Goodbye

[lostintheloop]

I know this isn't an airport don't need to announce my departure etc.
But just wanted to say thank you to the many people who were supportive here including a special few who really went out of their way with kindness and understanding, and checked in on me a lot. I hope you know who you are. I'm amazed by the compassion from people suffering so deeply and so hurt by the world, yet still help others

It's not my ctb date quite yet but I don't want anyone knowing it. But it is in October. I need to focus my remaining time left on making things as easy for family as possible and making sure everything is planned for my method etc. I'm also likely going to run away prior to the attempt so won't have access to SS. Also some people here trying to talk me out of it and don't need that negativity right now.
Then also issue of me being here endangers others. So for everyone' sake it's better I leave now.

So thank you and bye. Just leaving here for now but hopefully leaving this earth soon too.
I hope you all find peace somehow.

Take Care

 

[nir]

Ugh this breaks my heart. I was really hoping you could get the help you needed. I'm sorry that didn't end up happening.

 

[lostintheloop]

Ugh this breaks my heart. I was really hoping you could get the help you needed. I'm sorry that didn't end up happening.

Please don't be sad or sorry .
I can be at peace finally

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I know things have been confusing and painful for you, but I hope you know that people here truly care for you. Wishing you peace no matter what, we are here for you.

 

[redkitsune98]

I hope you find peace and comfort with this

 

[maniac116]

I hope everything goes well & as planned & you go to a place of peace & love

 

[sorrowful]

Farewell, I hope that you can find the peace you're looking for. Best wishes.

 

[Davey40210]

All the best

 

[lostintheloop]

Thank you all . Wishing you all the best , whatever that looks like for you

 

[nextstepdeath]

Hey, hope you are well. Sorry to read you have suffered so much, I hope peace comes to you in the future in a way that is line with your wishes, I sense you've had a tough time and I hope things work out.

 

[rollingthunder]

I hope you find peace in some way or another.

 

[EternalShore]

I know this isn't an airport don't need to announce my departure etc.
But just wanted to say thank you to the many people who were supportive here including a special few who really went out of their way with kindness and understanding, and checked in on me a lot. I hope you know who you are. I'm amazed by the compassion from people suffering so deeply and so hurt by the world, yet still help others

It's not my ctb date quite yet but I don't want anyone knowing it. But it is in October. I need to focus my remaining time left on making things as easy for family as possible and making sure everything is planned for my method etc. I'm also likely going to run away prior to the attempt so won't have access to SS. Also some people here trying to talk me out of it and don't need that negativity right now.
Then also issue of me being here endangers others. So for everyone' sake it's better I leave now.

So thank you and bye. Just leaving here for now but hopefully leaving this earth soon too.
I hope you all find peace somehow.

Take Care

I wish you the best! ^_^ It's nice of you to try and be as good as you can for your family with your remaining time~ :)
I don't know your situation, but yes, pro-lifers can certainly be annoying and have been infesting this site as of recent! :(
Anyways, see ya~ I wish you the best, and I'll pray for you! :)

 

[outrider567]

Peace to you

 

[NoRespawn]

Then also issue of me being here endangers others. So for everyone' sake it's better I leave now.

I dont know any details about your situation, but I hate that this is an even an issue, family are supposed to be the ones who should understand you the most and be there for support and things of that nature. So, i can understand the hurt of the betrayal when they all turn against you, because its something iv been dealing with and its the major reason I want to log off this pos game called life.

I hope you truly find peace, in however form it may be, and have 0 regrets.

Spoiler: gif

 

[Someplace_nice]

Good bye and good luck, I hope you find the peace that you deserve.

 

[Whale_bones]

With my illness I can't check SS as often as I'd like, but you're one of the few people who I always check in on and look for their posts when I come on here. I know it's just the internet, but I want you to know that you being vulnerable and honest, and responding to my comments in such a kind, yet authentic way, has given me some moments of human connection that I'm thankful for. It may seem like a small thing, but it's not. I understand the decision to step away from SS, but if you do want to pop back on here and update us, or just rant, I'll be glad to see you around.

 

[heavyeyes]

I'm sorry life wasn't kinder to you. I hope you finally find the peace you seek. Godspeed

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I'm so sorry to see this thread. I was keeping up to date with your story and it really is one of the mental health system failing you greatly. I truly believe you wouldn't make this decision if the professionals that assessed you had opened their eyes and noticed the very clear psychosis you're experiencing.

