Goodbye thread

[Quinton Coldwater]

I don't know why I'm posting this but I guess this is goodbye been suffering from depression for as long as I can remember maybe from 5 to 10 years since it all started or maybe even longer and I stopped myself from CTB by lying to myself saying things will get better but they never do and they never did I'm 19 btw.I hate myself and my life I don't go outside because of my severe anxiety which was induced from years of bullying and I have bpd which I can only thank my parents for that .I don't think I've ever had anyone in my life who's truly loved me but I guess I don't blame them when I don't even love myself either way I'm prolly going to hell of it exists which figures I guess born into suffering and die suffering . anyway I'm going to pee and I'm hanging myself from my windowsill or attempting the carotid thingie

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

safe travels

 

[QueerMelancholy]

Good luck to you my friend. Wherever life takes you.

 

[Quinton Coldwater]

Thanks to everyone for the nice messages

 

[OrphicEnd]

You won't go in hell, hell is not for people who suffer
I hope you'll find the peace you're wanting, and if it fails, you'll always be the welcome here
Safe travel

 

[SVEN]

Best wishes, Quinton, whatever happens.

 

[Anon7b8]

Safe travels man. Hope you get to where you need to be.

 

[Maeve]

Safe seas <3

 

[John Ryder]

Damn, man. You were just in the chat earlier and I had no idea this was a few hours away. Just goes to show you never know around here. Best of luck in whatever you decide

 

[CTBookOfLife]

I'm so sorry you've suffered so much.

 

[deepgroundofmind]

Hey there…I've got no anything…but please do know that there's more to life. I very well know that out of all the comments here, I'm the odd one. But- you're still so young. It's gonna get better. If you just keep on fighting and hanging on, in the end, the bright will shine upon you. It might not be now…but keep up the fight. If somehow, that has solace in your heart, please know that there is still a beautiful part in life. It's so hard, that feeling that whatever you're experiencing, it's like crushing you, slowly but surely, or it has entirely did. I don't know what you're going through, but I'm proud that you're fighting…it's never too late. You didn't, don't deserve any pain, no does anyone else..I'm no professional in feelings nor at words- but I just want to say this. I got no have judgement on anything…I just wanna say this, truly. If ever this has been seen…do read it- I mean no offend or whatsoever- sorry if I've, but I just wanna say this….

 

[Death_or_Coffee]

I'm sorry to hear about the pain you've been through. If you're still here, there are people here that will listen to your story and not judge you for whatever decisions you make. If you know that you want this, then I wish you peace. Just make sure this is not an impulse thing and you know what you're doing so you don't end up worse off. That's the worst outcome and we don't want that for you.

 

[Quinton Coldwater]

Update 've been trying to hang myself partially for hours but I've only semi passed out twice I don't know why it's so hard to locate the carotid arteries I think I've been locating the jugular veins maybe coz my neck is too thick or something but I'll keep trying
There was also an upleasent feeling in my ears like there was liquid and my eyes felt a little painful and one year came out of my eye I think

 

[Death_or_Coffee]

Update 've been trying to hang myself partially for hours but I've only semi passed out twice I don't know why it's so hard to locate the carotid arteries I think I've been locating the jugular veins maybe coz my neck is too thick or something but I'll keep trying
There was also an upleasent feeling in my ears like there was liquid and my eyes felt a little painful and one year came out of my eye I think

Sorry to hear this, mate. Gotta be frustrating. I've thought about this method and I'm scared I'll run into the same trouble. Just make sure you read the threads on this method carefully. Seems like it's not always super simple to pull off. Again, don't want to just end up injured or caught, so if you need to take a step back and test some things out so you're more confident about it, then that might help. Also remember this isn't the only method, so don't panic if it's just not working for you.

 

[アホペンギン]

Good luck, I hope you have a smooth transition.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I wish you all the best, safe travels and good luck!!

 

[blackwidow]

19...so young.. But I read all your woes... Bless your heart.. I wish I could scoop you up and hug you and sort you out.. Life's just cruel constantly... I dont wish anyone luck or usually comment on these posts.. But I read this and I hope you find peace, but outside the 4 walls your looking at now..

 

[Quinton Coldwater]

---

Update : I tried partial suspension with some socks and a cable I found lying around they caused me to be dizzy and my head to fill with blood and my SI kicked in and I removed the ligature from my neck ,I think I might buy a proper rope and I will buy SN if that fails too , I'm sorry to everyone here that I've dissapointed,hopefully my second try will be fruitful

 

[FuneralCry]

It's so awful to me how people even have to resort to risky and barbaric methods like hanging in the first place, it's inhumane how we cannot just instantly leave this world in peace, I hate how suicide has to be so unnecessarily difficult. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you wish for.

 

[Death_or_Coffee]

---

Update : I tried partial suspension with some socks and a cable I found lying around they caused me to be dizzy and my head to fill with blood and my SI kicked in and I removed the ligature from my neck ,I think I might buy a proper rope and I will buy SN if that fails too , I'm sorry to everyone here that I've dissapointed,hopefully my second try will be fruitful

Dude, you don't have to worry about having disappointed anyone here. You're fine. This is about you and what you want here. Just please, please be careful about how you're going about this. Sounds like you're taking the time to figure something else out, at least with a new rope, and I think that's a good idea. If you have the time and patience to go SN route, that should be a more peaceful experience than what you've been trying. I know it feels like an ASAP thing but give yourself time to know you're ready, mentally and method-wise.

