goodbye <3

[hi-okbye]

hii!

finally. this is my goodbye thread. my method: go to the beach at the middle of the night, take some drugs (i've listed them in the past), then just wait in the water. either i'll pass out and drown, or i'll pass out and die of hyperthermia, that water is freezing. i've wanted to do this for years, and i really hope this is it.

i'll be active until around 9-10pm (EST). Then i'll probably say bye one last time before i go.

i've always felt some type of calling from the beach. i love that place, and i've always hoped it would be where i would pass, i find it very peaceful and mesmerizing.

i would also like to thank everyone here. without you guys i wouldn't be able to make it, thank you for everything you guys have provided.
mods, i guess if i don't come back in 4 days, you can cross my account out.

thank you everyone <3

- Lra

 

[Life Is My Coffin]

Not too knowledged in that method, but heres some fitting miserable music for the occasion (any time I ever see the word "Hypothermia" I always think of this band)



Sad to see you make this decision. You're always welcome back if you change your mind

 

[SVEN]

Hope all goes well and gently, just falling asleep with the motion of the waves and the gentle sound of the sea. Rest well and peacefully.

 

[FuneralCry]

Farewell, I hope that you find the freedom you search for.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Sorry to see you go, yet will be happy for you if you finally manage to leave this cruel existence behind forever and find the peace you deserve.

 

[hi-okbye]

@Nembutal dreams @FuneralCry @SVEN @Life Is My Coffin
thank you everyone for your kind words, it means a lot to me. i wish you all peace as well


update:

i just finished my last "meal". i finished it off with a bowl of raspberries. I will be food fasting until tonight when i do it. so hopefully the drugs will act quicker and better. I'm not sure if i will water fast, but if i do, i'll only start a few hours beforehand.
today i plan on just doing fun stuff. finish listening to all my songs. calling some friends, just to chat. taking a walk with my family. getting nice and clean (showering, brushing my teeth, etc).

i hope you all have a nice day as well <3


update:

just got my favirote clothes from the washer :)
i'm wearing my favirote hoodie today, then when i'm ready i'll put on my special outfit.

 

[justcallmeJ]

You really got it planned out, i wish you the best and peace in whatever happens

 

[tiger b]

Best wishes

 

[WonderingSoul]

Hope your method makes your exit peaceful. Good luck. It's always okay if you want to change your mind too.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

Best wishes and hope you find peace. Also hope you have an enjoyable last day

 

[hi-okbye]

You really got it planned out, i wish you the best and peace in whatever happens

thank you so much, i'm really hoping it works. my worst fear is that i throw up, and the drugs don't end up making me pass out

Best wishes

thank you :)

Hope your method makes your exit peaceful. Good luck. It's always okay if you want to change your mind too.

thank you so much, i think i made up my mind though.

Best wishes and hope you find peace. Also hope you have an enjoyable last day

thank you :)

 

[degenerate]

hii!

finally. this is my goodbye thread. my method: go to the beach at the middle of the night, take some drugs (i've listed them in the past), then just wait in the water. either i'll pass out and drown, or i'll pass out and die of hyperthermia, that water is freezing. i've wanted to do this for years, and i really hope this is it.

i'll be active until around 9-10pm (EST). Then i'll probably say bye one last time before i go.

i've always felt some type of calling from the beach. i love that place, and i've always hoped it would be where i would pass, i find it very peaceful and mesmerizing.

i would also like to thank everyone here. without you guys i wouldn't be able to make it, thank you for everything you guys have provided.
mods, i guess if i don't come back in 4 days, you can cross my account out.

thank you everyone <3

- Lra

farewell hope for a peaceful exit

 

[BlueOrchid86]

New to the forum; have you outlined anywhere why you feel like doing this?

I spent time in the military, and can assure you laying on a freezing cold beach in soaking wet clothes covered in sand isn't it.

 

[tinyghost]

i hope your final day is as lovely as it sounds

 

[hi-okbye]

New to the forum; have you outlined anywhere why you feel like doing this?