I don't blame you for going this way, I suffered a similar fate although your case is worse than mine. I don't blame you because when one is in it, it all makes sense and it feels like the world is wrong for doubting us.

I'm so deeply sorry and, to be honest, angry for these so called professionals being so careless. It will cost the world your life and it could have been avoided had they opened their eyes.

I will miss seeing your posts, seeing you around. I know you truly think you need to leave and I understand that but if at any moment you'd like to chat or just update us, there will be several people welcoming your updates with open arms. I know I will be.

I hope you feel the peace you long for, whichever path you choose. I know you need to correct the glitch and you're on a mission to not hurt innocents, which is kind and selfless, I just wish the world had done more for you, you deserve more.

I'm here for you, truly, if you ever want to talk. Wish all goes well for you, wish you peace from that hell ❤

 

[lostintheloop]

Thank you so much everyone
I'll miss this community and really appreciate you all
Going to step away now. Hopefully things will go to plan and I won't be back . But will maybe return if it doesn't, hoping it doesn't come to that though

Extra thanks to @Whale_bones and @ForgottenAgain I know you've both been there on many of my threads. I hope things can improve for you and that you can find peace on this earth. But if that's not possible then I hope you find peace another way.

And @ForgottenAgain they do think it's psychosis now and the psychosis team have been supporting me this past month. I don't want them to get the blame as they've been so kind and understanding this time. They just can't see the truth and I can so nothing they can do .


I really wish you all well

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Thank you so much everyone
I'll miss this community and really appreciate you all
Going to step away now. Hopefully things will go to plan and I won't be back . But will maybe return if it doesn't, hoping it doesn't come to that though

Extra thanks to @Whale_bones and @ForgottenAgain I know you've both been there on many of my threads. I hope things can improve for you and that you can find peace on this earth. But if that's not possible then I hope you find peace another way.

And @ForgottenAgain they do think it's psychosis now and the psychosis team have been supporting me this past month. I don't want them to get the blame as they've been so kind and understanding this time. They just can't see the truth and I can so nothing they can do .


I really wish you all well

I'm glad they finally saw the problem and were kind to you. It was incredibly revolting for me how it took the system so long and you had so many hurdles along the way. Things should have been easier when one is suffering so much and it is so clear to the outside world.

Thank you for updating, I appreciate it.
I wish you all the best. I've been rooting for you since the beginning, hopefully towards recovery but if that's not possible then I'll be rooting that you find peace, calmness and the meaning you're searching for.

Will think of you dearly, always. Take care friend, I believe in you

 

[SVEN]

Vaya con Dios, troubled unmet friend. Perhaps we may meet in some other place, some other existence.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

I will miss you more than you will ever know
No shame in changing your mind whatsoever, I'll still be here to talk ❤
EIP not helping..?

I hope you find peace. You deserve it.

 

[lostintheloop]

I know I said I was leaving and not coming back before ctb but came back for update, not that anyone needs to care, I'm just bored and anxious to get to the date . Still sticking to plan and same day though.

So it's not the date yet. But my next mental health appt. is very close to so it's a huge waste of time I could be focusing on end.
So i'm emailing them to discharge myself, drafted it, just going to edit and send tonight. I need them to understand that I won't really die and just glitch and that they're in danger so that they'll be scared off from pestering me or family.

Last appt. was so pointless as naturally they want to help me work on some recovery goals.
But I cant work on setting goals and feeling better when my actual goal is to ctb and save others . And it's so dangerous as I'd have to hurt people if i say too much so can't be around professionals anymore. They've been so understanding and patient, honestly this team has restored faith i'd lost in professionals. It seems sadly rare but some good do exist ! So i want it to be clear this wasn't their fault.

 

[lostintheloop]

C

I know I said I was leaving and not coming back before ctb but came back for update, not that anyone needs to care, I'm just bored and anxious to get to the date . Still sticking to plan and same day though.

So it's not the date yet. But my next mental health appt. is very close to so it's a huge waste of time I could be focusing on end.
So i'm emailing them to discharge myself, drafted it, just going to edit and send tonight. I need them to understand that I won't really die and just glitch and that they're in danger so that they'll be scared off from pestering me or family.

