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Twistedliesinside

Student
Apr 20, 2023
106
As I walk down the experience called life, I always stand in shock and disbelief whenever my eyes stop and recognise another who is not meant to be, another like me. I stop and stare in amazement, I wonder what it could be? I long to hope and believe, to see everything it could be. I love and I care and respect everything that is. I enjoy and I connect to a feeling I know is true. I accept and adore the beauty of every aspect of the world. I wonder how I could make the world and my own world even better?

I relax and take a deep breath, as I sign in relief, "The world isn't the worst version of hell it could be, this is nice." "Maybe I'll actually start to plan a future with me in it?".

"Nah this couldn't possibly be real". "Everything I think is good will turn bad, or is already bad without me realising it." I can think of a version of reality where not only is the entire world corrupt and rotten to the core, even if it 'looks' perfect, it's absolutely fake and corrupt. No matter how good it looks for you, no matter how appetising and delicious it definitely appears to be, no matter however right and wrong things actually are. You don't know what's happening. You don't know how you feel. You can't think, you can't breathe.

I always stand in shock and disbelief whenever my eyes stop and recognise another who is not meant to be, another like me. I stop and stare in horror, as my world falls apart before me. I wonder what death could be? I long to agonise and suffer, to torture myself through every life that could be. I hate and I don't care and I don't respect anything that is. I feel dysphoria and disconnection to everything I felt I knew was true. I reject and abhor, every aspect of the monstrosity and abomination that is the world. I wonder how I could contribute towards my own downfall, and make everyone else's downfall even better?

I relax and take a deep breath, as I sigh in relief. "The world isn't the best version of hell it could be... this is nice." "Maybe Ill actually start to plan a future without me in it."
 
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