 

[Quinton Coldwater]

Dude, you don't have to worry about having disappointed anyone here. You're fine. This is about you and what you want here. Just please, please be careful about how you're going about this. Sounds like you're taking the time to figure something else out, at least with a new rope, and I think that's a good idea. If you have the time and patience to go SN route, that should be a more peaceful experience than what you've been trying. I know it feels like an ASAP thing but give yourself time to know you're ready, mentally and method-wise.

Thank you I really appreciate this but I'm not sure how peaceful SN is going to be because I'm going to take it only,the antiemetis require a prescription and I doubt my doctor would give it to me but there has been a guy here who's successfully CTb by just 3 cups of SN alone

 

[Death_or_Coffee]

Thank you I really appreciate this but I'm not sure how peaceful SN is going to be because I'm going to take it only,the antiemetis require a prescription and I doubt my doctor would give it to me but there has been a guy here who's successfully CTb by just 3 cups of SN alone

I understand the antiemetics problem and that's why going with SN doesn't feel practical to pursue in my case. If you've got a strong stomach it might be a possibility, but not having everything suggested is obviously a risk. I'm trying to go for whichever method I can access with the absolute lowest risk of failure, you know? But if you know of someone who's successfully done it with only the SN, then obviously it's possible. I guess just have backup options because that won't be a guarantee and it would suck to be left feeling more frustrated and hopeless.

 

[Quinton Coldwater]

I understand the antiemetics problem and that's why going with SN doesn't feel practical to pursue in my case. If you've got a strong stomach it might be a possibility, but not having everything suggested is obviously a risk. I'm trying to go for whichever method I can access with the absolute lowest risk of failure, you know? But if you know of someone who's successfully done it with only the SN, then obviously it's possible. I guess just have backup options because that won't be a guarantee and it would suck to be left feeling more frustrated and hopeless.

@EndJstifiesTheMeans is the user I was talking bout he successfully CTb with only SN and he said the wanting to vomit was manageable but his last message was on Wednesday 6.01 and he vomited so I'm guessing he passed out after vomiting shortly after that

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I'm right behind you.

 

[Stuckinpast28]

Thank you I really appreciate this but I'm not sure how peaceful SN is going to be because I'm going to take it only,the antiemetis require a prescription and I doubt my doctor would give it to me but there has been a guy here who's successfully CTb by just 3 cups of SN alone

Try eating ginger, people who do chemotherapy take ginger to help with the nausea and vomiting, some people even say that ginger is as effective as antiemetic. Alternatively, you can try taking a medication like Epicac that will cause you to vomit and then try your luck with a doctor for antiemetics. Edit: I'm not sure where you live but where I live we have a medication called Gravol that is OTC, It is an antiemetic it's not extremely powerful but it does the job when your face is stuck in the toilet bowl constantly spewing vomit

 

[Scythe]

About SN, the other meds are just to make your passing smoother and reduces the chances of you calling for help. If you are to do SN without other meds you need at least double the recommended lethal dose incase you throw up and you should fast a little longer than 8 hours. Going to sleep right after is also a good idea. Last thing, plan out the SN attempt. You need a long period of time not being found.

 

[Quinton Coldwater]

About SN, the other meds are just to make your passing smoother and reduces the chances of you calling for help. If you are to do SN without other meds you need at least double the recommended lethal dose incase you throw up and you should fast a little longer than 8 hours. Going to sleep right after is also a good idea. Last thing, plan out the SN attempt. You need a long period of time not being found.

Thanks this really helps a lot,wouldn't taking a lot more thou make you vomit?and atleast I don't have to worry about being found because I'm pretty much alone in the house 6 or 5 days a week so noone will find me

Try eating ginger, people who do chemotherapy take ginger to help with the nausea and vomiting, some people even say that ginger is as effective as antiemetic. Alternatively, you can try taking a medication like Epicac that will cause you to vomit and then try your luck with a doctor for antiemetics. Edit: I'm not sure where you live but where I live we have a medication called Gravol that is OTC, It is an antiemetic it's not extremely powerful but it does the job when your face is stuck in the toilet bowl constantly spewing vomit

I read that you need an antiemetic that blocks the dopamine receptor because other antiemetics block h2 receptors and other things like that
You're planning on taking SN?

I'm right behind you.

 

[Maeve]

I read that you need an antiemetic that blocks the dopamine receptor because other antiemetics block h2 receptors and other things like that
You're planning on taking SN?

There where successful attempt's with no antiemetics. They jsut make the likelihood of vomiting smaller.

 

[Anon7b8]

Have you checked if domperidone is available to you? Some posted at you could use that as a replacement for meto. It's also much easier to get as it has less side effects. But also weaker effects.

 

[Scythe]

The extra doses are for when you vomit, you take the backup doses. Don't take them all at once. If possible maybe get some car sick meds? They might help reduce chances of vomiting. Not completely sure on that though.