
ClaireBear31
Just... why?
- Jan 18, 2020
- 44
I have been working hard to get things in place. If everything continues to go as planned, my bus will depart within the next month. It is odd because I expected to feel more anxious and to have second thoughts as it got closer, but the very opposite has happened. I feel quite at peace and rather clear-headed. It has allowed me to handle some rather upsetting moments - my brain says, "None of this will matter in a month so just let it go!" and I am able to calmly walk away. My mother called me the other night and I listened to her rant for quite some time, thinking to myself the entire while, "Goodness, she wastes a lot of energy on NOTHING..." Truth be told, I wish I could have always felt so detached and disconnected.
Really one of the few things I have left is to decide whether or not to leave a note and, if I do, what to say. I feel like I should say something but I also feel that no matter what I say, some people will believe whatever they want to believe so what I have to say does not really matter... and if they won't really understand anyway, why bother?
Really one of the few things I have left is to decide whether or not to leave a note and, if I do, what to say. I feel like I should say something but I also feel that no matter what I say, some people will believe whatever they want to believe so what I have to say does not really matter... and if they won't really understand anyway, why bother?