Goodbye thread

[darksouls]

good luck, I hope you find the peace you desire

 

[fightclub17]

So I've woken up sick - sore throat and cold. Will this affect my plan in anyway?

 

[leoneliona]

I know we haven't talked, but I've read most of your posts and want to say that I unfortunately know almost exactly what you're feeling. My suicide attempt left me with permanent physical issues as well and I will be using the same method as you as a part two, lol. As much as I wish we were not going through this I will say it has been comforting to see that someone else understands. I thought I could persevere through it as well, but the nerve pain and constant reminder of what I have lost is too much for me as well. I really hope you find peace.

 

[fightclub17]

I know we haven't talked, but I've read most of your posts and want to say that I unfortunately know almost exactly what you're feeling. My suicide attempt left me with permanent physical issues as well and I will be using the same method as you as a part two, lol. As much as I wish we were not going through this I will say it has been comforting to see that someone else understands. I thought I could persevere through it as well, but the nerve pain and constant reminder of what I have lost is too much for me as well. I really hope you find peace.

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this aswell. I completely empathise with what you said about it being a constant reminder of pain and loss. What was the method you used and what damage was done? Thank you, wishing you peace aswell.

 

[Lov3]

Your method seems well thought out, I think I'll use it too.
About you, are you okay with this? Are you sure? There's no need to rush, but anyway I hope you can do this peacefully...it's always hard to see goodbyes, I mean...good luck.

 

[leoneliona]

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this aswell. I completely empathise with what you said about it being a constant reminder of pain and loss. What was the method you used and what damage was done? Thank you, wishing you peace aswell.

I won't go into it too in depth on the public forum, but feel free to message me because my story is pretty recognizable to anyone that knows me. Ended up in an amputation though. Can't recommend it to say the least lol.

 

[fightclub17]

I won't go into it too in depth on the public forum, but feel free to message me because my story is pretty recognizable to anyone that knows me. Ended up in an amputation though. Can't recommend it to say the least lol.

Oh I am so soo sorry! I will PM you

Your method seems well thought out, I think I'll use it too.
About you, are you okay with this? Are you sure? There's no need to rush, but anyway I hope you can do this peacefully...it's always hard to see goodbyes, I mean...good luck.

Thank you, I hope I succeed. As much as I am scared of pain - I am at peace with my decision.

 

[Mirrors]

I think of your story frequently. I had a close friend who succeeded at jumping, and it's made your experience really stick with me and accept that he had made his choice and he would not have been happy to survive. I wish I could give you the biggest of hugs, and I hope it brings some warmth to you that sharing your words here has helped a stranger find some peace.

I am so sorry for the pain life has brought you, I am so sorry that you find yourself here. I never want anyone to have to choose this. I will keep you in my memories, and I hope you find the quiet and calm you seek.

 

[fightclub17]

I think of your story frequently. I had a close friend who succeeded at jumping, and it's made your experience really stick with me and accept that he had made his choice and he would not have been happy to survive. I wish I could give you the biggest of hugs, and I hope it brings some warmth to you that sharing your words here has helped a stranger find some peace.

I am so sorry for the pain life has brought you, I am so sorry that you find yourself here. I never want anyone to have to choose this. I will keep you in my memories, and I hope you find the quiet and calm you seek.

I'm glad to hear you could make peace with your friend's passing. Mourning that loss would be difficult. But I can assure you if they made that choice, then they are in a better place 🕊 thank you sm for your kind words

 

[Harrier]

So I've woken up sick - sore throat and cold. Will this affect my

I think that the problem with what you are experiencing would be nausea from feeling unwell.

Since you seem sure of your decision, I won't try to discourage you at this point, but be aware that a cold might complicate things.

It seems that you have time before you fast, so for the time being you can take fluids until you feel that it is time to stop.

Also, try to get some food in you now, if you can. It will help you feel better.

I am sorry that you don't feel well. Take care of yourself the best you can, and when it is time - you will know.

Don't know how to do the hug emoji, but sending you one now.

We love you.

