Imhopeless
Please give me sign and I'll end it all
- Jul 24, 2023
- 22
Hello, I'm officially 99% sure I want to be gone by next year. I've never attempted before so I don't know how even get to it.
I want to preferably go while I'm unconscious, I don't want to be aware during that since I know if I were, I wouldn't push myself trough it (catholic childhood, not doubting myself), but I read somewhere that dying while sleeping is actually hell, I never tried so I don't know if that's true or not. My original plan was to take something in lethal dose and then take sleeping pills to make sure I wont wake up but yea, I'm not sure anymore if that wouldn't leave me to suffer more, for example drowning in my own vomit.
The next issue is where I live, I'm not sure if I can ask that here so I sincerely apologise if not. I'm from Poland, Im not socially active so there's no way I can ask someone I know myself, so if any polish folks want to give an advice what to get and where I'll be more than grateful. (+ if you watched Sala SamobĂłjcĂłw you know why I'm kind of terrified of taking meds)
I think last and most important problem, my family and friends. I want to disappear from the earth. I wish my death was as if I was never born at all. As far as I know I can just tell my friends that I don't want to talk to them anymore and that'll be it, they'll just think I'm an ass for leaving without a word of explanation, my family is a bit more difficult. I can't just disappear because I know they'll look for me and I definitely don't want that. I want them to just forget about my existence so they wouldn't even bother looking for me. I want to go without feeling guilty that I may or may not made someone sad.
Thank you for reading my post, if you know any advice I'll be more than happy to hear you out.
I want to preferably go while I'm unconscious, I don't want to be aware during that since I know if I were, I wouldn't push myself trough it (catholic childhood, not doubting myself), but I read somewhere that dying while sleeping is actually hell, I never tried so I don't know if that's true or not. My original plan was to take something in lethal dose and then take sleeping pills to make sure I wont wake up but yea, I'm not sure anymore if that wouldn't leave me to suffer more, for example drowning in my own vomit.
The next issue is where I live, I'm not sure if I can ask that here so I sincerely apologise if not. I'm from Poland, Im not socially active so there's no way I can ask someone I know myself, so if any polish folks want to give an advice what to get and where I'll be more than grateful. (+ if you watched Sala SamobĂłjcĂłw you know why I'm kind of terrified of taking meds)
I think last and most important problem, my family and friends. I want to disappear from the earth. I wish my death was as if I was never born at all. As far as I know I can just tell my friends that I don't want to talk to them anymore and that'll be it, they'll just think I'm an ass for leaving without a word of explanation, my family is a bit more difficult. I can't just disappear because I know they'll look for me and I definitely don't want that. I want them to just forget about my existence so they wouldn't even bother looking for me. I want to go without feeling guilty that I may or may not made someone sad.
Thank you for reading my post, if you know any advice I'll be more than happy to hear you out.
