For those who survived a suicide attempt: what were your thoughts in that moment, and did you feel regret?

[ikigaimg]

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[Carryline]

I Just felt the worse pain in my life.. abd i do regret the way how i become suicidal but not that I have tried... hipe i will be succesfull with SN ....because if not... then i do not know what i can do

 

[carfemtanyl]

I remember waking up in the morning and just thinking something along the lines of "fuck". Didn't regret trying tho.

 

[Zyntkalla]

I remember waking up in the morning and just thinking something along the lines of "fuck". Didn't regret trying tho.

I would feel the same way. I haven't attempted yet. I'm still working things out.

 

[Arb]

I didn't regret it, but it still traumatized me to survive and become disabled

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I Just felt the worse pain in my life.. abd i do regret the way how i become suicidal but not that I have tried... hipe i will be succesfull with SN ....because if not... then i do not know what i can do

pain from what a method, which method?

 

[Morris1211]

I didn't regret it, but it still traumatized me to survive and become disabled

What was your method?

 

[jazzcat621]

Embarrssment I couldnt follow through. Though better things have come along, a part of me still wishes I followed through.

 

[Forveleth]

No regrets before, during, ot after. Both times I felt calm and ready for death as my consciousness faded. Both times I was pissed when I woke up.

 

[Realog11]

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I had a failed overdose lmao just blacked out thought that was it cause I saw just black woke up vomiting everywhere it was like lots of litres of vomit

 

[Deepdense]

I tried to drown myself once and I was probably thinking something along the lines of "HOLY SHIT! AIR! AIR! AIR!". I didn't realize how much it would hurt. I was pretty confused why I was so panicked in that moment. It's pretty funny thinking about it now.

 

[KattinKai!]

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I was in some much pain, I just wanted it to stop. I cried myself to sleep so much during those times

 

[emptyshells]

I only felt regret in failing. No fear as I went. No "Wait! Stop!" I wasn't sad. I felt excited. I felt relieved to be free.

I only felt regret waking up. And misery. Every time, my life got worse. I'm going to be very careful for my final exit. No mistakes.

 

[LettinGooo]

Lost consciousness within ten - fifteen seconds after an inert gas with helium setup. Woke up on the floor after having fell out of my computer chair unsure after how long with no awareness of what happened after I lost consciousness. In the immediate aftermath I was idk abit out of it but remember apologising to God (not religious) and my mother. Was kinda emotionally detached after the affair tbh and just turned off the helium and crawled into bed for an hour's sleep before a 12 hour shift at work though lol.

The experience itself helped calm down some of the suicidal ideation and I didn't make an attempt after. Still plan to soon but yeah idk.

 

[YourLocalSadGirly]

I tried to do CO method with no benzos and at some point after losing consciousness I woke up again, panicked and got out of my car. My survival instinct was super active or something because I stupidly called emergency services. They made me stay in the psych ward overnight to do intake the next day but I lied about being fine and they let me leave. Mostly afterwards I felt humiliation and shame and guilt for putting my parents through something like that. Next time even if I manage to survive again I'm not calling emergency services it was such a hassle lol.

 

[ceelobling]

I tried hanging myself a few years ago. I stopped cause it hurt, and I didn't know what I was doing. I was a noob at hanging, I didn't do any research beforehand and I didn't even know about this site back then. I just kinda did it on instinct. My neck hurt a ton, it was in a tightened and squeezed state for like two weeks. It hurt to eat or drink anything. I remember laying on my bed those weeks and thinking, "wow, I can't believe I did that." It feels so silly to think about it now, since I know the proper way to hang.

 

[MapleS]

It.. went wrong. Insted of full suspencion that was a partial hanging.
I was like "nope, I'm not ready yet, I wanna try living" and staryed calling for help.
Lost conciousness withing 15 seconds

 

[Carryline]

pain from what a method, which method?

