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pilotviolin

pilotviolin

Student
Jan 27, 2024
119
does anyone have any stories or experiences with this? i know that i should go out, go somewhere, anywhere to make friends, and i have went out before and it was fine, so i don't know why i'm struggling to get out of the house now, i guess just very low mood. i'm struggling to see anything as worth it, and i know i just have to just do it, but this thought train turns into harsh words and i feel really bad like i don't know like is it bad i cant take tough love even from myself at all i'd rather prove the opposite point and do something destructive or cry. i was going to get a new job after quitting my last, but i am just unwilling to go through it all again until i have some sort of social circle or a friend (i have moved and have no IRL friends currently), but i don't know i'm just struggling, and online interaction, while sometimes nice, isn't helping. i'm just really confused, lonely, and demotivated. i guess i am just asking if anyone has success stories from when they've felt similar, or any out of the box ideas. i know i should "just get on" with things but to be honest i'm struggling to see the point and i'm beginning to rather end it once more, and i feel very guilty for thinking like that and being weak but i don't know, guilt and logic isn't really dissuading me (not that i expect anyone to dissuade me and i really don't want to argue, i just needed to let my feelings out i guess). thank you for taking the time to read, i know i am difficult, and i am sorry for that.
 
slightoverlooked

slightoverlooked

Student
Dec 27, 2023
184
hi im sorry ur going through a hard time rn :((. I dont believe you are difficult and dont worry I think more people than you think go through the same thingšŸ«‚

A story from me:
I isolated for about a year after my ex bestfriend abandoned me. I was very scared to make new friends tbh bc I just believed everyone would abandon me for being who I am.
I think when I started uni I was forced to connect with people and at that place I learned to be social again and how great it is to have good people around you.
But uni wasnt the only place..I also started going to animanga and cosplay conventions where I met sooo many people.
I found a good circle of friends and some of them I would consider very close.

I believe that getting a new job could help you for a kickstart? Is it possible to get help for finding a new job? From an institution or maybe old connections?
But other than that I believe that practicing or picking up a new hobby could help meeting new people.

You are not weakšŸ«‚
 
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ForgottenAgain

ForgottenAgain

On the rollercoaster of sadness
Oct 17, 2023
464
I have the same problem. I have tried making friends using the Bumble BFF app and I forced myself to go out for a whole year. That gave me 1 superficial friendship that I'm now letting die because I can't be arsed to put work into it when I don't see the return that I wanted.

It was easier to make friends while in school or uni. Is there any old friends you could rekindle the friendship with? Otherwise I agree with the previous response about getting a job. I haven't had luck making friends at work but maybe for you it will be different.
 
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F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
216
Are there any volunteering opportunities near you? That could be a way to get out and meet people without the responsibility of a full job.
 
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CozyTime

CozyTime

Death should be a free choice
Feb 16, 2019
53
I 2nd the volunteering suggestion helping others with someone large or small has always helped me and usually gets you good contacts because people are appreciative!

Or atleast lets you meet other likeminded people.
 
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ForgottenTomb

ForgottenTomb

Member
May 26, 2023
72
I'm in the same boat as you! It's difficult to break out of isolation, especially when it's so natural for you. Being social is extra difficult if you don't have education or employment so these two options will help you the most with finding friends. Other possible options are:
- Volunteering
- A club or classes for a hobby
- Organizations against loneliness
- Weekly meetup groups nearby
- Workshops or retreats
- Sports team or league
- Regular religious services (if you are religious)
- Look for people online who are nearby and open for friends
- Sites and apps for looking for friends
- Bars or Pubs
- Events for interests and communties you're interested in
- Random local events

I also recommend looking up how to make small talk to strangers, so that if you are presented with the opportunity to meet someone, you're not clueless on what to say to start the conversation.
 
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Felodese

Felodese

Member
Mar 31, 2024
36
There's an organisation called Fountain House (or Clubhouse International) that serves as a meeting place and support for people with mental health struggles.
They have local clubhouses all over, but mainly in US and Europe.
I know some people who have found going to these places very helpful and rewarding.

 
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