I spent time in the military, and can assure you laying on a freezing cold beach in soaking wet clothes covered in sand isn't it.

haha yes. i agree, i have done the same unfortunately. i tried shallow water blackout and when i failed i sat in pouring rain laying on the ground, Absolut soaked, crying myself to sleep. sat there for 2 hours until i decided i can't lay there forever, so i got up. my fingernails were blue, but it wasn't horrid. i tend to be cold all the time so it doesn't bother me much.

also welcome to the forum, sorry for what your going through.

if you don't mind me asking, i was considering joining the military if i survive after a certain point. would you recomend it?

and for your question. i think i've briefly mentioned it but i don't think i fully outlined it. for a really long time, i've wanted to ctb, i've tried all different ways and many times, about 8-9. i have really bad social anxiety, and it made trying to finish my studies almost impossible. monday i'm being sent to a therapeutic center and i really don't want to go. 4 months ago i lost my partner, my best friend, and it crushed me. he quite literally cured my depression that i had for years, and just like that once he died it came back worse than ever. currently all i've wanted at this point is to be with him. i miss him every hour i'm awake and it's devastating. on top of that i have never had a family that was emotionally supportive, so i can't even talk to anyone about it really. I have a lot of trauma, for all different reasons, and it is slowly crushing me over time. i thought i could escape it if i just ignored it but it doesn't work that easily. i have a lot of issues and have tried therapy, medication, everything, for many many years. it's helped slightly, but not really. i'm exhausted of living the way i am. maybe if he was here still i would make it, but he's not, and i simply don't really know how to deal with that.

farewell hope for a peaceful exit

thank you <3

i hope your final day is as lovely as it sounds

aww thank you, i wish the same for you <33

 

[BlueOrchid86]

haha yes. i agree, i have done the same unfortunately. i tried shallow water blackout and when i failed i sat in pouring rain laying on the ground, Absolut soaked, crying myself to sleep. sat there for 2 hours until i decided i can't lay there forever, so i got up. my fingernails were blue, but it wasn't horrid. i tend to be cold all the time so it doesn't bother me much.

also welcome to the forum, sorry for what your going through.

if you don't mind me asking, i was considering joining the military if i survive after a certain point. would you recomend it?

and for your question. i think i've briefly mentioned it but i don't think i fully outlined it. for a really long time, i've wanted to ctb, i've tried all different ways and many times, about 8-9. i have really bad social anxiety, and it made trying to finish my studies almost impossible. monday i'm being sent to a therapeutic center and i really don't want to go. 4 months ago i lost my partner, my best friend, and it crushed me. he quite literally cured my depression that i had for years, and just like that once he died it came back worse than ever. currently all i've wanted at this point is to be with him. i miss him every hour i'm awake and it's devastating. on top of that i have never had a family that was emotionally supportive, so i can't even talk to anyone about it really. I have a lot of trauma, for all different reasons, and it is slowly crushing me over time. i thought i could escape it if i just ignored it but it doesn't work that easily. i have a lot of issues and have tried therapy, medication, everything, for many many years. it's helped slightly, but not really. i'm exhausted of living the way i am. maybe if he was here still i would make it, but he's not, and i simply don't really know how to deal with that.

thank you <3

aww thank you, i wish the same for you <33

Cold and wet is a miserable existence.

I'm okay now. The military is great, I had terrible experiences, ones that shaped me for the rest of my life, but in terms of the brotherhood/sisterhood you get, it is unmatched.

My oppo (best mate in service) was killed, and it left me totally broken. I was at the point where I'd already died, but just hadn't yet killed myself. I have a very small family, but moved a long way away from them when I joined up.

So I can empathise with you, to an extent. Have you tried pouring your emotions into any hobbies?

 

[hi-okbye]

Cold and wet is a miserable existence.

I'm okay now. The military is great, I had terrible experiences, ones that shaped me for the rest of my life, but in terms of the brotherhood/sisterhood you get, it is unmatched.

My oppo (best mate in service) was killed, and it left me totally broken. I was at the point where I'd already died, but just hadn't yet killed myself. I have a very small family, but moved a long way away from them when I joined up.

So I can empathise with you, to an extent. Have you tried pouring your emotions into any hobbies?

im not sure, i personally am not all that bothered by it, i get why some would be though. i spend a lot of time cold, like right now, i'm freezing in my room, im fine though. thank you for your concern.

interesting, i'll definently consider it. thank you

i'm so sorry for your loss. i get exactly how you feel, that a part of you died with them.

i have i've tried it a lot, unfortuantly everything just breaks me more, since all my hobbies remind me of my friend. i really hope i can be with him again soon, but i've come to terms with the idea of nothingness after death as well. i'm okay with that.

thank you for your comfort though <3, and thank you for your service as well

 

[SVEN]

Hope you savour and enjoy every experience today to the full. Go well.

