for those who are having suicidal or thinking of committing suicide

[shura]

I agree with this philosophy. The outcome, for me, is the decade and large chunk of change that I have spent waiting in vain for that moment where things seem better, where life becomes something wonderful that I can grow to appreciate. I've only wasted time and complicated matters to the point where I have to stick around. Maybe it will get better but there's also a big possibility that it won't. Part of recovering for me is learning to be okay with being this way for the rest of my life.

I often ask myself what the point of going on like this is. Nobody ever really has an answer for me. The people that pressured me to stick around after I failed my attempt definitely don't; more than ten years later I'm still miserable and suffering. But they got their wish, at least I'm still around to laugh with and tell jokes from time to time. Is that it? Being alive for others' peace of mind, is that why I lived? Years later and that is the pathetic case.

I understand what you and the OP are trying to say. I'm not going to knock anyone for their views of life as all of our experiences are different, so please don't take this as me knocking you or attacking you for having this view. Generally, I think it's wonderful when people want to/do recover and it's great that you've found a reason to keep living (saying this with sincerity, I read your other post and I really am happy that you came out of your darkness with a positive outlook and the strength to go on). If someone wants to give life another chance, I'm forever in support of that. I just wanted to offer the opposite perspective. Waiting, hoping, "making the most" of things— many people are doing that unsuccessfully. So why wouldn't someone in a different situation than us want to cut it short? Why would they stick around for more challenges and complications? Why should they want to give life a chance when life has barely given them the same grace?

Life is really unfair, so I would definitely call it a game. One that we're playing on different settings, in different servers, with different debuffs that either will or will not go away. But if it's one you dislike, one that is too difficult for you to play and derive any enjoyment out of it, one that makes you feel horrible, and you have the option of quitting it after attempting it for so many years in so many ways, why not take it?

Our only options, actually, are to play or quit; we can't reset it, we can't pause it, we can't mod or enhance it very much. A lot of people don't have the strength to continue under the conditions, and that's okay too. Quitting the game also takes a lot of strength. Nobody's wrong for deciding to continue and nobody is wrong for putting their controllers down, either.

Welcome to the forum though, you seem like a kind person and I hope that you can help anyone who is willing to let you in.

Thank you and I really hope so too :)
Life truly is unfair for most. But the way I see it, you can cheat life itself by pushing through whatever it throws at you. You have conquered life itself in that way. I don't know if someone is gonna agree to my understanding, but it's the way I've been thinking.

 

[saddavyd]

I am not in a good place, having made what is now feeling like a terrible mistake, perhaps the worst of my life. The pain is awful. Every day.

If life is a game, there is an argument for playing it until the end, which is the only point you can judge if you have 'won'.

Things can happen when you are continuing to play and your luck can change. It might improve.

But if you quit playing, then nothing more can happen. The game ends there.

If the game is going badly and you quit, then you lose.

So why quit when you are losing. You lose. And if you can't see it getting any worse, it can only get better.

Is this an argument to play on?

Sure it's painful, but carrying on is the only way to create a better ending. It takes a lot of mental strength though.

What do you think?

since it is a game why not just live

Because it finally becomes too painful to bear and the choice doesn't seem like a choice any more, you just can't carry on. At that point sometimes ending the game is too hard too, That's where I am now. I've tried and just can't do it. Maybe I'll be grateful for that one day. But now, I'm just grateful for sleep.

 

[WeirdTheaterKid02]

Life is a horrible game, and I don't like playing bad games. The only way to win is to not play.

I definitely feel that a lot. Sometimes I will remind myself that I don't have to play and I can just do what makes me happy. Some people got really shit deals but if I'm doing something that makes me happy til i die, no matter how soon that is, I still know I'm going to die doing something that brings me joy. So until the day comes where I know I'm going to die happy I'm not gonna fucking die until then. Dying miserable is a lie that society tells you to keep you submissive.

 

[carnivalforone]

ik exactly what you mean this is my philosophy as well. Im set on ctb'ing i know how id do it how much it would cost i know id have a peaceful and guaranteed exit ticket. and now im essentially free(as long as i have 40$). i got past accepting my death so now i am free my chains are unbound im unshackled i can put my all into dreams and hopes and worse comes to worse i simply ctb. I might as well do my best and bear it a little longer since worst case scenario i simply go with my original plan. theres a lot of narrow minded people on this thread but i guess theres levels of awareness.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

I have considered the idea that "if life is just a game why not keep playing" but what I truly desire is time sensitive and by the time I'd find what I want/need it will be too late. I destroyed my life. I made every wrong decision and it's too late to make the right ones. It's better this way. To take myself out of the game. If someone is crazy enough to want to deal with me then they deserve much better. What I want and what I deserve are two different things. Its better if I just go away. I've accrued such bad karma I do not deserve to be happy. I honestly should just end. As soon as possible. I'd love to play the game but I am a lost cause. There is nothing to gain and everything to lose. I can only hurt the people I care about. I am nothing valuable. I wish I had to ability to end it. Hopefully sometime soon I will

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

You can't endlessly give yourself new chances.
Over the past 5 years, I have given myself many chances and promises. I failed them. I betrayed my essence, my principles. These are sins for which the penalty is death. I hate myself for this.
I made too many mistakes.