Discussion Gathering items for CTB and effect on mindset

[alonely]

For those that have everything they need to CTB, what effect, if any, did it have on your thoughts about CTB? Did it make you feel closer to CTB or more likely to CTB soon, or more likely to act inpulsively? Did it have the opposite effect and make you more calm and at peace knowing that it is there for you when/if you need it?

For those who don't have their items to CTB, is any of the reason for it fear that you would act impulsively or more likely to CTB, so you didn't want to have the items on hand because maybe you still had some hope?

It would be pretty straightforward to gather the items I would need for a few of my possible methods, but I'm not sure what effect that would have on me mentally. I feel like it would ease my mind to have it, but also afraid that it would make me way more likely to act impulsively rather than a well-thought-out plan and a sound mind when I am really ready. Wondering what others think.

 

[Catchingdabus27]

For those that have everything they need to CTB, what effect, if any, did it have on your thoughts about CTB? Did it make you feel closer to CTB or more likely to CTB soon, or more likely to act inpulsively? Did it have the opposite effect amd make you more calm and at peace knowing that it is there for you when/if you need it?

For those who don't have their items to CTB, is any of the reason for it fear that you would act impulsively or more likely to CTB, so you didn't want to have the items on hand because maybe you still had some hope?

It would be pretty straightforward to gather the items I would need for a few of my possible methods, but I'm not sure what effect that would have on me mentally. I feel like it would ease my mind to have it, but also afraid that it would make me way more likely to act impulsively rather than a well-thought-out plan and a sound mind when I am really ready. Wondering what others think.

I've personally been holding off on getting the items bc I was wanting to keep up some hope and not wanting to have such access to it. In case of impulsively doing it buttt I think.theres also a part of me that is very certain I want to die but the part of me that wants to live isn't so certain soo I've been doing my own "suicide prevention".

I'm still not sure about getting all the things together for my method but becoming more motivated to do so.

Not sure I see much merit in keeping myself alive tbh. But bc I'm not sure I'm especially not sure about dying...

I feel like if I had my method I'd be more likely to kill myself vs if I didn't. I don't think I'm one of those people that are going to find just having the method extends my life.

 

[Worndown]

From earlier conversations, people seem to feel calmer after getting their supplies. It does not mean they used them. Just having the method secured allowed them to focus on other matters.

 

[Huggs]

These are good questions.
For me it's not fear so much as I'm pretty much decided on my method but it involves restricted items and that's the real block.
I've sat on this for many years and don't feel like I'd act impulsively.

 

[alonely]

Just having the method secured allowed them to focus on other matters.

this sounds like it would be very helpful actually. maybe then i could do more than just research my methods and be on sasu all day