Given up hope on a career, partner or friends

[Stormo]

I really want to ctb soon. I think about hanging myself or stabbing myself or eating foxglove. Unfortunately I live in the UK so there aren't many methods accessible to me without having other people witness it.

I've really given up on a career now that AI generation is around. It's killed the industry I spent 4 years at University for. I have other backup plans for a career but I don't see the point in sinking more years into that just for those industries to eventually be taken over too.

I have PTSD from childhood and an abusive ex. These factors made me think I was ugly and unlovable. I don't feel ugly anymore but I am still convinced I'm unworthy of love. Even in relationships after that, I did not feel worthy of love I received and they eventually ended. I have now spent over a year being used in a situationship. Maybe I truly am meant to be alone. I wish being a woman was easier. Why is it so hard to meet someone genuine? I tried dating apps but can't seem to form a connection with these people. When I finally meet someone I do like, he just wants me for sex. I hate and resent him for not wanting me. Why is this my life?

I've also given up on friends. I've been trying to make new friends in person since the start of this year. It has led nowhere. I go to these groups almost every week and interact with the same people. They don't want to meet outside of this or message. I'm so fucking alone.

The only reason I'm deciding to hold out a bit longer is because I just reported my ex for DV. I need to give a statement for that. It's been 2 weeks and I'm still waiting for the police to call. I want him away from other women, I don't want someone else to go through that.

I really don't think anyone would be impacted by my death. I just want to go. I'm so fed up with this all. Life feels so hopeless. I see no point in my existence. The only people I have irl are my 1 friend and this situationship. I can't talk to either of them about this. I really just want it to end.

 

[livefastdieyoung]

You're not worthless. You're literally trying to get an abuser punished, and prevent him from hurting anyone else. You're a good person, and you didn't deserve anything that happened to you. But you are a good person despite it and that takes more strength than people who were born lucky will ever know. I hope you succeed in the court case. Fuck him.

You are worth more than people are capable of comprehending, just because no one else appreciates you does not mean you are incapable or undeserving of it. I promise.

Wishing the best for you and I hope you have a lovely day! I truly hope you find the connection or peace you are searching for!

 

[NoHappyEndings]

I'm sorry Stormo I too have lost hope. Good luck getting him put away. I pray you find healing and love. You are worthy of it.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

what did you go to school for?

I really want to ctb soon. I think about hanging myself or stabbing myself or eating foxglove. Unfortunately I live in the UK so there aren't many methods accessible to me without having other people witness it.

I've really given up on a career now that AI generation is around. It's killed the industry I spent 4 years at University for. I have other backup plans for a career but I don't see the point in sinking more years into that just for those industries to eventually be taken over too.

I have PTSD from childhood and an abusive ex. These factors made me think I was ugly and unlovable. I don't feel ugly anymore but I am still convinced I'm unworthy of love. Even in relationships after that, I did not feel worthy of love I received and they eventually ended. I have now spent over a year being used in a situationship. Maybe I truly am meant to be alone. I wish being a woman was easier. Why is it so hard to meet someone genuine? I tried dating apps but can't seem to form a connection with these people. When I finally meet someone I do like, he just wants me for sex. I hate and resent him for not wanting me. Why is this my life?

I've also given up on friends. I've been trying to make new friends in person since the start of this year. It has led nowhere. I go to these groups almost every week and interact with the same people. They don't want to meet outside of this or message. I'm so fucking alone.

The only reason I'm deciding to hold out a bit longer is because I just reported my ex for DV. I need to give a statement for that. It's been 2 weeks and I'm still waiting for the police to call. I want him away from other women, I don't want someone else to go through that.

I really don't think anyone would be impacted by my death. I just want to go. I'm so fed up with this all. Life feels so hopeless. I see no point in my existence. The only people I have irl are my 1 friend and this situationship. I can't talk to either of them about this. I really just want it to end.

 

[Dejected 55]

I realize I've never really had friends, so I haven't so much given up on that as I've just realized it's never been a thing. I've never had a romantic relationship though it's most of all I've really ever wanted from life. And career... I don't care anymore. The only point in having a job is to support a life... and I have no life, and I have no reason to keep living, and being around people who have lives is too depressing... so I'm mostly just waiting for the end.

 

[legoshi]

I'm in the same situation. Only thing I have going for me is my job and it's a dead in career that's unfulfilling. I don't see any relationship on the horizon for me. I struggle to make connections with people. I have very poor social skills due to low self esteem and self worth. I have no real friends, it just seems people don't like me. I'm not fit for this life.

 

[Vlad Tepes]

We're in the same boat. I'm a severely autistic NEET with equally severe CPTSD resulting from horrid abuse by my family together with constant social exclusion. I have no friends, no job, no nothing, and my family hate me. Even when I was a kid I basically realized that my life would be nothing but suffering (assuming that I lived to be 20, which even then I thought unlikely). I always knew that my life was going to be miserable, I just went wrong in assuming that I'd be able to put up with the misery. Im also horribly ugly (among other things I went bald at 13 and am also literally deformed), and, together with my NEET status and smorgasbord of mental conditions, this means that Ive had to accept that I will never be able to have a girlfriend. This hurts a lot more than it would for most people since Ive always been obsessed with romance and daydreamed about having a girlfriend ever since I was a kid.