GF will get extremely depressed/suicidal after my CTB. Is there anything you would do to make others feel better?

[life-eternal]

Title. I hate the fact that my GF is very very sensitive and already on the border of Depression. My CTB will crush her I believe, and thinking about it makes me feel terrible and believe I will be ruining her life if I do it. Is there anything you would do to your partner to make them understand your decision as to not completely ruin their lives?

 

[yive]

Is there anything you would do to make others feel better?

give them the right to die

 

[WornOutLife]

Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do. Those who love us will suffer a lot and it'll take a long time for them to have their wounds healed. (To make matters worse, I think my dad will never recover. That's why I think CTB is a selfish act, we can literally ruin the lives of those who love us but what other option do we have? Keep on suffering in this world?)

However, leaving some videos and notes behind, expressing how much you love them and explaining to them why you decided to leave this world might give some closure and peace. At least that's what I'll do.

 

[RedHarlequin]

Id Write a letter telling her it's not her Raoul and why you decided to ctb

 

[Charaltontin]

There's nothing you can do to make then except it, I've tried and she still won't expect it and won't let me...I still want to but if she's really fighting for me then I should to...

 

[LunarPyotr]

If you're planning on writing a goodbye letter, then maybe say something like "it's not your fault" or "don't blame yourself for my choice" or something similar.
I'm not sure but maybe this could somewhat be helpful so that she doesn't think that she treated you badly and that's why you decided to ctb..

 

[Bergamot]

Mine probably will get extremely happy and very comfort to lose forever a garbage like me, that's why I fortunately I don't need to think about her when I CTB, if I'm now a nothing for her, she don't care about me so when I ctb for her is only a win not a lose.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I really don't know how my ex would react. Rightnow we are not even speaking. But, if I do....it might very well push her over the edge. If I don't, I have to live a life with absolutely zero goals or motivation to make any in pure misery until I die from whatever. Alone. Also,there's my Dad to consider. That would likely kill him or he might even ctb too. Ugh. My very existence is a fucking burden to even those I love!

 

[TowerUpright]

The one thing I tried to do is REALLY research out how to make CTB look like an accident or something else not related to suicide.

I found one method and tried it. It just turned out that SI kicked in and, if I was a bit stronger, I could have done it. But it was pretty painful and won't go that route again.

I'm at a point where if I can actually CTB, Ill just have to be content that I won't know what happens afterwards. And not ponder the What Ifs.

 

[myopybyproxy]

I am new to this terminology - 'catch the bus' - why do we use euphemisms here? I thought we were past the bullshit.

That aside, I try to avoid forming new connections and limit my interaction with people I already know. When I can I make myself an absolute nightmare to be around so that they may feel better when I am gone. It is difficult to fight the desire for solidarity and companionship. But I cannot risk interference - and I'd rather not contribute to someone else's downward spiral if I can help it. If anything, they can come to that conclusion rationally on their own through critical thinking and careful consideration of all the variables.

I broke up with my partner partly because I knew it would ruin him. I have a strict policy now - no relationships. The loneliness is killing me but I will be too so not like the distinction makes much difference.

 

[Niko66]

This is a foreign concept for me, never had a partner, probably never will but wouldn't it make a lot of sense to break up with them a while before you CTB if you really want to save them some pain? Open question not necessarily to OP only.

 

[Ta555]

This is a foreign concept for me, never had a partner, probably never will but wouldn't it make a lot of sense to break up with them a while before you CTB if you really want to save them some pain? Open question not necessarily to OP only.

If you loved someone for a long time their death is still going to hurt a lot even if you're not together anymore :(

 

[Niko66]

If you loved someone for a long time their death is still going to hurt a lot even if you're not together anymore :(

Of course but it just seems to me the most logical way to soften the blow on someone you are with.

It'd be much different to lose one of the most important persons for you, that you expect see daily and that you have come to know as very significant part of your life to someone you haven't seen in a year and have tried to move on from.

 

[little helpers]

as much as the ethos "do no harm" goes, you're still not her therapist. and it's not your fault if you choose to go.

it's my take that it may be nice if y'all can pick a time to sit down and talk about it. I don't think it's entirely comparable to what me and my ex did, but she knows I'm a chronic relapse so we wrote down every possible outcome or impact my active addiction could have, what her boundaries are and how far I can accept her interventions to go, and when/how we can back out before one person burns out.

we agreed that only accidental ODs be reversed. if I make it clear it's intentional, no questions asked. no cops, 911, naloxone, none.

she backed out before the downward spiral. that was a case of effective damage control.

after all I can't deny that your existence may very well be what she finds meaning through or latches onto. but we're to wish the very best for everybody, and it's not impossible for y'all to process why this is in your best interest, and help her transition from this relationship. I think it's worth discussing her suicidality as well. her reasons to die and to live.

devastation is not the same as becomimg fully committed to suicide. if she wants to live, she will. I've had too many friends pass away from overdoses, but, life goes on.

communicate. that's some of the best things people can do for each other. and I wish you the best.

 

[summers]

@life-eternal make it look like an accident. Whilst still hard to deal with, people usually can recover from a loved one dying in a crash or from an od a lot easier than knowing they blew their brains out.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

It's times like this that it helps to be emotionally detached. I can only speak as pertaining to friends (and maybe it shows just how little I care how my death will affect them), but my choice is based on what I feel and what I am lacking, and why I'm unhappy with my life. Having close ties to others is sure to make that more difficult to overcome.

 

[little helpers]

Of course but it just seems to me the most logical way to soften the blow on someone you are with.

It'd be much different to lose one of the most important persons for you, that you expect see daily and that you have come to know as very significant part of your life to someone you haven't seen in a year and have tried to move on from.

it's the timing, really. I totally agree that people die anyways so be ready to take it. everyone will have to confront death and loss. even if they're not ready for it. it's just, OP wishes to go rn, cannot take another day of this, but is afraid that it's bad timing for GF.

so it's funny cuz people don't seem to worry that much if their loved one(s) are currently "mentally stable". I think it goes to prove that deep down, we still have closeted feelings about suicide, believing that said person who will be affected by our suicide doesn't really know what they want.

well if you're not fucking stupid then she's not either. it'd be a struggle for her. but she'd keep on struggling if she wants to. I've yet to seen someone being shot down by the devastation of loss when life is what they wants. I've had my own time where I was as suicidal as I am now, but desperately wanted to live.

it's literal kidnapping if only reason GF is living is cuz of OP. and should this be true and she doesn't wanna die just yet, she'll be the only one who can save herself.