Discussion Going through the motions before CTB

[silentroom123]

How does anyone else feel about having to put on a face whilst they are actively in the process of planning and executing there ctb? I'm finding it very difficult, having to appear to my therapist and family that I'm still working on my recovery. Like I don't want to do anything else but execute my plan. Even watching my favorite films as an example feels like a chore. Any tips?

 

[LostZombie]

For my 10 cents, I will recommenced for you to just relax, chill, calm down since if you are calm on the inside you can better make that appearance outside, since if you really want to ctb, you should be relaxed. It will all be over soon so why panic, why worry, just go through the motions, and think what a person recovering would do, just relax and don't overthink it. If you can see the end of the terrible book you should be happy its almost over, and just think of how you could maybe have fun before its all over. So just do what you liked when you were happy, and just try to have a little fun and exaggerate it.

 

[silentroom123]

For my 10 cents, I will recommenced for you to just relax, chill, calm down since if you are calm on the inside you can better make that appearance outside, since if you really want to ctb, you should be relaxed. It will all be over soon so why panic, why worry, just go through the motions, and think what a person recovering would do, just relax and don't overthink it. If you can see the end of the terrible book you should be happy its almost over, and just think of how you could maybe have fun before its all over. So just do what you liked when you were happy, and just try to have a little fun and exaggerate it.

Thanks for the message, I agree I shouldn't overthink.

 

[meowzers3276]

imo its even more difficult to mask your suffering when you know youre going to ctb, i think part of it is survival instinct too. and also knowing youre basically a dead man walking. it's a heavy secret to carry, i also feel the same. i feel like looking someone in the eye and saying "hey, i will die before you, i will die soon, and you will not know when." i dont know where that urge comes from

i dont have advice really but i can definetly relate