Venting Friend with trauma surrounding CTB

[marudekinoumitai]

So I want to CTB. I don't have many responsibilities, and maybe I'm a horrible person, but I'm not too worried about hurting my irl family and the few acquaintances I have. They'll be upset, but I don't feel like I matter all that much, and I'm sure they'll move on.

I'm a lot more worried about my closest friend, who I've never actually met irl. He had a close friend CTB about five years ago and it seems like the experience was very traumatic for him. I can't bring up anything about CTB or my feelings without making him extremely upset, and I think if I actually went through with it, it'd ruin him. I want to end my life, but I don't want to cause so much harm on my way out. Idk what to do I guess.

 

[depresso_expresso03]

As selfish as it may sound, I've managed to come to terms with the fact those closest to me would be hurt. But since we'll ultimately no longer be here, we won't have to witness the trauma or pain they're going through. Not something I want to do, but at this point I don't know what else there is to do.

Someone else will likely have better advice than I do, but in my personal opinion, it's just something that there's no avoiding once you ctb. At least from that point on, you'll be at peace.

 

[Squiddy]

I'm in somewhat of the same boat too and it's one of the reasons I'm still here.

 

[FuneralCry]

The fact is that grief and loss are just an inevitable part of life, and even if suicide upsets other people it doesn't take away the fact that nobody is obligated to continue existing. It's completely a personal decision to decide when to finally leave this hellish world, we all have to die and lose everything someday.

 

[Unlucked]

So I want to CTB. I don't have many responsibilities, and maybe I'm a horrible person, but I'm not too worried about hurting my irl family and the few acquaintances I have. They'll be upset, but I don't feel like I matter all that much, and I'm sure they'll move on.

I'm a lot more worried about my closest friend, who I've never actually met irl. He had a close friend CTB about five years ago and it seems like the experience was very traumatic for him. I can't bring up anything about CTB or my feelings without making him extremely upset, and I think if I actually went through with it, it'd ruin him. I want to end my life, but I don't want to cause so much harm on my way out. Idk what to do I guess.

I think those that want to ctb there will always be those impacted by their death except in rare occasions when someone is truly alone. Does that mean you have to stick around for the sake of that person? I've heard this tale time and time again, I think if that's what can give you purpose and a reason to live then it's better than nothing.

I'm not pro life or anything, I'm going to die soon myself. But I think if you can find a reason to live then live, if breaking your friends heart appalls you to that extent that you feel morally responsible then just use that to live. The saddest lives are those that don't have any reason or purpose.

I think it's good you are still thinking about the impact of your death on others. I've reached far past that point. I already know my family is going to be hurt and my mom just lost her father. For me its not a matter of if it's a matter of when.