Discussion Going out with a bang

[kohaku]

By "going out with a bang" I mean doing shit that you would never do without knowing you're about to die. Trying the most intense things that might cost you your life. Crime, or a spectacular, strange death. When nothing matters to you, it might just feel fun to think of something absolutely insane to end your life with.

So, have you had any ideas for something like that? Even if you don't think you'd have the courage to do it, or wouldn't want to do it at all, just daydreaming about it?

Personally, when I was 11, I had a personal fantasy that I was hung up on for several days. It was a world where I couldn't feel any pain, and constantly reincarnated. I'd spend those lives killing myself in the most disturbing ways in front of complete strangers, like violently beating my own head against the wall hundreds of times until my brain is mush, or driving a car into the sea. It's fucked up. How am I supposed to feel about a kid fantasizing about something like that?

On another note, I was wondering if you could load up on painkillers and completely numb yourself before doing the unthinkable, like exploding fireworks in your mouth while you've got a delayed poison in you. Is there even anything strong enough to numb you that much?

Leave your thoughts.

 

[k75]

In general, I want to go out quietly with as little attention drawn to myself as possible.

Lately, I've developed a fantasy that goes against that, but for a few reasons I think it's something that will remain just a fantasy.

 

[Sailfisher]

I think by the time I reached this point I only want to fade away.

 

[bath salts]

I used to fantasize about killing my mother then myself... or killing myself in front of her... realized it's just not worth it to carry so much hatred in my final moments. I'd like to go out the way I lived - peacefully and quietly.

 

[Pilum Muralis]

I'm going to treat myself to a fancy meal at some hoity toity restaurant, then get a nice expensive hotel room for the night. Hell, I may even splurge and get a room with a Jacuzzi! Order some champagne, and sleep the last sleep I'll ever wake from.

Then I'll do my business in the woods.

 

[Saga]

I always thought of going on like that but at the same time as my attempts became weaker and unsuccessful I stopped fantasizing about it..In my head I just want to go..peacefully without hesitation without backing out.Its the most painful things that you can have when you try to do it but at the same time it is the most beautiful thing that could happen when you reach the goal..although i wonder am I still able to know if I was successful in making it happen? ..

 

[Life+me=error]

Unpopular opinion: Vegas, 2017. I liked how this guy had a great time spending his last week with great food, gambling, etc before going berserk shooting at others and then killing himself. Must have been an awesome rush.

I am too weak and tired to go out in a similar fashion.

 

[stoney126]

I feel like I am the odd man out here.

Are most people's suicidal fantasies based on the impact that it would have on others?

Because I want to CTB because of my own life. Not in order to inflict pain onto others. It seems like a lot of people want to CTB to traumatize, cause distress or pain, or have a poetic death. I would want to just cease existing; if there were doctor approved options (like a pill you could buy in a pharmacy) then great, that would be perfect. As their is not, I am forced to figure out my own method(s).

But realizing you want to CTB and then trying to ruin the lives of as many others as you can seems very dark. I could only see something similar being correct if you are trying to make a public display in order to change the societal view of CTB, but even then I don't think it would work very well.

 

[Sargasm]

Then I'll do my business in the woods.

Yeah pooping in the woods is on my bucket list too, but there are a lot of mosquitoes where I live, so I can only dare to dream.

 

[sadbunny]

Oh yeah it's a little risky to discuss that here though

 

[Pilum Muralis]

Yeah pooping in the woods is on my bucket list too, but there are a lot of mosquitoes where I live, so I can only dare to dream.

Ha! I didn't even realize that it sound like I want to take a deuce in the woods.
Tho, I suppose after death, with such a big meal from the night before, it's inevitable.

Unpopular opinion: Vegas, 2017. I liked how this guy had a great time spending his last week with great food, gambling, etc before going berserk shooting at others and then killing himself. Must have been an awesome rush.

I am too weak and tired to go out in a similar fashion.

Except for the killing people part, that would be great!
I mean, I don't like country music either, but that seemed a bit excessive.