 

[fightclub17]

I think that the problem with what you are experiencing would be nausea from feeling unwell.

Since you seem sure of your decision, I won't try to discourage you at this point, but be aware that a cold might complicate things.

It seems that you have time before you fast, so for the time being you can take fluids until you feel that it is time to stop.

Also, try to get some food in you now, if you can. It will help you feel better.

I am sorry that you don't feel well. Take care of yourself the best you can, and when it is time - you will know.

Don't know how to do the hug emoji, but sending you one now.

We love you.

Yeah I'm worried of nausea cos right now drinking anything is a little painful. But if salt water gargles aid sore throats, maybe SN will make it feel better who knows. I am still determined. I'll eat some healthy meals and keep my fluids up today. Thank you, I appreciate your kind words

 

[TooMuchHasHappened]

I new on here, so don't know you, but I've read all these posts and can see that you were well liked. I too am in a lot of physical and mental pain from years and years of accidents/injuries, 15 surgeries, chronic pain, CPTSD, etc etc etc, from the military, sports and exercise, and generally just an adrenaline junkie lifestyle. My whole life was very intense, both professionally and recreationally. My nervous system is shot to pieces too. My physical and mental issues have left me unable to work, unable exercise, or do any of the things that i used to love. I live with my parents now due to all my issues, and spend most of my days in bed or on the couch, and rarely go out. That said, I can sort of relate to what you're going through, even though our situations differ greatly, but I realise that myself nor anyone else will truly understand how you feel, because that's obviously subjective. We're all suffering in our own unique ways, but we are all here for the same reason, we suffered too much trauma and life became too unbearable. When the reasons to CTB far outweigh the reasons to carry on, I can understand why anyone would want to CTB. Personally, I've probably got about 50 reasons to CTB, some people only need one. When I do CTB, at least I can say that I tried, that I gave it my best shot and tried my absolute best to have some sort of a life worth living, but I just accumulated too many issues to live with, and there was no chance of my situation improving. In fact, I can only expect more problems in the future, and I've had enough now, I'm done, too many doctors, too many surgeries, too much pain, too many physical and psychological issues, etc etc etc, it's over.

Anyway, it's sad that any of us have to be on here, but unfortunately the paths we have been down - whether we have chose them or not - have lead us all here. I'm just glad, as I'm sure you are, that we were able to find a community like this and meet other people who truly understand.

I sincerely hope you find peace, and sorry life brought you here.

 

[fightclub17]

oh and also you dont have to drink 25×2 sn. one cup will work just fine. if you drink too much you will vomit

Oh just saw this, I realise that bit of my post is misleading lol but the extra cup is back up.

I new on here, so don't know you, but I've read all these posts and can see that you were well liked.

Wow your story is moving and I can relate to alot of it, especially the bit about your nervous system being shot to pieces, the accumulative physical/mental stress and being at your parents' moving from the bed to the couch. It's hard when death feels better than living. I feel like a walking corpse. I really hope you're able to overcome your suicidal thoughts and find some love and hope. For me, it's hard because I feel like I caused my own physical pain and trauma. I'm a burden in this state. If I could rewind time I would in a heartbeat.

 

[CleanGopher]

Hi SaSu,

I know I haven't been on the forum long. But I came, I saw and I conquered that SN.

This will be my second attempt (first failed jumping). If you want to know my reasons to ctb, please feel free to read my prior posts.

I wouldn't wish this level of physical and mental pain on my worst enemy. I don't want to be a burden anymore. I just want to rest in peace.🕊

I once lived a normal life. Didn't know about this suicidal world. How I wish I could rewind time.

If all goes to plan, I should be catching the bus on the 9th of April.

My protocol is:

• Metoclopramide 3x 10mg 1 day before
• Metoclopramide 2x 10mg morning of
• 12 hours solid fasting
• 2 hours liquid fasting
• Paracetamol 1000mg + 1mg lorazepam 1.5 hours before
• Metoclopramide 30mg + zantac 300mg 1 hour before
• 16mg odansetron + 10mg lorazepam 30 mins before
• 50mg propranalol 15 mins before
• 2x cups 25g SN

I hope this succeeds. If it doesn't my life will become worse than the living hell I'm already in. I am determined to see it through. In the event my phone gets taken and I appear to be logged on but don't say anything, you can assume I succeeded...

