Venting Fuck.

[sadidiot0328]

I feel so disconnected from everyone. I can't relate to my friends. Whenever I talk to them I feel present physically but not mentally. I feel horrible and I just want to cry but I can't. I have no one I can vent or talk to. I had to calm down my friend having a breakdown last week, he's been supportive but the last thing he needs is stressing over my issues too. My other friends are about 1-2 years younger than me and it would be wrong of me to put such a heavy burden on them. My suicidal thoughts are back but the only thing stopping me is the aftermath. My mother has depression and she had be honest that if I killed myself, she would mostly likely follow suit. She doesn't deserve to die for a decision that I made. One of my pets is a senior dog, so if he was given up he would most likely be put to sleep. Theres other things but I don't want to ramble. The fall out would be too much, so I have to stay. Even if every part of my body is screaming at me to leave.

 

[novi.jpg]

I feel so disconnected from everyone. I can't relate to my friends. Whenever I talk to them I feel present physically but not mentally. I feel horrible and I just want to cry but I can't. I have no one I can vent or talk to. I had to calm down my friend having a breakdown last week, he's been supportive but the last thing he needs is stressing over my issues too. My other friends are about 1-2 years younger than me and it would be wrong of me to put such a heavy burden on them. My suicidal thoughts are back but the only thing stopping me is the aftermath. My mother has depression and she had be honest that if I killed myself, she would mostly likely follow suit. She doesn't deserve to die for a decision that I made. One of my pets is a senior dog, so if he was given up he would most likely be put to sleep. Theres other things but I don't want to ramble. The fall out would be too much, so I have to stay. Even if every part of my body is screaming at me to leave.

I'm genuinely sorry to hear about the pain and disconnection you're feeling. It sounds incredibly difficult to feel so distant from those around you, and to carry such heavy burdens without feeling able to share them.

 

[The Silly Sluggy]

Oh I know how that feels, it's the fuckin worst to feel like all you can do is support but not be supported... if it helps, you can always chat with me if you want or even a bunch of other ppl here would be willing to listen to ya ^^

But yeah, that's a mood. Been there so many times already. Hope you find a better path to tread later on!

 

[Some place nice]

I am truly so very sorry. You shouldn't have to carry such heavy burdens on your shoulders. I wish that you find peace one day, alive or dead.