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maniac116

maniac116

My own worst enemy๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ’”
Aug 10, 2024
1,854
I tried to kill myself by hanging with a bungee cord...
I kept almost dying.
My wife ran off with my best friend....
I still miss him! ๐Ÿ˜”
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Archangel
Jul 29, 2021
5,649
i have a joke about depression, but it always gets a bad reaction.
 
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Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to defenestrate myself
Oct 25, 2020
1,553
I love also memes
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
5,166
If you remove the "e" and "h" from the word "earth" and put an "f" in front of it you get fart.


Calm down liberals, it's just dark humour.
 
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Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,207
Funny
This was before the attempt. Is this dark enough? lol
 
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maniac116

maniac116

My own worst enemy๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ’”
Aug 10, 2024
1,854
Last edited:
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UnrulyNightmare

UnrulyNightmare

Wanderer
Jul 3, 2024
393
Livelaughtoasterbath 1
Can't help but loving it ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜…
 
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maniac116

maniac116

My own worst enemy๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ’”
Aug 10, 2024
1,854
An author tells his friend "I'm thinking of killing off the main character in the book I'm writing".
His friend asks "what type of book is it?"......
"It's an autobiography"๐Ÿคช
 
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UnrulyNightmare

UnrulyNightmare

Wanderer
Jul 3, 2024
393
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.
You need a parachute if you want to go skydiving twice
 
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Demian

Demian

Experienced
Mar 25, 2024
245
The Last Resort organization, promoter of the assisted suicide capsule, has a record of zero complaints from its clients.
 
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maniac116

maniac116

My own worst enemy๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ’”
Aug 10, 2024
1,854
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

Because they won't stop to ask for directions
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
10,834
Love this one from SNL :

SNL, Michael Che reported a 118-year-old nun had passed and the cause of death was listed as 'answered prayers.'

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
 
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UnrulyNightmare

UnrulyNightmare

Wanderer
Jul 3, 2024
393
Ducttape. It can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.
 
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UnrulyNightmare

UnrulyNightmare

Wanderer
Jul 3, 2024
393
Let's keep the thread going ๐Ÿ˜

The guy who stole my diary died.
My thoughts are with his family.
 
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maniac116

maniac116

My own worst enemy๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ’”
Aug 10, 2024
1,854
Mom told me to stop telling suicide jokes...
I told her "don't worry mom. Suicide is the last thing I would do"

Suicide is considered wrong by some people but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkor!" its a failed stunt๐Ÿ˜

I want to be a Christmas ornament because I would always be hanging๐Ÿคฃ
 
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UnrulyNightmare

UnrulyNightmare

Wanderer
Jul 3, 2024
393
I told my psychiatrist that I'd been hearing voices. He told me that I don't have a psychiatrist.

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
10,834
Family Guy:

Stewie:

Forecast for tomorrow....
A few sprinkles of genius, with a chance of DOOM ! ๐Ÿ˜
 
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maniac116

maniac116

My own worst enemy๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ’”
Aug 10, 2024
1,854
The more suicidal people there are...
The fewer suicidal people there are ๐Ÿค”
 
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kat6

kat6

a cloud of smoke trying to occupy space
Sep 25, 2024
87
Every time I make a suicide joke irl and people go "that's not funny. It's not a joke", I follow up with "my apologies, I'll see myself out". ๐Ÿ’€
 
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UnrulyNightmare

UnrulyNightmare

Wanderer
Jul 3, 2024
393
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. He's not coming either way.

I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put down.
 
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UnrulyNightmare

UnrulyNightmare

Wanderer
Jul 3, 2024
393
"Just say no to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.
 
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sos

sos

Specialist
Jul 22, 2024
309
this isnt dark enough for me

can someone make a darker than dark jokes thread
 
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heliophobic

heliophobic

Memento Mori
Jan 29, 2024
118
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maniac116

maniac116

My own worst enemy๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ’”
Aug 10, 2024
1,854
Mom told me sister to stop telling suicide jokes...
Sister said " don't worry mom, I'll stop soon". ๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ’”
 
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UnrulyNightmare

UnrulyNightmare

Wanderer
Jul 3, 2024
393
Where did the suicide bomber go after he died?


Everywhere
 
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Lady Laudanum

Lady Laudanum

Healthcare unprofessional
May 9, 2024
885
this isnt dark enough for me

can someone make a darker than dark jokes thread
No because then it'll get shot up by the police for being too dark
 
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sos

sos

Specialist
Jul 22, 2024
309
No because then it'll get shot up by the police for being too dark
press x to doubt

im sure that itll require a darker than the darkest than dark jokes thread
 
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U

user6932

Member
Sep 7, 2024
9
Ever heard of reverse exorcism? When the devil orders the priest to exit the child body.
 
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Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,207
I had to share this one haha
In there
 
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