Ya'll have been the most kind and empathetic family, with a tinge of audacity. It was a pleasure.

Bye

 

[Harrier]

I just want to say that in the short time I have been here, this is the first thread which I have been involved in where it seems that everyone else is holding someone's hand until the end.

I'm sure it is not the first time.

You are not alone fightclub17.

We will walk with you to peace, whatever you do.

 

[TooMuchHasHappened]

Oh just saw this, I realise that bit of my post is misleading lol but the extra cup is back up.

Wow your story is moving and I can relate to alot of it, especially the bit about your nervous system being shot to pieces, the accumulative physical/mental stress and being at your parents' moving from the bed to the couch. It's hard when death feels better than living. I feel like a walking corpse. I really hope you're able to overcome your suicidal thoughts and find some love and hope. For me, it's hard because I feel like I caused my own physical pain and trauma. I'm a burden in this state. If I could rewind time I would in a heartbeat.

Yes, it is so sad when being dead is more appealing than being alive, but here we are. I know what you mean about it being hard because you caused you own pain and trauma, I too am responsible for the position I'm in, so feel the same way, but I've also had surgeries which have done me more harm than good, which have not only contributed to my physical dysfunction, but have caused my chronic pain. But if I hadn't have got injured in the first place, then I wouldn't have needed those surgeries, so ultimately I hold myself responsible. I made my own bed, and now I've got to lie in it. And I too would rewind time in a heartbeat if I could, I sure most of us on here would. The saying "if I knew then what I know now" replays in my mind daily, because if I had my time again then there's definitely a thing or two that I'd change.

 

[fightclub17]

I just want to say that in the short time I have been here, this is the first thread which I have been involved in where it seems that everyone else is holding someone's hand until the end.

I'm sure it is not the first time.

You are not alone fightclub17.

We will walk with you to peace, whatever you do.

This brought a tear to my eye, I truly appreciate all the comfort! Maybe this is exactly what I need to hold me through the SI tomorrow.

Yes, it is so sad when being dead is more appealing than being alive, but here we are. I know what you mean about it being hard because you caused you own pain and trauma, I too am responsible for the position I'm in, so feel the same way, but I've also had surgeries which have done me more harm than good, which have not only contributed to my physical dysfunction, but have caused my chronic pain. But if I hadn't have got injured in the first place, then I wouldn't have needed those surgeries, so ultimately I hold myself responsible. I made my own bed, and now I've got to lie in it. And I too would rewind time in a heartbeat if I could, I sure most of us on here would. The saying "if I knew then what I know now" replays in my mind daily, because if I had my time again then there's definitely a thing or two that I'd change.

I completely understand what you mean by surgeries doing more harm than good. I just can't accept that I have to live with this level of physical and mental pain for the rest of my life, I'm so young and it feels like an eternity of pain. I hate myself for doing this to myself. I hope you can find the peace you're looking for.

 

[meddle]

Oh just saw this, I realise that bit of my post is misleading lol but the extra cup is back up.

got it! then it will work just fine

 

[vriska]

i hope your final day was alright, may you find peace if all went according to plan

 

[meddle]

how was your day, buddy?

 

[DanLip22]

Oh just saw this, I realise that bit of my post is misleading lol but the extra cup is back up.

Wow your story is moving and I can relate to alot of it, especially the bit about your nervous system being shot to pieces, the accumulative physical/mental stress and being at your parents' moving from the bed to the couch. It's hard when death feels better than living. I feel like a walking corpse. I really hope you're able to overcome your suicidal thoughts and find some love and hope. For me, it's hard because I feel like I caused my own physical pain and trauma. I'm a burden in this state. If I could rewind time I would in a heartbeat.

you still here?

 

[Harrier]

Still virtually holding your hand.

If you are still here, reach out and take mine.

Be at peace.