 

[higherthanthesun]

I wish you all the best on the path you've chosen.

Sending you Love on your final day and onwards <3

 

[hi-okbye]

update:

i caved in during lunch because the pizza looked too good.
still have like 7 more hours at the least, so i'll probably still finish digesting everything.
i'm gonna have a chocolate bar with what i'm drinking (the drugs), because it tastes kinda bad.

right now i'm painting , so my family will have something when im gone. i have four tiny canvases, so i'm making sunrise, mid-day, sunset, and midnight.

Hope you savour and enjoy every experience today to the full. Go well.

thank you so much <3

I wish you all the best on the path you've chosen.

Sending you Love on your final day and onwards <3

i appreciate it thank you <3

 

[higherthanthesun]

update:

i caved in during lunch because the pizza looked too good.
still have like 7 more hours at the least, so i'll probably still finish digesting everything.
i'm gonna have a chocolate bar with what i'm drinking (the drugs), because it tastes kinda bad.

right now i'm painting , so my family will have something when im gone. i have four tiny canvases, so i'm making sunrise, mid-day, sunset, and midnight.


thank you so much <3

i appreciate it thank you <3

I absolutely l love the painting idea, What a beautiful way to be remembered <3

 

[tiger b]

right now i'm painting , so my family will have something when im gone. i have four tiny canvases, so i'm making sunrise, mid-day, sunset, and midnight.

That sounds awesome. Would you consider posting pictures of them here?

 

[hi-okbye]

I absolutely l love the painting idea, What a beautiful way to be remembered <3

thank you :) <3

That sounds awesome. Would you consider posting pictures of them here?

sure, if anyone want to see them i will. i'm not finished with them yet but when i am i'll try to post them. thank you <3


also i would like to just say thank you again to everyone here. all you kind words and support just really warm my heart, thank you for the love on my last day

 

[cheese.out]

The painting idea is absolutely wonderful <3
My heart goes out to you - I wish you safe travels and I hope you find peace

 

[Vesiira]

hii!

finally. this is my goodbye thread. my method: go to the beach at the middle of the night, take some drugs (i've listed them in the past), then just wait in the water. either i'll pass out and drown, or i'll pass out and die of hyperthermia, that water is freezing. i've wanted to do this for years, and i really hope this is it.

i'll be active until around 9-10pm (EST). Then i'll probably say bye one last time before i go.

i've always felt some type of calling from the beach. i love that place, and i've always hoped it would be where i would pass, i find it very peaceful and mesmerizing.

i would also like to thank everyone here. without you guys i wouldn't be able to make it, thank you for everything you guys have provided.
mods, i guess if i don't come back in 4 days, you can cross my account out.

thank you everyone <3

- Lra

i'm sorry it came to this, but i hope it's all you've ever wanted. i hope it's beautiful and that you finally feel at peace. <3

 

[stoiccactus]

As someone who plans to kill himself using a similar method (freezing to death outside at the beach), I wish you well on your journey.

 

[EternalShore]

See ya~! Praying for you :)

 

[hi-okbye]

The painting idea is absolutely wonderful <3
My heart goes out to you - I wish you safe travels and I hope you find peace

thank you so so much <33

i'm sorry it came to this, but i hope it's all you've ever wanted. i hope it's beautiful and that you finally feel at peace. <3

i appreciate it a lot thank you <3

As someone who plans to kill himself using a similar method (freezing to death outside at the beach), I wish you well on your journey.

i'm curious about your method. do you trust the water to be cold enough? personally i dont, so i plan on bringing alcohol, an opioid, and a muscle relaxer (plus water and chocolate). the drugs on their own could possibly kill me. plus the water on its own could possibly kill me. so i'm hoping mixng the two will give a a really high chance of it working. what are you planning to do?

See ya~! Praying for you :)

thank you :) <3

 

[NoFutureAnymore]

4 months ago i lost my partner, my best friend, and it crushed me.

I understand you, I lost my partner recently too. We were both young and still had many plans. I think it's the worst thing that can happen in life, worse then dying yourself.
I wish you the best and that you might be reunited.
P.S. if you change your mind tonight feel free to PM me. I find it difficult myself to find people who fully understand the situation.

 

[PixelPlant]

the drugs on their own could possibly kill me.

what drugs are you gonna use?
btw good luck, i wish i had the balls to ctb