for those who self harm, did your parents ever find out? if they did, how did they react?

[j3n4829]

for those who self harm, did your parents ever find out? if they did, how did they react?

 

[wastingtime]

my dad told me he could take me outside and shoot me if dying is what i really want. i was 13.
he then sweet talked about how its unacceptable and a sin and i am too good to be doing this to myself..

 

[j3n4829]

my dad told me he could take me outside and shoot me if dying is what i really want. i was 13.
he then sweet talked about how its unacceptable and a sin and i am too good to be doing this to myself..

that must've been so heavy to take in as a 13 year old, i hate parents like that. I really hope your okay and safe now :')

 

[fwompie]

My parents found out when I was around 16 I think, took away some blades, didn't allow to have shaving razors anymore. My mom asked me to show me my cuts, I did, and she responded it wasn't that bad and then never talked about it again.

I didn't do it as a cry for help or for attention but still really hurt that she didn't care. My relationship with her never recovered, just got worse.

 

[BlackMoon]

Fortunately they never found out, they were already threatening me to sent me by force in conversion therapy, so discovering my scars would have convinced them to do it for good.

 

[BurningSita]

When my mother saw my cuts, she laughed at me and started calling me 'Hack and Slash' as a nickname.

 

[j3n4829]

My parents found out when I was around 16 I think, took away some blades, didn't allow to have shaving razors anymore. My mom asked me to show me my cuts, I did, and she responded it wasn't that bad and then never talked about it again.

I didn't do it as a cry for help or for attention but still really hurt that she didn't care. My relationship with her never recovered, just got worse.

invalidation hurts, i hope your okay and safe :)

When my mother saw my cuts, she laughed at me and started calling me 'Hack and Slash' as a nickname.

laughing while your child is suffering?!?!?! that's a horrible thing to do...

 

[Life_and_Death]

idk if she knew before this incident, probably.
anyway, we were heading inside, reaching for the door exposed my wrist and she asked about it in a "joking, i know" way. i looked at her and said cat scratches, in a tone that suggested it wasnt. she just scoffed at me then we went inside.

 

[Jamesun]

They found out when I was about 15, they really gave me a long talk, completely ignoring me, they just told me that I didn't have to do it, and then simply telling me that I didn't have to be sad or stressed if I didn't work or do things like that.

 

[fishlover]

my mother has never found out, and still hasnt. however, my cuts were discovered once by my doctor- and somehow i managed to pass them off as being from my cat... im impressed i got away with it but also a little sad that i was believed so easily, especially when they were very obviously not cat scratches.

 

[M1sT]

I was 16 when I started punching walls hurting my knuckles and cutting myself too deep on my left and right arm so no one could see it.. I took my shirt off one night and my mom and other siblings found out about it. She said that you are too much of a burden and if I keep up like this, she would kill herself. I stopped then with the cutting but still hurt myself by burning and micro cutting. My dad seemed like he cared but deep inside, I could see that he was pretty much unfazed. I was mentally unstable from the start cause of my childhood.

 

[soulessbunny]

Mine have always been in places hidden from view, though remarkably few months ago while having checkup healthcare practitioner saw them but didn't make a comment. One that's visible on my wrist is near watch strap and again family have seen but it doesn't register with them what it really is. Not sure if that's good or bad

 

[StellaSomnus]

My mind engulfed in flames from the utter bullshit that happened on my driving tesy, I took a fresh razor blade and started carving on arms and legs.

My parents asked how it went in the middle of my rapid cutting session, despising my fate, I sent them a photo of my arm with "FUCK OFF" and told them that it is directed to my luck/fate, and they reacted saying they are stressed out and may trigger their high blood pressure.

What followed was mostly silence and minimal contact, as I keep my cuts concealed, and I don't want to hurt anyone but myself.

I wish I could die without them being stressed out too much as well.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

I don't SH anymore at least in the traditional sense. Both parents found out. It was like 10-12 years ago. My father thought I was doing it for attention (even though I did everything I could to hide it) and even told me I was doing it in the wrong direction if I really wanted to die. My mother was worse though. She didn't even seem to react to anything other than the fact I was talking to a stranger on the internet about it. She had went through my computer and read through every message I had on this one social media account. She was actually more angry that I was talking about it then anything else. This was in a private message thread with someone I was close enough to that we sent each other hand written letters through the mail FYI. Wasnt even posting publicly on a forum like I am right now. So yeah. Didn't tell either of them but they found out in their own ways

 

[Seered Doom]

Found out at 14 and they just kept threatening to throw me in the mental hospital. They've done this 20+ times and I basically hospital hopped most of my adolescence so ehh

 

[j3n4829]

They found out when I was about 15, they really gave me a long talk, completely ignoring me, they just told me that I didn't have to do it, and then simply telling me that I didn't have to be sad or stressed if I didn't work or do things like that.

it must've been really hard to have your problems just ignored like that, i hope you're feeling better now

I don't SH anymore at least in the traditional sense. Both parents found out. It was like 10-12 years ago. My father thought I was doing it for attention (even though I did everything I could to hide it) and even told me I was doing it in the wrong direction if I really wanted to die. My mother was worse though. She didn't even seem to react to anything other than the fact I was talking to a stranger on the internet about it. She had went through my computer and read through every message I had on this one social media account. She was actually more angry that I was talking about it then anything else. This was in a private message thread with someone I was close enough to that we sent each other hand written letters through the mail FYI. Wasnt even posting publicly on a forum like I am right now. So yeah. Didn't tell either of them but they found out in their own ways

that must've been horrible!! your suffering being called attention and them basically encouraging your suffering :((, your mother also invading your privacy is also very bad, i hope you're okay and safe now

