Goodbye. Time to ctb!

[ieatcrayons]

Hey everyone! I didn't get too much time in this forum but that's probably because I lurked for far longer than I had an account here. It would have been nice to get to know some of you guys. If everything goes to plan, tomorrow is my ctb date. I thought by now I would find a better way to ctb but i'm desperate to die and don't want to suffer anymore so i'm going with rail. Please don't try to discourage me. I've already made my choice.

Here's the plan - travel to rails, get drunk to overcome SI, hide before the train arrives, and lay head on tracks for decapitation a couple seconds before the train passes.
I've already figured out the train schedule and how to commute there i'm just concerned about the possibility of failed ctb.

This and This were the main two threads I went through and although i'm certain that my train system has been used to ctb in the past i'm not certain about the success of decapitation due to a cowcatcher. Would you guys recommend I just stand in front head first and eat the hit? I attached a picture of the trains around here.



I'm scared my head might not fit under there but i've already scoped out this system once and it seems like there's a good chance it will. If it does hit my head instead of decapitating me would that knock me out and kill me? Or should I stand in front and go with the head on collision? I know the train goes at least 40-50mph

 

[justpeachyyyy]

Any time I read about someone doing it this way they don't typically survive and it's very quick no matter how you position yourself. Whatever ends up happening, I hope you don't have to suffer any longer.

I also lurked this place for a few months (since I found that one video trying to talk bad about this place lol he actually helped me) and only made an account today. I'm hoping to talk to people who actually get it instead of speaking my true feelings and getting committed by others. Idk how much information to give away, though I don't think anyone I know is on here, but I have cats and love the color purple lol. If you'd like to share anything about yourself before you go I'd love to hear!

 

[LostSoul1965]

Not true at all. There have been many documented cases where someone was hit by a train and survived. Usually missing limbs. I know it has worked also for some but this is not a 100% way to go. I get the fact none are 100% but just choose wisely. Life may be bad now but imagine being ripped apart by a train and surviving.

 

[theboy]

do not make this decision on impulse

 

[ieatcrayons]

do not make this decision on impulse

My decision isn't impulsive at all. I've been considering different methods for months now. I just don't care enough anymore about the method so long as the chance of survival is very low.

Not true at all. There have been many documented cases where someone was hit by a train and survived. Usually missing limbs. I know it has worked also for some but this is not a 100% way to go. I get the fact none are 100% but just choose wisely. Life may be bad now but imagine being ripped apart by a train and surviving.

If a train initially makes contact with my head i'm not sure it is possible to survive and if it is i'm willing to bet I won't be losing any limbs.

 

[MrShino]

Man, I just have to say, please reconsider this method. I understand you are at the end of your rope, but why not get SN and drift peacefully away instead? This may be traumatic to other people and as other people have said, if you don't die, the consequences are enormous. There are better ways to do this!

 

[theboy]

My decision isn't impulsive at all. I've been considering different methods for months now. I just don't care enough anymore about the method so long as the chance of survival is very low.

This method is not easy as it depends on the speed and the force at which the train is moving. In addition, the distance between the head and the rail must be calculated very well. I know of people who have lost limbs by this method. I am not urging you to do it...I just wish you peace of mind.

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

I would probably stand in front of it. Getting hit head on by a train going 50mph will kill a person.. I'm not sure what's going on with a lot of these comments suggesting so much otherwise. There's too much fear mongering on this board about all effective methods outside of "sodium nitrite". I'm sorry OP, some of the comments on here are just.....especially considering whatever a person must go through to get to such a place and choice. I wish you Peace and freedom.

 

[DeIetedUser4739]

You should look up trains hitting people on kaotic to see videos of what happens, sometimes they get flung off to the side idk if they survived or not.

 

[Sylveon]

Man, personally, I'm no longer considering this method, not because of the implications it may or most likely will have on others, but rather because during my time here, there have been four train attempts in my city (that I know of), three of which ended up in failure, with people surviving with permanent damages. Yeah, I get that it may be due to poor planning and all that, but that's not a risk I'm willing to take.

Whatever it may be, I hope you find peace in the meantime; no one should have to resort to such methods; take care, OP.

 

[iloverachel]

I wish you a peaceful journey
Farewell my friend

 

[ieatcrayons]

Hey everyone. Thanks for the concern. Im still probably gonna stick with this method. I plan on doing it in around 7 hours so i'll keep thinking about it. Who knows if it seems lethal enough i'll do it. That being said im at a point where i really don't even care if I lose limbs or survive. I can't keep doing this. Im most likely gonna just say fuck it and do it. I don't want to wait any longer. I don't know how you guys do it. Waiting for death to arrive? For SN to arrive? At that point why not just wait until you die peacefully... the normal way? Carpe Diem.

 

[waitpresence]

Man, I just have to say, please reconsider this method. I understand you are at the end of your rope, but why not get SN and drift peacefully away instead? This may be traumatic to other people and as other people have said, if you don't die, the consequences are enormous. There are better ways to do this!

