Venting getting over the fear

[asphyxiangel]

how the FUCK do i get over the fear of pulling the trigger?
I have nothing going for me rn. ive been so desperate to just go. i want to so bad. ive come close to it but i get so scared to just do it.
im scared of everything that comes with it.

failing and just hitting enough of my brain to be perma brain damaged but not actually die
what comes after? the afterlife? and also the mess i would leave behind
it would probably end up being my boyfriend to find me and i dont want to do that to him.
leaving my cats behind. im all they know.

i have the gun. i have the bullets. i DONT have the will to live any longer but i also DONT have the guts
so how the fuck do i get over it!!! fuck!!!!

 

[Agon321]

Normal thing.
If CTB were simple, there would be much fewer of us here :).
If it makes you feel any better, I can't bring myself to CTB yet either. I regularly postpone my date with death. I keep having pessimistic thoughts. It's hard to fight them, very hard. I think this decision needs to be matured. If you can wait, wait. In time, maybe you'll be more ready.
We all have this problem

Firearms are a good option for CTB. Of course, you need to have the right caliber and aim well. Good luck.

 

[asphyxiangel]

Firearms are a good option for CTB. Of course, you need to have the right caliber and aim well. Good luck.

Its really the only method i have :') i own a 9mm and have the hollow points. the same and SI is what keeps me from doing it really. i jus dont wanna be paralyzed and brain damaged and live my life like that when its obvious i dont wanna be here anymore yanno?

 

[Z-A]

how the FUCK do i get over the fear of pulling the trigger?
I have nothing going for me rn. ive been so desperate to just go. i want to so bad. ive come close to it but i get so scared to just do it.
im scared of everything that comes with it.

failing and just hitting enough of my brain to be perma brain damaged but not actually die
what comes after? the afterlife? and also the mess i would leave behind
it would probably end up being my boyfriend to find me and i dont want to do that to him.
leaving my cats behind. im all they know.

i have the gun. i have the bullets. i DONT have the will to live any longer but i also DONT have the guts
so how the fuck do i get over it!!! fuck!!!!

I personally wouldn't do it near anyone and/or in a house. The mess that has to be cleaned up, your loved ones finding your dead body will forever traumatise them.

Also, the most successful way to do it is by pointing to the brainstem from inside of your mouth.


Again, better to do it outside in the nature somewhere far but close enough that people will hear the shot and find you afterwards.

This post is for educational purposes and does not encourage suicide in any way.

 

[Agon321]

Its really the only method i have :') i own a 9mm and have the hollow points. the same and SI is what keeps me from doing it really. i jus dont wanna be paralyzed and brain damaged and live my life like that when its obvious i dont wanna be here anymore yanno?

I'm not a gun expert, so unfortunately I can't help. All I know is that you have to shoot at the right point of the head (unfortunately I don't remember exactly which one). This will minimize the chance of failure.

Fear is completely normal.
I don't know what advice I can give you, because I also have this problem. I don't like to recommend stimulants because it is a double-edged sword. But maybe in the end, this is some solution.
SI is our most powerful instinct. By committing CTB, we fight against our nature. It takes a lot of courage.

 

[escape_from_hell]

It is definitely the toughest part. There are those who have survived serious attempts here so they have at least worked up the courage once but it seems like it is still a struggle. They may have good advice though. I think drugs and alcohol have some potential, given it is an amount so that you are just brave enough but not too impaired to mess it up. There is the survival instinct present before you even take such measures though. Fear before you try and dull the fear planting doubts.

The strange thing is, we have all these receptors in the brains, complex pharmacology that can put us all all sorts of moods, instantly cause or stop anxiety and so on...why no drugs that can disable specifically our urge to live? They say SSRI and so on carry such a risk but that is probably preexisting depression. There has to be a drug that just gives one enthusiasm to die? Or is survival instinct present in just so many systems there is no isolating it?

 

[Olisop21.]

how the FUCK do i get over the fear of pulling the trigger?
I have nothing going for me rn. ive been so desperate to just go. i want to so bad. ive come close to it but i get so scared to just do it.
im scared of everything that comes with it.

failing and just hitting enough of my brain to be perma brain damaged but not actually die
what comes after? the afterlife? and also the mess i would leave behind
it would probably end up being my boyfriend to find me and i dont want to do that to him.
leaving my cats behind. im all they know.

i have the gun. i have the bullets. i DONT have the will to live any longer but i also DONT have the guts
so how the fuck do i get over it!!! fuck!!!!

Fear is killing me too. I just want to die and not go through this for another fing minute.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel frustrated being trapped in that situation, but anyway I wish you the best and I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for.

 

[theboy]

I would like to have a gun. on the other hand, I understand you and it is the IS that is holding you back. It's in our genus to survive and really making the decision to ctb is not easy. i hope you find hope and peace.

 

[bac-9271]

I need advice with this too. Every time I think about my life I'm certain I want to die soon. Every time I even start planning details for ctb I almost (sometimes fully) get sent into a panic attack. When I rationally think through things I want to die, but it's this primitive fear that keeps getting the better of me.
My neighbor hung himself with a bed sheet and his family has basically forgotten about him. But I'm still afraid of what would happen if I fail, keep researching better methods, keep worrying about what my family will think.
I want to not be a coward, not be a loser for a single time in my entire life.