mariannelle
Member
- May 9, 2025
- 22
guilt is my god.
He is the emetic i take before i eat,
he is the voice saying "this money is not yours" when i open my wallet,
And he is the 5$ parring knife i use as punishment when i do not listen.
Guilt is god and I live to prevent his devices. The world is full of so many deserving people that have so little, yet i have been blessed with modern luxuries: Good health clean water warm room cozy bed a job, books, movies,, the library, the wonderful cat outside the library that likes to sit in my lap-- the world is unfair because i, a worthless person, get to experience these things over someone else.
I have spent my life giving what i have to people more worthy. With the amount god talks to me It must be my divine mission to spread this glory.
I am here to announce that i have failed this mission.
I started by donating money. Once i ran out of money i donated my stuff. Once i ran out of stuff all i had left to give was my body.
I did all of these things but never with my heart. A good person does good out of love, i did good out of fear.
A worthless person deserves nothing, but my wrong intentions made me too weak to give Everything. I have kept too much and failed. I would rather die than get rid of my last few things, i would rather die than deface my body any more, i am going to die rather than give. I was too selfish, i failed my mission, and now i am going to die for it. Fuck you guilt god, you may influence but you cannot control. I am mari and im smoking a pack in your name today, a pack I bought with My money from My job, and im not flipping the lucky cigarette around either. Im gonna leave that one in the pack and let it be fuel for my fire tonight. Ill watch the smoke rise towards, but never reach, the moon and i will pray to every other god besides you and let them know how much of an asshole you are. Whether i am right or wrong does not matter; I am going to die.
I love you, members of sasu. If you need anything, ask.
Glory, glory.
He is the emetic i take before i eat,
he is the voice saying "this money is not yours" when i open my wallet,
And he is the 5$ parring knife i use as punishment when i do not listen.
Guilt is god and I live to prevent his devices. The world is full of so many deserving people that have so little, yet i have been blessed with modern luxuries: Good health clean water warm room cozy bed a job, books, movies,, the library, the wonderful cat outside the library that likes to sit in my lap-- the world is unfair because i, a worthless person, get to experience these things over someone else.
I have spent my life giving what i have to people more worthy. With the amount god talks to me It must be my divine mission to spread this glory.
I am here to announce that i have failed this mission.
I started by donating money. Once i ran out of money i donated my stuff. Once i ran out of stuff all i had left to give was my body.
I did all of these things but never with my heart. A good person does good out of love, i did good out of fear.
A worthless person deserves nothing, but my wrong intentions made me too weak to give Everything. I have kept too much and failed. I would rather die than get rid of my last few things, i would rather die than deface my body any more, i am going to die rather than give. I was too selfish, i failed my mission, and now i am going to die for it. Fuck you guilt god, you may influence but you cannot control. I am mari and im smoking a pack in your name today, a pack I bought with My money from My job, and im not flipping the lucky cigarette around either. Im gonna leave that one in the pack and let it be fuel for my fire tonight. Ill watch the smoke rise towards, but never reach, the moon and i will pray to every other god besides you and let them know how much of an asshole you are. Whether i am right or wrong does not matter; I am going to die.
I love you, members of sasu. If you need anything, ask.
Glory, glory.
