faith.

 

[Deleted member 22650]

after seeing this im tempted to not do it in my appart in case my neighbor comes by, might drive away in the wood or something

 

[Meditation guide]

But have you heard/read about someone becoming a vegetable after sn attempt?

No but if they are a vegetable they won't be able to let us know.

So far if they don't die they all go to the hospital but there must be some who don't die yet live without going to the hospital. There is no way to know what happens in that case.

I don't want to die from covid and that might happen if I go to a hospital. That's not safe to do in this pandemic. I can see why people use guns.

 

[One day too late]

No but if they are a vegetable they won't be able to let us know.

So far if they don't die they all go to the hospital but there must be some who don't die yet live without going to the hospital. There is no way to know what happens in that case.

I don't want to die from covid and that might happen if I go to a hospital. That's not safe to do in this pandemic. I can see why people use guns.

Idk covid seems like a sure thing tho. I won't mind dying from it.

 

[Silvermorning]

I'm glad that you're all right. I'm sorry for all the pain you must be enduring, hopefully , something good might come up of this ordeal, in the meantime we are here to support you, no matter what. Pm open if you need anything or just simply vent.

Lots of love.

 

[Meditation guide]

Idk covid seems like a sure thing tho. I won't mind dying from it.

You die frantically fighting to breathe which is sheer torture, I have been there and know how bad it is. Not from covid.
You also live but with kidney failure and brain damage and lung damage. No, not how you want to go.

 

[Quinlor]

When used to drink microdoses of SN (5g) I always felt like vomiting. Now, imagine 45 grams!

 

[rt1989526]

When used to drink microdoses of SN (5g) I always felt like vomiting. Now, imagine 45 grams!

You ingested 5 grams of SN?

 

[Quinlor]

You ingested 5 grams of SN?

many times, like 20 times i think, almost every night ...
The next day I woke up alive, unfortunately

 

[rt1989526]

many times, like 20 times i think, almost every night ...
The next day I woke up alive, unfortunately

Goddam it I need this method to work. I hate reading about failures

Why do you think it didn't work for you? Why didn't you follow the guides?

 

[Meditation guide]

Goddam it I need this method to work. I hate reading about failures

Yup. I want reasons for failures. Just when I'm starting to be convinced it's ok to use someone fails on it.

many times, like 20 times i think, almost every night ...
The next day I woke up alive, unfortunately

People's bodies can counteract small amounts. Why were you doing it this way? Did you get any affects from it at all aside from vomiting?

The key is to overwhelm the body's ability to neutralize it.
One man took 113 grams of it yet got to the hospital alive! He eventually died, but imagine taking that much and staying alive long enough to get to the hospital!

 

[Quinlor]

Goddam it I need this method to work. I hate reading about failures

Why do you think it didn't work for you? Why didn't you follow the guides?

Well I my case I did on purpose I didn't want to die.

 

[rt1989526]

Well I my case I did on purpose I didn't want to die.

I don't understand.

 

[glitchgirl]

Sorry for not replying to everyone's message. My oxygen levels are still low so I'm being emitted for a few days than I'll be out, sadly I'm fine. My mum tried to get me sectioned again but luckily I am just going to get my medication reviewed after I'm discharged.
I'm very hypersensitive because i have Aspergers, which is why a little bit of discomfort for others is immense for me.
the headaches was fine,
The taste and trying to retake after I threw up was impossible,
But the hardest symptoms for me was the pounding heartbeat, and the sweaty on fire sensation I experienced. Even with a fan right up to my face made no difference, there was no way I could listen to my last songs as I dreamt off into unconsciousness.
The breathing was fine, It did start to become very shallow especially when I was in the ambulance, but I didn't feel like I was suffocating. Just dizzy and sound muffling
I've decided to go back to my original method partial/full hanging, but I will not be making another goodbye thread. I'm going to close my account soon, and catch the next bus, I can't promise it won't be impulsively, but I'm going to try take support from the NHS again, and if it doesn't work, I'm the shy, short girl with a big afro tapping on the cloud seat next to me waiting for you to sit down, only if you choose to of course. I wish the best for you all, even though I didn't speak much in the threads. Please learn from my mistakes because I never do.

 

[Quinlor]

It's like a self immolation, man. Don't worry about me.

 

[glitchgirl]

I'm glad you are ok. If it's not too difficult I have some questions which you can ignore if you want to.

Did you ever lose consciousness?

Were you able to move, walk, stand after you drank it?

How bad was your pain? you mentioned your stomach hurt.

Do you know if you would have died if not brought to the hospital?

Had you fasted, gone without food before you took the SN?

Q.1
No because I vomited too soon, and couldn't get another dose down in time before effects started.
Q.2
About 20 or so minutes I couldn't sit up at all, because my temperature was rising and the dizziness in my legs came in. Then the urge to be sick.
Q.3
Becuase of my sensitivity it was definitely a 7. It wasn't unbearable but I couldn't take my mind off of it and rest even with my teddies. It's like period pain but more upwards
Q.4
Yes there was a high chance, especially since none of the responders and most of the doctors were batheld about what even SN was. It's taken over two hours for my oxygen levels to be out of danger zone . (But not severe enough that I was in the icu)
Q.5
Yes because of my eating disorder I frequently empty my stomach contents and tend to only eat some small snacks and milkshake before I sleep. So I am used to fasting but I don't think of it as that. It's just me being unhealthy af. Also don't try to mask the aftertaste with sweets etc, since I had no emetos, It came rigjt back up and the taste was worse.
i hoped this helps, but sadly I didn't get to pass out. Too traumatic for me.