Goodbye everyone

[Deleted member 22650]

Maybe I haven't read enough, I thought the 48 hour regimen was 48 hours of meto and fasting for 8 hours before the SN.

I could be wrong because my method is the stat dose, as I don't have meto.

Thats exactly what im doing

 

[rt1989526]

No. He has done it correctly, you need to read the guide.

Ya my bad. I hadn't looked into 48h much as I'm doing the stat regimen.

Glad he is on the right track.

 

[Symbiote]

Survival instinct will feed off your fear of failure. Survival instinct won't appear when you have a clear headspace and you can rationally justify your death without thinking about what you're going to do. On the technical side of things, you've done fine. Mentally, I think you're overthinking things or making last minute preparations that should've been done 2 days ago.

 

[Deleted member 22650]

Survival instinct will feed off your fear of failure. Survival instinct won't appear when you have a clear headspace and you can rationally justify your death without thinking about what you're going to do. On the technical side of things, you've done fine. Mentally, I think you're overthinking things or making last minute preparations that should've been done 2 days ago.

Yeah im quite the impulsive one thats how i do stuff in general
Wtf my friend is there hopefully he doesnt stay to long...

 

[rt1989526]

You must use water with the SN, that much is clear. Other types of drinks will mess with absorption.

Best of luck to you friend

 

[BLUE1970]

How are doing buddy? Remember, if the time is not right it's OK to postpone, if you have any doubt re-think as there is no coming back - death is final.

 

[SpinningSong]

only thing that can save me is me.

Just sounds, so true :D what I've been hearing a lot lately

 

[Deleted member 22650]

After thinking for pretty much the whole day and talking with many nice people, i think imma hold off for couple weeks, ill rethink it through, maybe i can find something to do with my life, might not the usual thing everyone does but maybe i can find something, Im complete honestly im kinda nervous as well, and im fucking hungry/tired. Ill delete this post, sorry i couldn't make it, looks like i'll hang around for a bit longer, i dont wanna waste anymore meto and quit at the end, i'll wait until im 100% certain. Honestly i dont think im the kind of person to plan things ahead i just do it impulsively, so i think i'll keep living life, wether if it sucks or not, i cannot get to that mental state im in after a relationship ends, that is where i need to get to effectively CTB, that mindset of none loves me and i'm such a useless person, which I still am but I need to take personality, which I am not, I just don't have emotions, i tried crying but it doesn't come, i just feel numb, i feel i don't care about anything, so yeah in other words im a pussy, ight hate me now sorry to everyone i didnt mean to, i could have faked it and keep my
« honor » and leave this site but i like people here, its what keeps me alive so yeah ppl here are more important than my ego

 

[Ghost2211]

After thinking for pretty much the whole day and talking with many nice people, i think imma hold off for couple weeks, ill rethink it through, maybe i can find something to do with my life, might not the usual thing everyone does but maybe i can find something, Im complete honestly im kinda nervous as well, and im fucking hungry/tired. Ill delete this post, sorry i couldn't make it, looks like i'll hang around for a bit longer, i dont wanna waste anymore meto and quit at the end, i'll wait until im 100% certain. Honestly i dont think im the kind of person to plan things ahead i just do it impulsively, so i think i'll keep living life, wether if it sucks or not, i cannot get to that mental state im in after a relationship ends, that is where i need to get to effectively CTB, that mindset of none loves me and i'm such a useless person, which I still am but I need to take personality, which I am not, I just don't have emotions, i tried crying but it doesn't come, i just feel numb, i feel i don't care about anything, so yeah in other words im a pussy, ight hate me now sorry to everyone i didnt mean to, i could have faked it and keep my
« honor » and leave this site but i like people here, its what keeps me alive so yeah ppl here are more important than my ego

It's ok friend. It's nice to see you're still with us. Get some food and rest, and hopefully tomorrow is a better day. If you want the bus later it'll still be there if needed, but I'm glad you're here with us and part of the community.

