It feels a bit surreal that it has come to this, but I am finally going to be ctbing.

I have been on here since 2018. The site was different back then. It was newly formed, I joined only 1 month after it started. I prepared my method and I was ready to do it in September and again in October but I didn't. Life was looking better in 2019. However since the beginning of 2020, it's been getting progressively worse for me and now circumstances have forced me to do it. If I don't do it this month, I will be in very deep problems.
My method is N and I will be going tomorrow. It still doesn't feel normal that I will be ending my life but like I say, circumstances have forced me to.
Thank you for reading. I will update when I do it. I will also say what N smells and tastes like. But I can't say more than that after I take it, because I must switch off my computer before the N takes effect.