Going to try tonight

[sadsamantha]

I'm going to try hanging tonight. I've tried it so many times in the past that I've lost count. I've dealt with depression my whole life but it got especially bad just over a year ago when my ex boyfriend who I love with all my heart dumped me for the last time. I fell into a deep pit of depression after that and went absolutely insane, so much so, that I spent this whole past year harassing him, his new girlfriend, and all their friends. It was the only thing that made me feel better, but it all finally caught up with me and I was arrested 3 weeks ago, spent a week in jail, and then was released under the condition that I never try to talk to him or anyone he knows ever again. I'm on probation waiting for my court date and of course charges against me are still pending. Even if I do stay on my best behavior and don't talk to him, I could very well still go back to jail and jail was so traumatic for me that I just can't go back. So now, not only do I still miss him terribly every second of everyday, my future is now pretty much ruined because of this felony charge. I am clearly so fucked up in the head and no doctor or medication can fix me. I really hope I'm able to follow through with this this time. It's my first attempt since being arrested.

 

[Pentobarbital_Plz]

May you find True Peace <3

 

[girlsboysthems]

It is your decision to make, I hope you choose yourself and whats best for you.

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

Per ardua ad astra

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a really horrible situation to be in, so I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[BBBB]

I'm trying tonight too. Wishing us both a successful exit.

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

I'm trying tonight too. Wishing us both a successful exit.

Per ardua ad astra

 

[Wannagonow]

Your situation sounds very difficult. I hope you're able to find peace- whatever that means to you.

 

[Riddle]

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

Yea your felony charge will make life a bit tougher for a while, but in 5-10 even 20 years this guy will be a distant memory. I think you should give yourself some more time before making this decision as it is a permanent one

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I hope this is what you really want. I wish you the best.

 

[Worndown]

I hope you find peace. Please make sure your setup is good.

 

[Ernest1964]

" Do or do not, there is no try." My big fear is that I will :try" and not succeed. That is why last week I bought two bottles of Pento. and some antiemetic medication so that when I DO CTB, there will be NO TRY, there will only be succeed. Good luck to you. Be brave. Be at peace.

 

[disillusion]

What if you find new love in the future? Please dont do it yet. Give it some time? What made you getting arrested?
I understand how you feel. I was going to jump from the building too when i was dumped by my ex in my 20s. I even quit working back then.
No i didnt find any love but now that i look back I am glad that ex dumped me. Was very painful but had he not dumped me i would end up marrying him and being cheated on. Thats what he is doing to his current wife.

Please hang on because you are more important than your ex and think it through. You might not end up in jail.

 

[whywere]

I agree 100% with @Riddle that I would take a step back and think first.

You have your entire family here on SS to help, I am pro-choice and with that aspect said it is one and done. I have 2 attempts, and both were knee jerk reaction.

Ctb is NOT going anywhere and taking some time to think and then planning accordingly.

You made a learning experience, some call them mistakes, I do not, and to in a flash do something that can never ever be undone makes my heart break for you.

If you want to talk message me, I would love to, as far as with almost 67 years of lie experiences we could exchange ideas.

Walter

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

Yea your felony charge will make life a bit tougher for a while, but in 5-10 even 20 years this guy will be a distant memory. I think you should give yourself some more time before making this decision as it is a permanent one

Spot on. You are a very intelligent and loving soul.

Walter

 

[sadsamantha]

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

Yea your felony charge will make life a bit tougher for a while, but in 5-10 even 20 years this guy will be a distant memory. I think you should give yourself some more time before making this decision as it is a permanent one

I am 23

 

[rifle]

I wish you'll find relief <3

 

[Cathy Ames]

I'm going to try hanging tonight. I've tried it so many times in the past that I've lost count. I've dealt with depression my whole life but it got especially bad just over a year ago when my ex boyfriend who I love with all my heart dumped me for the last time. I fell into a deep pit of depression after that and went absolutely insane, so much so, that I spent this whole past year harassing him, his new girlfriend, and all their friends. It was the only thing that made me feel better, but it all finally caught up with me and I was arrested 3 weeks ago, spent a week in jail, and then was released under the condition that I never try to talk to him or anyone he knows ever again. I'm on probation waiting for my court date and of course charges against me are still pending. Even if I do stay on my best behavior and don't talk to him, I could very well still go back to jail and jail was so traumatic for me that I just can't go back. So now, not only do I still miss him terribly every second of everyday, my future is now pretty much ruined because of this felony charge. I am clearly so fucked up in the head and no doctor or medication can fix me. I really hope I'm able to follow through with this this time. It's my first attempt since being arrested.

Are you still with us? I am sorry about the things that have happened to bring you to this point.

You didn't ask for advice, but I very strongly recommend that you consult a good defense attorney. You should be able to get the initial appointment for free, and that is the person who will be able to give you an accurate idea of what your future might look like (best and worst cases). For example, some kinds of felonies can be expunged, and (I think) all of them stop appearing on background checks after some number or years (I think it is seven). A good attorney might be able to get you into a diversion program or get the charges reduced for a plea deal.

As far as the part where you said "no doctor or medication can fix me," have you tried? It may not be true. The thing you described (getting dumped followed by obsessive behavior) often does improve or go away once you go "no contact" and allow some time to pass, especially if you get some help in forming different patterns of thinking and similar.

Please let us know how you're doing.

 

[AerialBoundaries]

I agree 100% with @Riddle that I would take a step back and think first.

You have your entire family here on SS to help, I am pro-choice and with that aspect said it is one and done. I have 2 attempts, and both were knee jerk reaction.

Ctb is NOT going anywhere and taking some time to think and then planning accordingly.

You made a learning experience, some call them mistakes, I do not, and to in a flash do something that can never ever be undone makes my heart break for you.

If you want to talk message me, I would love to, as far as with almost 67 years of lie experiences we could exchange ideas.

Walter

Spot on. You are a very intelligent and loving soul.

Walter

I echo those sentiments.

I would wait and see how the judicial system deals with this. Hopefully they show leniency and there won't be any further incarceration. Lesser charges may be brought forward in an instance like this.

Please reconsider and don't do anything impromptu. I've been in your position in regards to an ex and it almost had dire consequences for everyone involved. Nowadays, I don't even think about her.

 

[Pluto]

There's a lot to unpack when it comes to relationships; psychology relating to early childhood events (attachment styles), family relationships, abandonment issues, trauma, etc. Despite its intensity, obsessive love is not entirely real; it is more a symptom of unhealed trauma.

If possible, gaining an understanding of what really happened before you make a final decision would help you make an informed choice. A good psychologist could bring a lot of insight. You might even find yourself curious to experience real love once you've seen through old habit-patterns.

The courts want to see genuine remorse and a willingness to change. A criminal record can make employment harder, but once you are established it all gets forgotten.

 

[6Judas6]

Good decision. I wish you a good suicide

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Did it work out for the OP?