Very stupid attempt, pure caffiene

 

[Xi-Xi]

"Wow... So that's what it's like to be in the brink, huh... It's unfair, why the hell am I alive... at least I'm better prepared for next time... "

 

[tomatriste]

.

each time i admit i was happy i survived. the survival instinct we have is strong. though my last attempt (a week or so ago) i'm grieving .. sort of like i cheated death. and is driving me to make my fourth and final (will be successful) attempt soon as i get the money next week to get the tools to do so

 

[inkmage333]

I felt like I was going to finally be free. You can imagine how disappointed I was when I woke up every time...it's what I get for ODing instead of an actual working method I guess

 

[redpenguin]

I was completely numb and detached beforehand. I remember trying to gather the supplies as quickly as I could, although it was as if I was standing behind myself watching it all unfold. I took about 15 full bottles of various psych meds while driving my car. Only a couple things I remember during was saying f-it, throwing each empty bottle out the window while driving, and then a cop asking me if i had been drinking. I guess I crashed my car, and when the cop got there he helped me out of the car and then I passed out. They had to call in a helicopter. I wasn't supposed to survive. The doctors were shocked I lived and didn't have brain damage. Oddly enough, I'm more angered by the fact I have no memory of the helicopter ride..

 

[overthrone]

in the moment, i didn't care. my first and only real attempt wasn't really thought out or planned. i just felt empty, more so going through the motions of committing suicide rather than actually feeling it. afterwords, i was super grateful for life. idrk what happened between then and now that made me do a complete 180, but yeah

 

[kuroshimi]

When I seriously tried hanging, I was in some kind of altered state. But I didn't get through it completely, because I didn't know what am I doing. I'm simply just decided at some point to go with it. No proper preparations, no complex research.

It was very difficult and stressful. I always have some kind of death wish, but without intentions to die. But when it came down to it, I simply gave up. I experienced such a tremendous stress that it wouldn't let me go back then. I couldn't sleep that night thinking not believing that I tried to do it. It was at my birthday btw, so it was very awkward to hear happy birthdays from my parents in the morning.

 

[martyrdom]

My thoughts weren't anything elaborate, just a focus on getting it done and being fast. I didn't regret it at all.

 

[NotSoEnchanted]

I didn't think anything during my last moments when I attempted a few years back. On the way out to the door I was anxious and I felt sad saying goodbye to my dog, but soon I became numb and hell bent on death. I think taking an insane amount of benzos contributed to this.

Recently however, I didn't attempt but was purposefully destructive and had a moment in which I truly thought I was going to die. I drank a ton of alcohol and slit my wrist, and ended up bleeding for hours. Not just a little blood, but steadily pumping hours later type of bleeding. I eventually went to sleep on my floor with my arm wrapped up, and later woke up to puke. I then passed out, smashing my face into the tile floor. When I awoke my body was jerking uncontrollably and I hurt all over as I violently moved. Once the jerking stopped and I gained control of my body, I could barely breathe. It was then I thought I was going to die, and I panicked. I had fleeting thoughts of my dog, and how there was blood everywhere. I was very scared and I scrambled for phone to get help as I didn't want to die. I just wanted my dog. Couldn't find my phone though, and I ended up pulling through. I was so happy when I went into my bedroom and saw my dog curled up on the bed.

 

[logen9inefingers]

I tried ligature strangulation in the bathroom at midnight while my family slept. I felt a strange mix of excitement and relief, thinking I wouldn't have to wake up tomorrow. But I don't think I really "survived" the attempt, because it wasn't working in the first place. I'd heard it had worked for many people, so if there was any regret at all, it was only that I wished I had chosen a better method.

 

[madameviolette]

each time i admit i was happy i survived. the survival instinct we have is strong. though my last attempt (a week or so ago) i'm grieving .. sort of like i cheated death. and is driving me to make my fourth and final (will be successful) attempt soon as i get the money next week to get the tools to do so

I want to use the same method too. Are you looking for a partner by any chance ?

 

[tomatriste]

I want to use the same method too. Are you looking for a partner by any chance ?

yes i am looking for one

 

[madameviolette]

yes i am looking for one

Can you pm me because I can't pm you ?