PrettyKitty
Angel
- Mar 27, 2023
- 180
Hello I'm Niki I'm 18 years old and have been struggling with suicide since I was 11.
Here's some stuff I wrote on others things on what's going on in my life and some reasons I want to CTB is i need a reason.
sanctioned-suicide.net
sanctioned-suicide.net
If you would like to look at them you can they share a lot of what's going on in my head and life.
Over the years like I've said I've struggled with suicide and self harm a lot and I've never felt so hopeless, lost in my entire life. I feel worthless and disgusting to everybody around me no matter how hard I try I'm not enough. There's so many people who say they care about me or love me but than they ignore me at my lowest or hurt me so badly.
I miss being a kid and hugging my teddy bear watching movies with my amazing sister. Even if I was abused back than it was nicer than now. When I was really little though my dad didnt hurt me. It was a fun simpler time for me. I was never ever sad back than.
I attached a picture of me when I was a kid with my dad (his face is blurred out) due to privacy and I don't want people searching him up.
THE PLAN:
I've been starving myself for 3 days now, so in 2 weeks to a month maybe less than that depending what happens, all be staving myself to be slimmer before i die ) i got bad body issues and wanna die somewhat skinnier.
The day I quit the diet.
All wake up that morning still countine not eating till around 1 am.
At 1 am I will get ready nice clothes bath everything.
Sit down and break my fast with the last meal I will ever have.
Than I will set up the rope (full suspension) from the top of my ceiling
I will than kick the chair under away and hope everything goes well
All also be barricading my door so nobody can come in (incase I get caught or heard.
I have failed partial hanging before so that's why I'm doing full, I've researched everything about this method but for the next week or two I will be constantly looking into it to make sure I get it right.
If you would like to message me or anything I'd love to have some friends on here to talk too.
I will be updating my journey aka the starving and research to the very day I do it.
Thank you for everything truly your all pretty amazing, caring people and deserve the best.
Here's some stuff I wrote on others things on what's going on in my life and some reasons I want to CTB is i need a reason.
I really want to die am planning it out tonight/ body issues
I do really think I'm fat I don't know if I have bdd but all look in to it thank you for your response also I love your pfp reminds me of that Nyan cat games thing much love 💗 I am about your exact size and the "normal" part of my brain knows that I am not fat and looking at your photo, I...
sanctioned-suicide.net
My suicide attempts my story.
Since I was 11 Ive been struggling with BPD, Social Anxiety Disorder/General Anxiety, ADHD, Dyslexia and Lyme disease. I tried to commit suicide the first time when I was 11 by overdose. That's also around the time I started self harming. I think got into a abusive relationship around 14-15 ish...
sanctioned-suicide.net
If you would like to look at them you can they share a lot of what's going on in my head and life.
Over the years like I've said I've struggled with suicide and self harm a lot and I've never felt so hopeless, lost in my entire life. I feel worthless and disgusting to everybody around me no matter how hard I try I'm not enough. There's so many people who say they care about me or love me but than they ignore me at my lowest or hurt me so badly.
I miss being a kid and hugging my teddy bear watching movies with my amazing sister. Even if I was abused back than it was nicer than now. When I was really little though my dad didnt hurt me. It was a fun simpler time for me. I was never ever sad back than.
I attached a picture of me when I was a kid with my dad (his face is blurred out) due to privacy and I don't want people searching him up.
THE PLAN:
I've been starving myself for 3 days now, so in 2 weeks to a month maybe less than that depending what happens, all be staving myself to be slimmer before i die ) i got bad body issues and wanna die somewhat skinnier.
The day I quit the diet.
All wake up that morning still countine not eating till around 1 am.
At 1 am I will get ready nice clothes bath everything.
Sit down and break my fast with the last meal I will ever have.
Than I will set up the rope (full suspension) from the top of my ceiling
I will than kick the chair under away and hope everything goes well
All also be barricading my door so nobody can come in (incase I get caught or heard.
I have failed partial hanging before so that's why I'm doing full, I've researched everything about this method but for the next week or two I will be constantly looking into it to make sure I get it right.
If you would like to message me or anything I'd love to have some friends on here to talk too.
I will be updating my journey aka the starving and research to the very day I do it.
Thank you for everything truly your all pretty amazing, caring people and deserve the best.
