Getting Better or Worse?

[ChaiTea]

For those of you who attempted or have any knowledge on it, I have a question.
I recently purchased sn online and it should be coming in sometime this week. But I was finally able to cry about it after thinking about my best friend of 9 years. Is this a sign of things getting better or worse?
Not a very important question, itd just be nice to know lol. Yes I was finally able to cry after not being able to for years, but it was mainly my mind solidifying my decision to ctb.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that someone crying doesn't necessarily mean that existing is getting worse or is becoming more bearable, I think that after all only you know if existing is getting worse for you or not, nobody can else can experience life in the same way.

 

[exhaustedanonymous]

If crying gave you the motivation to continue, then maybe it could be the potential to get better. If crying was a form of closure and you still want to do it, maybe it's a healthy way to accept the end. Whatever you want to believe, I think

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't know really. I cried when I drafted out my goodbye notes. Not that I really know when/if I'm going by CTB but I thought it best to prepare. It's weird though- I wasn't crying because I felt like I'm going to miss anyone- (I'm not so sure you can feel anything after death) or that I was starting to have second thoughts about my want to do it. It's more that they reminded myself of me when I received goodbye notes after (natural) deaths in the family. I guess I was picturing my friends and family maybe morning me- which is upsetting. I don't want to do that to them. I don't actually know if it will upset them as much as deaths have upset me. We're all pretty distant now. Plus- we can never really know how someone else experiences their life. Still- for me- the tears weren't really about my life and how I was feeling about CTB- it was more imagining the aftermath for them.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I think it's perfectly normal and understandable to cry for oneself upon the realization that a life (yours) may be drawing to a close. CTB is a sad ending to already sad lives.