Last appt. was so pointless as naturally they want to help me work on some recovery goals.
But I cant work on setting goals and feeling better when my actual goal is to ctb and save others . And it's so dangerous as I'd have to hurt people if i say too much so can't be around professionals anymore. They've been so understanding and patient, honestly this team has restored faith i'd lost in professionals. It seems sadly rare but some good do exist ! So i want it to be clear this wasn't their fault.

Chickened out of sending email , don't want them to consider mental health act assessment. Most likely they'd just discharge and be glad to have another patient off their books. But cant risk small chance they'll doubt my capacity.
Instead just going to make excuse why i cant make appt. and will just keep re-arranging until my ctb date which won't take long hopefully

 

[opheliaoveragain]

we are here with you

 

[pedrbel8805]

My best wishes for you, peace and love.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

I really wished EIP could help you feel better... I try to respect your decision but somehow I feel as if they are still failing you and I just wish there was a way to make you feel better without cbt.

 

[willctbsoon]

May you find peace, and love !

 

[Whale_bones]

I know I said I was leaving and not coming back before ctb but came back for update, not that anyone needs to care, I'm just bored and anxious to get to the date . Still sticking to plan and same day though.

So it's not the date yet. But my next mental health appt. is very close to so it's a huge waste of time I could be focusing on end.
So i'm emailing them to discharge myself, drafted it, just going to edit and send tonight. I need them to understand that I won't really die and just glitch and that they're in danger so that they'll be scared off from pestering me or family.

Last appt. was so pointless as naturally they want to help me work on some recovery goals.
But I cant work on setting goals and feeling better when my actual goal is to ctb and save others . And it's so dangerous as I'd have to hurt people if i say too much so can't be around professionals anymore. They've been so understanding and patient, honestly this team has restored faith i'd lost in professionals. It seems sadly rare but some good do exist ! So i want it to be clear this wasn't their fault.

It's nice to hear from you! Even though it's not good news that you're still having to deal with the same burdens. I'm still glad to see an update

I imagine it's a difficult line to walk since you can't be open with the MH team about CTB plans, and naturally that's one of the biggest things on your mind right now. If you don't mind me asking, when they suggest working on recovery goals, what kind of things are they focusing on? Because even if you didn't have a date in mind for CTB right now, it seems like the issue of the glitch and the system is such a distressing and significant problem in your life, that focusing on other things might not help.

I could also understand if the MH team doesn't want to trigger you too much by asking about the system though, and they know it can be hard for you to talk about, so they could be trying to come up with ways to ease your stress in other areas.

On the one hand it's a great thing when good, caring professionals take it slow, and take the time needed to show you they're trustworthy and looking out for your best interest. I think building up that trust is so important. But there's not really any way to speedrun that, it just takes a certain amount of time. So I just wish this team had met you earlier, and not close to an intended CTB date.

 

[lostintheloop]

It's nice to hear from you! Even though it's not good news that you're still having to deal with the same burdens. I'm still glad to see an update

I imagine it's a difficult line to walk since you can't be open with the MH team about CTB plans, and naturally that's one of the biggest things on your mind right now. If you don't mind me asking, when they suggest working on recovery goals, what kind of things are they focusing on? Because even if you didn't have a date in mind for CTB right now, it seems like the issue of the glitch and the system is such a distressing and significant problem in your life, that focusing on other things might not help.

I could also understand if the MH team doesn't want to trigger you too much by asking about the system though, and they know it can be hard for you to talk about, so they could be trying to come up with ways to ease your stress in other areas.

On the one hand it's a great thing when good, caring professionals take it slow, and take the time needed to show you they're trustworthy and looking out for your best interest. I think building up that trust is so important. But there's not really any way to speedrun that, it just takes a certain amount of time. So I just wish this team had met you earlier, and not close to an intended CTB date.

Thank you for your understanding and kind message
I agree with what you say about it being a difficult balance . You raise really good points .

They let me decide on goals , i suggested feeling less anxious and getting out more . As i've been more anxious and isolated because of the system. And that felt like something that could be worked on whereas the other issues can't. But yeah i dont actually care about those things atm as like you say , the glitch is the main issue . I need to protect people so i dont actually want to work on the things I suggested