for those who self harm, did your parents ever find out? if they did, how did they react?

[deadtrace]

First time I was 13, mum saw something on my arm in school, grabbed my wrist, twisted it until it nearly broke and screamed at me.

Second was when I was 23, I got sick of long sleeves in summer so just stopped. They just look at my arm and went "that self yeah" and ignored it afterwards. Made things extremely awkward and they still are.

 

[kittyswift]

when i came home from school when i was 13 my mother was waiting and had searched my room and found my blades and old notes. she took my door away and made me show her my cuts and scars, she said she would be doing weekly checks to see if i was still self harming and forced me into therapy. she then told all her friends and our extended family and said how embarrassing it was for her. i don't think i have ever really forgiven her for the way she reacted

 

[thalasabin]

I actually self harmed multiple times in front of my mom while we would have arguments. I did it as a way to escape the things we were arguing about. I would punch myself in the head very hard. Whenever I did that my mom would tell me to stop and try to hold me back from doing it.

 

[ohyouknow]

Idk how my mother knew that I was cutting (sometime in my teen years), but when a friend was hospitalized for sh, she said to me, "His cuts were actually bad, not like yours." It's possible she had good intentions of keeping me out of a situation I might not like (hospitalization), but it made me feel like my mental and emotional suffering weren't worth treating if they didn't manifest in severe enough sh. 25 years later, I could spend a long time listing the ways in which mental illness has screwed up my life. If I had cut deeper, would I have gotten help when I needed it? It's just absurd. (I know, there is no help, really. But whatever.)

 

[adriandri]

they found out once i became an adult (but still living with them) and initially expressed mild concern with awkward jokes. but mostly made angry 'jokes' ("oh what, you gonna cut yourself about it" if i'm crying, etc) when they were upset with me for a few years afterward. i think they've let it go now, it never comes up.

they were never going to react in a helpful way, i don't know why i let them find out. i genuinely can't remember how it happened now.

 

[NeedAnEscape]

Yes, they found out when I was 13. My mom cried about it. I felt so awful and vulnerable. There was so much tension for the following months, and I learned that the best way to defuse the situation was by masking whatever pain I felt. I stopped for their sake, but I have continuous urges.

 

[Annon100]

My dad saw my cuts when I was like 14 he just hid all the razor blades (did literally nothing I knew where he hid them and had some hidden in my room anyway) and that's all he did

Also not a parent but when I was 17 I was talking to this guy and when I told him I cut myself he asked if I was bleeding out and when I said no he responded with "so you didn't cut properly" which rlly fucked me up for a while

 

[rhysion]

my mom didn't understand, and was also mad at me while being distressed because she did everything she could to keep me from hurt (that she knew of) and out of danger and here i was, hurting myself. dad didn't know what to do, asked on 'wouldn't exercise work for pain' and offered if i felt like it again to harm him instead, because 'thats what it felt like to him'. mentioned even he had a lot of thoughts about ctb but didn't act on them. i shut down, told them i was stressed with school but I would be fine, really. lost my door privileges, had to do 'body checks' until i pointed out it was uncomfy for me that they were looking at me naked, even if it wasn't for an ick reason. had to attend extra church and had 'evil spirits' prayed out of me.. was basically forced to. lost access to sewing kit, scissors, they hid their shaving razors. i continued to sh because those weren't my tools of choice and in fact their reaction fed my self loathing like oxygen to a fire and just made sure whatever i did and when i made my own tools that id never think of going to them for anything mental health related or for anything i was sensitive about.

 

[hellispink]

They ignored it . They always ignore everything i do as they dont care about existence. They have and see everyday my huge scars. I appreciate them not caring though that way i am not questioned or asking stupid questions as to why, you know those typical questions people do regarding sharm

 

[this_is_it]

they took my phone for 6 months and let me have no contact with any of my friends or anyone who could comfort or help me. they also took me to a counselor that they told me was a therapist and had her tell them everything i said while i was in there

 

[trashhologram]

It was over a decade ago so my memory is kinda fuzzy but my mom asked me if I cut myself and I couldn't deny it because it was obvious. She and I had a talk, she was sad but didn't blame me on anything.

 

[Bunni'sLullaby]

for those who self harm, did your parents ever find out? if they did, how did they react?

After about 1-2 years, I went to a doctor about self-harming (considering I was doing it everywhere: arms, legs, wrists, chest, hips, finger tips--anywhere hide-able, really). I was about 15 or 16 years old, after years of dealing with depression. They went to my parents, telling them how I needed to see a therapist and they needed to watch me take my medication because I begun self-dosing in addition to an eating disorder. They recommended a suicide crisis hotline. My father got pissed, yelled at me about what I said to them. Honestly, the health professional's response was how my "skin healed quickly" and I saw a different doctor ever since that. Years later, my dad made a comment about how I "quit" doing that "stupid shit" even though I didn't; essentially admitting to knowing I did it, but just pretending like it wasn't happening. In sum, we were a "don't talk about, it doesn't exist" family. Even now, I still relapse and have only gotten better about hiding it. Part of me hopes I never go swimming with my family so they don't see my scars.

 

[ElectronicPoet]

for those who self harm, did your parents ever find out? if they did, how did they react?

Nothing too crazy. They've found out 2 or 3 times and by the last time they were more annoyed than anything because no matter how much money they sink into trying to better my mental health I never improve. The first time I believe I was taken to my therapist and reffered to the psych ward, which was fine, I actually enjoyed my time. Sharp objects were taken, they were just worried for my safety. Second time they made a therapy appointment and took away sharp stuff again. Third time they just got irritated and made me promise I wouldn't do it again. (I didn't)
They care for me, I know, but I always want to keep cutting. Sucks that I can't just do it without consequence.

 

[worstgirl7716]

The first time i did it my mom cried and said it's the most selfish thing you can ever do. Now, she sees them and sees my razors and just ignores it. I don't even hide it anymore, I'm so tired.

 

[TheShadowKing]

They definitely know I have a bunch of cigarettes burns on my arms but they've never said anything and I hope they never will

 

[Rininu]

When I was 13 my parents finally confronted me about my cuts. I honestly had expected this for a while because I wasn't discreet at all. I remember it being the day before having to go on a hike with my boy scouts troop and it was terrible how they reacted. I tried to block out most of this memory, but here is what I remember. I was chased around the house for about an hour. At one point in time I had ran downstairs and grabbed a pairing knife in case they got too close to me. I put on one of my heavy jackets and pretend to be part of the closet. I locked the bathroom to throw them off. And after they found me, they punished me for hiding. I was yelled at and crying because of that. I still had to go on the hike the next day

 

[HollowDrop]

I've always kept my self harm marks on my arms visible in plain sight, no one says anything about them. My family probably doesn't want to bring them up knowing what's done is done and they know of my heavy depression. They are quite considerate, not having to hide them feels nice and if the scars freak out anyone else out there then good, they can go away.

 

[whats_the_point]

When my mother saw my cuts, she laughed at me and started calling me 'Hack and Slash' as a nickname.

Wow, she sounds like a lovely woman! Her and my mother would be best friends.