I wish I knew how people get SN lol

 

[justcallmeJ]

I hope you are sure of this, goodluck on your journey and i hope you find peace <3

 

[Kitana]

You have some guts to do it… my only possible way to end it is hopefully getting my hands on some fentanyl or smth. And normally I don't take drugs but if it helps me to end this life, I'm down

 

[rozeske]

It always saddens me when someone had to resort to gruesome methods out of desperation but I understand not everyone has a field of choice of peaceful methods.
I wish you the best op and I hope you find the peace you search for

 

[ieatcrayons]

You have some guts to do it… my only possible way to end it is hopefully getting my hands on some fentanyl or smth. And normally I don't take drugs but if it helps me to end this life, I'm down

It's not guts. It's the opposite. At some point you can't take it any longer. It takes guts to do something crazy when you don't want to. I have been pushed to this point. I'm still going through everything in my head and I hope alcohol will help me through SI. There's only one way to find out. Only a couple more hours .

I've changed my mind though. If I do end up going through I will be laying across the track with my neck on the track. If the cowcatcher gets me I will be sucked under and not booted away.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Train method is such a cruel way to go. I hope you find peace.

 

[EyesOfNight]

I've changed my mind though. If I do end up going through I will be laying across the track with my neck on the track. If the cowcatcher gets me I will be sucked under and not booted away.

It looks high enough for your neck to pass under it. And even if it doesn't it's just like you said.
I wish you peace, best of luck.
Also, depending on the size of your torso you could get caught on the cowcatcher and be dragged along. Just something to keep in mind.

 

[moeyogosankosappo]

Hey everyone! I didn't get too much time in this forum but that's probably because I lurked for far longer than I had an account here. It would have been nice to get to know some of you guys. If everything goes to plan, tomorrow is my ctb date. I thought by now I would find a better way to ctb but i'm desperate to die and don't want to suffer anymore so i'm going with rail. Please don't try to discourage me. I've already made my choice.

Here's the plan - travel to rails, get drunk to overcome SI, hide before the train arrives, and lay head on tracks for decapitation a couple seconds before the train passes.
I've already figured out the train schedule and how to commute there i'm just concerned about the possibility of failed ctb.

This and This were the main two threads I went through and although i'm certain that my train system has been used to ctb in the past i'm not certain about the success of decapitation due to a cowcatcher. Would you guys recommend I just stand in front head first and eat the hit? I attached a picture of the trains around here.

View attachment 139902

I'm scared my head might not fit under there but i've already scoped out this system once and it seems like there's a good chance it will. If it does hit my head instead of decapitating me would that knock me out and kill me? Or should I stand in front and go with the head on collision? I know the train goes at least 40-50mph

i wish you a goodluck, please, plan it well to not suffer. hope you will find peace.
when i see someone is sure about ctb and already have date... thats so heartbreaking, cause their life was difficult. but i can understand all of you, guys. hope you all will find peace and die immidiately without any suffer

 

[FuneralCry]

Farewell, I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you find freedom from all suffering.

 

[suffering_mo_7]

Man, personally, I'm no longer considering this method, not because of the implications it may or most likely will have on others, but rather because during my time here, there have been four train attempts in my city (that I know of), three of which ended up in failure, with people surviving with permanent damages. Yeah, I get that it may be due to poor planning and all that, but that's not a risk I'm willing to take.

Whatever it may be, I hope you find peace in the meantime; no one should have to resort to such methods; take care, OP.

THIS. This is what scares me. I'm assuming because of these cowcatcher things.

 

[nixolab]

Goodbye :/ I hope you find peace, wish you the best, im still gathering courage for my CTB

 

[slightoverlooked]

not long ago in my city, a guy jumped from the bridge on top of the train tracks while a train was passing by and he survived (!) He's paralyzed now.

 

[moeyogosankosappo]

not long ago in my city, a guy jumped from the bridge on top of the train tracks while a train was passing by and he survived (!) He's paralyzed now.

is photo that he sended looks like ones in your sity? also like ur pfp

 

[caliban]

Hey,
I don't know if you're still with us, but i hope the best for you! I was/am considering this method too, because it requires little planning and it's quite lethal. However it has it's drawbacks, once i was caught by the workers standing close to the rails and had a hard time talking about what i was doing with the police haha.

 

[slightoverlooked]

is photo that he sended looks like ones in your sity? also like ur pfp

the one in my city and country is a little bigger with more train tracks and a high bridge. ty!! i like ur pfp too!! love harajuku/japanese fashion style!

 

[melancholymallory03]

I'm wishing you Peace and comfort on you're journey

 

[returntothevoid]

I've always thought this method was rather inconsiderate of other people. Railway workers will have to clean up the mess you leave behind and be traumatized. They'll have to close down the route and there will be delays because of this. I understand you are in a lot of pain right now but consider a different method that will not massively inconvenience other people.

 

[ieatcrayons]

It looks high enough for your neck to pass under it. And even if it doesn't it's just like you said.
I wish you peace, best of luck.
Also, depending on the size of your torso you could get caught on the cowcatcher and be dragged along. Just something to keep in mind.

Update: After scouting the rail for a couple hours the cowcatchers on every train were way way lower than I felt comfortable with. This reply was stuck in my head the entire time. I am pretty big and the trains were going at most like 30mph so there was a really good chance I was just going to get permanently injured instead of getting sucked under. I'll probably be going with full suspension in a couple days but SI is really disappointing