I was 16 when I started punching walls hurting my knuckles and cutting myself too deep on my left and right arm so no one could see it.. I took my shirt off one night and my mom and other siblings found out about it. She said that you are too much of a burden and if I keep up like this, she would kill herself. I stopped then with the cutting but still hurt myself by burning and micro cutting. My dad seemed like he cared but deep inside, I could see that he was pretty much unfazed. I was mentally unstable from the start cause of my childhood.

getting called a burden because your suffering is not okay, your mother even tried to put the spotlight on herself saying that she would kill herself...you never even gotten a chance to start a proper childhood :( i hope your feeling better and is okay now

 

[Jinxyxx]

They knew about my cuts but ignored them until my teacher found out. They still didnt care but i had to go through shit because my teacher had ideas on how to help me which were actually harmful and the situation at home became so much worse because I "humiliated my family".

 

[Grave]

My parents found out when I was about 12, I still do it now years later - though it has escalated to an extreme degree.

At the time they just asked to see my arms and expressed sadness and embarrassment that their own child had done this to himself.

Nowadays, they ask me about it occasionally and say they wish I didn't do it, or that I did it less severely. Overall they just express tones of disappointment in me that I do it.

 

[hamermaster8]

after they found out I figured out a way to do it without anyone being able to see the scars (i did it to my mouth).

 

[tiger b]

I find this thread truly disgusting - and no, not about the cutting, not at all, but the reactions of those that are actually supposed to care. I get that many aren't equipped to deal with the situation, but surely they could find a way to put their feelings second behind that of their child. Best wishes to you all. Fucking stupid world.

 

[passivethought121]

I told my mom this obviously shitty lie about a glass accident while volunteering. As in broken glass cut my stomach multiple times. She just told me I can't volunteer anymore. It was probably for the better as she often says she'd kick out her kids if they were cutting or arguing

 

[Smelly_ballz]

They found out by accident by finding the blades. They actually found them multiple times and did nothing. They asked about them and I refused to tell them anything, which ended in yelling and me just going back to my room. This happened many times. My partner told them about it and they never did anything after that either. They saw my cuts and I saw it was from the cat and all they said was 'no it's not.'

 

[waRmblanket]

my parents found out when i was 18, my mom just cried, while my dad i noticed was distant with me (my dad has his own history of sh).
i'll say since, we've all just made jokes to cope. i laugh at the jokes, my family has got some good humor tbh, many nicknames lol. i don't mind it at all, i know my mom will cry if she doesn't joke, i'm the same way.

 

[sad_rock]

this thread is so heartbreaking. some of yall deserve better parents- their reactions are wildly innaproppriate

 

[kilowatt]

The first time she found out I was 13-14. She just slapped me and started asking why didn't I think of her or god before hurting myself. I don't remember the entire scene because I was definitely zoning out hoping it's a dream. It's still a lot to take in just thinking about it.

 

[stonerexia]

when my mother found out, she would act like all our family would think she is some kind of monster. she still does this to guilt trip me into "recovery".

 

[suicidesheep31.1]

A teacher found out when I was 16 yold.
She said it to my mother.
My father is just not part of my life.
My mother just did not know how to deal with it and we never spoke about it.
So, I just continued.

 

[notori]

for those who self harm, did your parents ever find out? if they did, how did they react?

I haven't cut in 5 years but when I did it was very severe and almost killed me then. My family was devastated. I was hospitalized very frequently and my mom refused to ever leave my side, the times I stayed over night she would sleep with her head on the side of my hospital bed. The most severe of them all that almost killed me, the sound of her scream still echos in my head, and it's partially the reason I haven't CTB yet. She lost her mom to suicide and then she would loose me too. That was the first time I ever saw my dad cry. He never shows much emotion except anger, and when it first began he told my entire extended family about it, which was extremely frustrating and humiliating because at family gatherings it felt like everyone was babying me, and being excessively nice rather than just normal. Eventually after I almost CTB'd, I was still a minor at that time and I was woken up around 3 in the morning by strangers that my parents had hired to transport me to residential therapy that were trained to restrain me if I tried to escape.I had no idea that I was going to residential up to that point and it led to one of the most traumatic years of my life.

When I didn't harm myself severely, my mental health team at the time would label it as "superficial" which I feel was such a bad approach then because it made me feel like there was some sort of competition to do worse….

My scars are fully healed now and it took me a long time to be able to wear short sleeves and shorts again, but I've found in my experience that you thankfully don't get nearly as many questions about it as you think you will. I was so humiliated at the thought of someone asking me what happened, but in the 2 years now that I've been wearing short sleeves again I've maybe only had 3-4 people ask me about them before. I hope that informations helps anyone who may be struggling with the insecurity of their own scars, I've had a few years of experience living with them now and am happy to talk to anyone about it if you're struggling with the insecurity about your scars like I did in the past <3

 

[PA𝖨𝑁]

they never did, i even had a rope mark on my neck for weeks at the age of 7 from a failed attempt and they didnt even notice.
i think it was for the best

 

[noneed]

I'll punch myself in the face and head but I've never cut myself.
I gave myself two