Venting Gave up completely

[skreewie]

Hi
I've been depressed for a really long time and I considered CTB'ing by hypothermia once, but I doubted I'll die with the current temperatures on my region.
So I've never tried it.

Every day, my situation gets even worsening. I keep having anger issues and stress attacks.
I don't remember being happy for years. My situation is a lost case.
The main problem is, though, this shitty system.
I don't wanna spend my years in college just to work 6-8 in a factory. This whole thing is a slave scheme.
Other than that, I've been pretty lonely.

I've been thinking of CTB'ing by a high speed train, will do a deep research on where train speeds up and which location is the best. It says on the web that the trains can go up to 250kmh(160mph) on the railway that I can go.
Why I've chosen the train option is because neither I can buy a gun or can get SN, I'm sure that this'll be a fast and painless way to go.
I got hit by a car when I was young, and I nearly felt nothing tbh. I blacked out immediately after the impact but I saw a slight blurred vision of me flying into the air for a millisecond, then I found myself on the ground once I woke up, with a cracked knee.
If I felt nearly nothing getting hit by a car in a city, I'd probably feel nothing with a train.
Just gotta plan and wait for the right time. Even imagining the scenario gets me excited.

 

[ShonenRider96]

Well keep in mind the trauma you will inflict on the train operator, thats all i will say. Of course with any CTB someone will find you and will cause them trauma but with this, the person will feel like its their fault and feel that THEY killed you.
Just food for thought.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck in your plans, I envy those with the courage for that method and I understand why you'd feel relieved at the thought of being permanently free from this dreadful existence.

 

[skreewie]

Well keep in mind the trauma you will inflict on the train operator, the person will feel like its their fault and feel that THEY killed you.

You're absolutely right, but really there's nothing I can do.
I'm too much of a pussy to try other methods, and poor too.
So this is my only ticket to escape this hell.

I wish you the best of luck in your plans, I envy those with the courage for that method and I understand why you'd feel relieved at the thought of being permanently free from this dreadful existence.

Thank you, and yeah. Finally entering the darkness and silence. What I couldn't have for years.