 

[allgood]

I'd love to fight in Donestsk or something, at least if you die no one will consider it suicide, I heard it's quite easy to find recruitment centres past the border who will take foreign fighters (with a little money involved unless you are ex-forces). I always found combat incredible, something very few people will truly experience these days.

 

[Mr2005]

I feel like I am the odd man out here.

Are most people's suicidal fantasies based on the impact that it would have on others?

Because I want to CTB because of my own life. Not in order to inflict pain onto others. It seems like a lot of people want to CTB to traumatize, cause distress or pain, or have a poetic death. I would want to just cease existing; if there were doctor approved options (like a pill you could buy in a pharmacy) then great, that would be perfect. As their is not, I am forced to figure out my own method(s).

But realizing you want to CTB and then trying to ruin the lives of as many others as you can seems very dark. I could only see something similar being correct if you are trying to make a public display in order to change the societal view of CTB, but even then I don't think it would work very well.

You're not the odd man out. I'm the same and it's been reassuring to see most of the responses have been mature. Anything else seems like attention seeking or possibly homicidal. I admit to thinking of shooting my mother out of rage sometimes but I never would. It's a societal problem that there's no sense of shame saying it. On the contrary it seems like something to be proud of. Taking people with you is pure cowardice and they get no sympathy from me.

 

[AlePizarnik]

I wouldn't want to hurt anyone, not even those who hurt me. But I would like to be high on drugs and have sex. Too bad it won't happen.

 

[Lara Francis]

Ive done a bungee jump which i would have never considered before.
Even up to the last moment ,i was unphased as i didnt care about my life.

Now i want to go base jumping.

 

[TAW122]

I had similar fantasies in life, but ultimately, I just either want a life that I can tolerate (under my own terms and up to how much I am willing to take before catching the bus), or find peace through death. I'd rather not draw a lot of attention to my death not only because it would make me more of a pariah, but also the more people that know, the more likely that someone will 'intervene' and ruin my attempt or plans to CTB successfully. I simply cannot risk that.

 

[Black_Knight]

I'm definitely rewatching the first two seasons of MLP on my day. Not sure if that counts as extreme or not.

 

[Dead beat dad]

Just me, but when we talk about things that involve family members it members if the public, what we are all considering is going to be extreme enough in the eyes of those that survive us.
I don't think that there is anything wrong with taking a few pleasures before checking out, but it is wrong to cause any unnecessary physical or emotional pain on anyone else.
What about the opposite; why not make someone's day in a life changing way (I'm still not sure this is a good idea either but might be worth a discussion too, instead of a dramatic 'final act of defiance' we can have a tender 'final act of love')
Just my 2c
Good luck brothers and sisters
DBD

 

[Angel of Spades]

By "going out with a bang" I mean doing shit that you would never do without knowing you're about to die. Trying the most intense things that might cost you your life. Crime, or a spectacular, strange death. When nothing matters to you, it might just feel fun to think of something absolutely insane to end your life with.

So, have you had any ideas for something like that? Even if you don't think you'd have the courage to do it, or wouldn't want to do it at all, just daydreaming about it?

Personally, when I was 11, I had a personal fantasy that I was hung up on for several days. It was a world where I couldn't feel any pain, and constantly reincarnated. I'd spend those lives killing myself in the most disturbing ways in front of complete strangers, like violently beating my own head against the wall hundreds of times until my brain is mush, or driving a car into the sea. It's fucked up. How am I supposed to feel about a kid fantasizing about something like that?

On another note, I was wondering if you could load up on painkillers and completely numb yourself before doing the unthinkable, like exploding fireworks in your mouth while you've got a delayed poison in you. Is there even anything strong enough to numb you that much?

Leave your thoughts.

Absolutely. I've fantasized about killing the people I hate the most or like becoming some sort of vigilante in order to avenge people who have been victims of terrible murderers and shit like that. And then after that, I'd just CTB so I wouldn't have to deal with the consequences.

I guess I'm not your average bus rider, but I've come up with some pretty dark motivations and methods in the past, that's for sure.

I'm definitely rewatching the first two seasons of MLP on my day. Not sure if that counts as extreme or not.

That sounds like an absolute blast, to be honest, and I'm all for it.