From Wanting to Die to Choosing to Heal

[Tired_girl555]

Hi everyone. I've visited this site during some of the darkest moments of my life. I've been abandoned by family, hurt by people I trusted, left hungry, violated, and ignored. At times, I didn't think I'd make it another day. I didn't see the point.

But then something unexpected happened. I connected with someone — not someone who could hand me food or shelter, but someone who saw my soul. Someone who reminded me that love can exist beyond the physical world. They've been helping me remember that I still matter, that I still have something to give.

Their support helped me start creating again. I began writing music, building a book based on my life, and dreaming about offering healing to others like me. I want to be a soft place for people to land. I want to help others feel safe again, just like I've been learning to feel.

Right now I'm still in survival mode. I'm homeless, navigating life on a college campus in Charlotte, NC. I have no consistent access to food or hygiene items, no family support, and no bank account. I'm dealing with health issues caused by the limited food I can access. But I'm here. I'm alive. And for the first time in a long time, I want to be.

If you're nearby and want to support someone genuinely trying to rebuild from the bottom up, I'm open to help — warm meals, care packages, safe places to rest, or even just kind words. I'd also love to connect with people who believe in art, softness, mutual care, and growing together.

Thank you for reading. If you're hurting right now, I just want you to know: even if the world has failed you, it doesn't mean you're meant to disappear.

You can follow my journey or reach out here:
https://linktr.ee/Lakaylay

Love,
Lakayla

 

[Redacted24]

Thank you for this wonderful post!

Your courage and strength to persevere through the dark times and not only rediscover your creativity and passion is tremendous. And to come through that with kindness intact is remarkable.

As someone who as a teenager was living solo, homeless, and foraging for food in people's trash, it's truly survival mode. Totally get that.

And the urge to make it all stop permanently, yeah that was an avenue that was hard to not to take.

Forty years later and I'm still trying to push through even though I have a good job and food and decent house in a decent suburb, just another office worker making their daily commute.

But part of me is still that hungry, smelly, rumpled 18 year old evading police patrols just to get sleep at night.

Keep on!
I'm cheering for you!

 

[alwaysalone]

Hi everyone. I've visited this site during some of the darkest moments of my life. I've been abandoned by family, hurt by people I trusted, left hungry, violated, and ignored. At times, I didn't think I'd make it another day. I didn't see the point.

But then something unexpected happened. I connected with someone — not someone who could hand me food or shelter, but someone who saw my soul. Someone who reminded me that love can exist beyond the physical world. They've been helping me remember that I still matter, that I still have something to give.

Their support helped me start creating again. I began writing music, building a book based on my life, and dreaming about offering healing to others like me. I want to be a soft place for people to land. I want to help others feel safe again, just like I've been learning to feel.

Right now I'm still in survival mode. I'm homeless, navigating life on a college campus in Charlotte, NC. I have no consistent access to food or hygiene items, no family support, and no bank account. I'm dealing with health issues caused by the limited food I can access. But I'm here. I'm alive. And for the first time in a long time, I want to be.

If you're nearby and want to support someone genuinely trying to rebuild from the bottom up, I'm open to help — warm meals, care packages, safe places to rest, or even just kind words. I'd also love to connect with people who believe in art, softness, mutual care, and growing together.

Thank you for reading. If you're hurting right now, I just want you to know: even if the world has failed you, it doesn't mean you're meant to disappear.

You can follow my journey or reach out here:
https://linktr.ee/Lakaylay

Love,
Lakayla

Every college campus has a food bank. Charlotte has multiple

 

[Tired_girl555]

Thank you for this wonderful post!

Your courage and strength to persevere through the dark times and not only rediscover your creativity and passion is tremendous. And to come through that with kindness intact is remarkable.

As someone who as a teenager was living solo, homeless, and foraging for food in people's trash, it's truly survival mode. Totally get that.

And the urge to make it all stop permanently, yeah that was an avenue that was hard to not to take.

Forty years later and I'm still trying to push through even though I have a good job and food and decent house in a decent suburb, just another office worker making their daily commute.

But part of me is still that hungry, smelly, rumpled 18 year old evading police patrols just to get sleep at night.

Keep on!
I'm cheering for you!

Thank you for you reply. I'm sorry you had to go through homeless. I wouldn't wish it on anyone and if you are not in recovery and your still struggling I hope you make a decision that fits what you need not what others think you should do.

Every college campus has a food bank. Charlotte has multiple

I dont attend the college and the nearest church usually only has stale bread in the donation box. The food given to me doesn't meet my dietary restrictions so im always either sick or tired because of the food that is just thrown at homeless people.

Every college campus has a food bank. Charlotte has multiple

 

[Redacted24]

I'm trying! Life has dips and twists. Maybe I'll make it... maybe not.

of the food that is just thrown at homeless people.

Working in the city, I get discouraged and angry when I see the food abandoned on the sidewalk when I'm going in in the morning. I'm not certain but can only imagine it's coming from food given to people in the shelter nearby, based on the packaging and condition it's left in.

I remember being crushed in my heart at seeing an entire cooked turkey, still mostly wrapped in foil, laying on the sidewalk after a big holiday, near a tent encampment.

I still remember the feeling of hunger. It's really hard to see food wasted for me. And that it's donated food... that much worse.

Keep pressing!