 

[Viro_Major]

After thinking for pretty much the whole day and talking with many nice people, i think imma hold off for couple weeks, ill rethink it through, maybe i can find something to do with my life, might not the usual thing everyone does but maybe i can find something, Im complete honestly im kinda nervous as well, and im fucking hungry/tired. Ill delete this post, sorry i couldn't make it, looks like i'll hang around for a bit longer, i dont wanna waste anymore meto and quit at the end, i'll wait until im 100% certain. Honestly i dont think im the kind of person to plan things ahead i just do it impulsively, so i think i'll keep living life, wether if it sucks or not, i cannot get to that mental state im in after a relationship ends, that is where i need to get to effectively CTB, that mindset of none loves me and i'm such a useless person, which I still am but I need to take personality, which I am not, I just don't have emotions, i tried crying but it doesn't come, i just feel numb, i feel i don't care about anything, so yeah in other words im a pussy, ight hate me now sorry to everyone i didnt mean to, i could have faked it and keep my
« honor » and leave this site but i like people here, its what keeps me alive so yeah ppl here are more important than my ego

Tabarnak. That's a lit retournement de situation. Les cons volent en escadrille mais seuls les cons ne savent pas changer d'avis. Faut que je pense à m'enfiler la première poutine de ma vie en ton honneur. J'espère que tu vas trouver matière à t'accrocher et avoir des bâtards de dieux de ton côté un peu cléments.

 

[Deleted member 22650]

Tabarnak. That's a lit retournement de situation. Les cons volent en escadrille mais seuls les cons ne savent pas changer d'avis. Faut que je pense à m'enfiler la première poutine de ma vie en ton honneur. J'espère que tu vas trouver matière à t'accrocher et avoir des bâtards de dieux de ton côté un peu cléments.

Lol tu mfais rire quand tu sacre haha, ouais ben apres avoir recu tout le support que j'ai recu jai penser et penser pi jme jsuis que si jsuis capable de recevoir autant d'amour de gens que jconnais pas sur internet y'a surement moyen de trouver dequoi a faire dans la vrai vie, enfaite jsais pas j'ai besoin d'y penser un peu plus et cte voici pas gamer toute la journée pcq sa aide aucunement, sa fais juste mettre pause sur ma vie

 

[Silvermorning]

Parfois notre lumiere s eteint et puis elle est rallumee. Re-bienvenue parmi nous , lointain ami.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

You're not "JustAnotherBrick", you're a whole wall! I'm glad you've decided to take some time to think things through... welcome back!

 

[BLUE1970]

After thinking for pretty much the whole day and talking with many nice people, i think imma hold off for couple weeks, ill rethink it through, maybe i can find something to do with my life, might not the usual thing everyone does but maybe i can find something, Im complete honestly im kinda nervous as well, and im fucking hungry/tired. Ill delete this post, sorry i couldn't make it, looks like i'll hang around for a bit longer, i dont wanna waste anymore meto and quit at the end, i'll wait until im 100% certain. Honestly i dont think im the kind of person to plan things ahead i just do it impulsively, so i think i'll keep living life, wether if it sucks or not, i cannot get to that mental state im in after a relationship ends, that is where i need to get to effectively CTB, that mindset of none loves me and i'm such a useless person, which I still am but I need to take personality, which I am not, I just don't have emotions, i tried crying but it doesn't come, i just feel numb, i feel i don't care about anything, so yeah in other words im a pussy, ight hate me now sorry to everyone i didnt mean to, i could have faked it and keep my
« honor » and leave this site but i like people here, its what keeps me alive so yeah ppl here are more important than my ego

I'm really glad you held off, I sensed you were not in the right place to ctb...thank goodness you opted for the 48hr plan rather than stat.

 

[StuFin]

I think you made the right choice, it seemed to me you were maybe subconsciously trying to sabotage the process because you didn't really want to do it, the problem is if it did still work you'd be dead.

There is no race, it's better to be the tortoise than the hare.

 

[DontGiveAshiit]

It is quite understandable that people back off in the last minute. Because once you already got to this position, you stop and think to yourself 'what do i got to lose?' and decide to stay a little more, knowing that you have this option in hand for whenever you will think it's really over. I wasnt in this position, but if I put my hands on N/SN it will really calms me, and maybe give some motivation to give it another chance

 

[suicideisgood]

i love Name of Love! do u know attack on titan by any chance? that song is used for the ending credits

and to OP - i wish u a safe and peaceful journey ❤❤

Of course i do that's how i found the song

 

[flower]

just gotta say nobody will think you're weak for not going through with it. i'm glad you were able to take some time to step back and evaluate things, we all know by now that uncertainty and rushing leads to a bad outcome. glad you decided to stay

 

[Meditation guide]

This is such a big decision to make that no one is going to be upset with you, (except one person did seem to be) if you change your mind. I can imagine myself doing the same thing.

 

[Quinlor]

After thinking for pretty much the whole day and talking with many nice people, i think imma hold off for couple weeks, ill rethink it through, maybe i can find something to do with my life, might not the usual thing everyone does but maybe i can find something, Im complete honestly im kinda nervous as well, and im fucking hungry/tired. Ill delete this post, sorry i couldn't make it, looks like i'll hang around for a bit longer, i dont wanna waste anymore meto and quit at the end, i'll wait until im 100% certain. Honestly i dont think im the kind of person to plan things ahead i just do it impulsively, so i think i'll keep living life, wether if it sucks or not, i cannot get to that mental state im in after a relationship ends, that is where i need to get to effectively CTB, that mindset of none loves me and i'm such a useless person, which I still am but I need to take personality, which I am not, I just don't have emotions, i tried crying but it doesn't come, i just feel numb, i feel i don't care about anything, so yeah in other words im a pussy, ight hate me now sorry to everyone i didnt mean to, i could have faked it and keep my
« honor » and leave this site but i like people here, its what keeps me alive so yeah ppl here are more important than my ego

Hi, hugs for you man . Only to you think... this idea of report step by step the entire process of ctb maybe be psychologically tiring for you. Many opinions confusing your mind, consider ctb alone, just meditating and thinking about the purpose of life in your last minutes.

 

[Silver]

@JustAnotherBrick there is no dishonour in changing your mind and you are equally welcome here now as before. I'm glad this has been an opportunity for you to explore your mental state and your emotions and that you've come to a better understanding of yourself.

 

[Deleted member 22650]

It is quite understandable that people back off in the last minute. Because once you already got to this position, you stop and think to yourself 'what do i got to lose?' and decide to stay a little more, knowing that you have this option in hand for whenever you will think it's really over. I wasnt in this position, but if I put my hands on N/SN it will really calms me, and maybe give some motivation to give it another chance

Yeah this is exactly what came to my mind, what have i got to lose now, why do i have to sabotage my life, i dont have to do that and i can just end it in matters of minutes

 

[Symbiote]

What you experienced is probably equivalent to people changing their minds while plummeting from the Golden Gate Bridge. Leading up to your death seems so effortless, easy sometimes, and then suddenly you get a touch of hope, some compassion thrown your way, and everything unravels. You don't feel the need to end your life and you feel things can be fixed or resolved in some way. Maybe taking a break from the forum and trying the recovery route can help you. We're always here if you need to vent.

 

[Deleted member 22650]

I think you made the right choice, it seemed to me you were maybe subconsciously trying to sabotage the process because you didn't really want to do it, the problem is if it did still work you'd be dead.

There is no race, it's better to be the tortoise than the hare.

Honestly your words made me think, but i wasn't sabotaging it on purpose, I've been in hospitals for bad attempts before like downing a whole pack of tylenol which will for sure not kill and just fuck me up, and I was embarassed as fuck, I wouldn't do that kind of stuff, I think asking for such dumb questions maybe probably a way for me to distance myself from the reality that was coming honestly

What you experienced is probably equivalent to people changing their minds while plummeting from the Golden Gate Bridge. Leading up to your death seems so effortless, easy sometimes, and then suddenly you get a touch of hope, some compassion thrown your way, and everything unravels. You don't feel the need to end your life and you feel things can be fixed or resolved in some way. Maybe taking a break from the forum and trying the recovery route can help you. We're always here if you need to vent.

You are right, sabotaging one's life is easy, definitely end it is something else, i think the day, i'll be ready i won't take couple months sabotaging myself aka paying for stuff and I don't have money for, aka not paying my bills, aka quitting my job, so yeah i think i'll just quit my job and do it right away

 

[Meditation guide]

sabotaging one's life is easy, definitely end it is something else, i think the day, i'll be ready i won't take couple months sabotaging myself aka paying for stuff and I don't have money for, aka not paying my bills, aka quitting my job,

It's so easy to decide that since you are (supposedly) going to ctb you can spend all your money, quit your job, stop paying bills, then realize you actually are not about to die but you are standing in a big pile of wreckage of your ruined life.

This is a dangerous way to think. You have to ctb right from where you are without the lead up with all that destruction. I mean if that's really what you want to do.