Discussion For those of you who are isolated, is it forced or voluntary?

[Daxter_87]

In my case, it was sort of a choice I made in order to avoid suffering being caused by everyone (including myself). It's the hedgehog's dilemma, frankly. I don't think there are good options at all. You either prick and get pricked by other people or you freeze to death (I think the hedgehog's dilemma was something like that).

Well, I say that it was a choice, and yes, it was... At least when it comes to friends, because I used to have. Regarding the other type of relationship, the way I see it, it's both voluntary and forced. This is because, even if I wanted to get into that kind of relationship, I probably couldn't. But anyway.

 

[imissmykitten]

forced, but now that i have experienced isolation so much, i think that if i had the choice to make friends in real life, i would likely avoid it.

 

[EternalShore]

You could argue it's voluntary (I could always move somewhere else or theoretically try just a bit harder), but it most certainly feels forced! :(((

 

[Ernest1964]

I choose to stay alone and inside most of the time because when I go out... it's too peopley out there. The fewer relationships I have the more drama free and at peace I am in my life.

 

[spirittheyregone]

I mean, you could argue its voluntary because I keep moving all around the country but. :( I keep trying to make friends and. It feels like nothing ever really works, no matter where I move or how long I stay.

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

Forced
Im in this position because my father threatened the girl i love..

 

[Unending]

Well, I've had so many bad and scarring experiences that I have become extremely adverse to social interaction or going outside. Not saying it was other people's fault entirely but being assaulted and having bad moments one after another has contributed to some pretty impenetrable agoraphobia. I selected other because my circumstances made me this way and the old me didn't want to avoid any living being at all costs (in the majority of cases) but now that I'm like this, it very much is voluntary and is the lesser of two evils.
I don't dislike everyone, I'm just very distrustful and feel strongly that there is not enough to gain to justify the potential losses in the case that I form any new relationships.

 

[dwindlingfirst]

In my case, it was sort of a choice I made in order to avoid suffering being caused by everyone (including myself). It's the hedgehog's dilemma, frankly. I don't think there are good options at all. You either prick and get pricked by other people or you freeze to death (I think the hedgehog's dilemma was something like that).

Well, I say that it was a choice, and yes, it was... At least when it comes to friends, because I used to have. Regarding the other type of relationship, the way I see it, it's both voluntary and forced. This is because, even if I wanted to get into that kind of relationship, I probably couldn't. But anyway.

Forced and voluntary, I don't fit in, I'm a freak, but at the same time I stay away from people, and although I dont want to be lonely I have gotten addicted to loneliness. Fuck this shit

 

[leftdreaming]

Empathy and sensitivity make it hard for me to befriend others. I get hurt too easily so I shut myself inside by my own accord

 

[chillmungo]

Pushed everyone away to get away from one person, who never left me alone and only gained more power by being one of the last people left. Don't do what I did. If there's someone you want to get away from, make yourself connect with as many other people as possible rather than trying to hide. That's how to make them a smaller and smaller part of your world.

 

[(¥)]

forced. i fucked up. now feel fear for society and life. too much exposure.

 

[Lucilius]

I am of no value to people. Part of the landscape.

 

[ggetout33]

Mix of both. I was bullied when I was younger and I became more introverted as a result. I could go out and meet new people but it often times never lasts. So I just kinda sit at home all day. I could try harder but I just don't wanna, everyone already has their own group anyways. Dog eat world, that kinda shit.

 

[hellispink]

Voluntary. People are just not worth it.

 

[babayaga]

entirely voluntary for me, people ask me to hang out and do things with them i just dont want to be around people. it's exhausting and im just so tired of everything.

 

[sheleftme1]

Forced… my ex left me on 3/3 and the situation made me lose my job. So I've been in the house not doing anything. I wish it would just end. I'm seriously not able to deal with this.

 

[anonymous9559]

For me I really enjoy spending time with other people. I would say that I do not want to be alone. However, for some reason whenever I am spending time with somebody, I feel the guilt of wasting their time. I feel like I am not worth the time or effort that others put into friendships. I feel like a bourdon when I should be feeling like a friend. Whenever I ask someone if they actually enjoy spending time with me they usually say they do, but that doesn't really stop me from having this feeling that I'm not gonna be good enough to be anyone's friend. If I do end up playing games with someone, I can just tell them a lie about having the need to go, leave them, then notice that I was gonna be lonely for the rest of the night.
So in short, it is voluntary for me, but it feels short. I try to talk with people but I end up isolating myself and don't notice until it is too late.

 

[Forever Sleep]

This is probably going to get hate and I'm sorry for offending anyone but- other than prison-like circumstances- actually prison or- an overbearing and controlling partner or parent- is it EVER forced?

I mean- there usually is choice involved somewhere... I choose to isolate because it is the more comfortable option for me. I guess you could argue we have been 'forced' to become socially anxious but we COULD try to get over that if we wanted to. (In some cases I would think.)

In my case- the fear of it outweighs what I consider to be the (limited) benefits. I don't think people are reliable for one. They quite often end up letting you down and hurting you more. Plus- if CTB is really on the cards- it seems unfair to bring new people into your life and reacqaint yourself with old friends if you are about to leave them (to my mind.) Plus, I'd say I'm actually naturally a 'loner'. It's kind of rare I feel lonely (thankfully.) Most of the time, I crave to be alone. So for me- it's more voluntary.

 

[FuneralCry]

Of course I would always voluntarily wish to avoid other people. Humans just create more suffering, I think this species is awful in general, it's better to be isolated.

 

[vinikkkk]

Forced due to my looks

 

[SeenMoreThanEnough]

A bit of both, but mostly voluntary. I'm tired of how phony most people are, and how everyone is judged based on superficial qualities. At this point, I feel it's more beneficial to be a misanthropist. One, it protects one's mental health, and two, see one.

 

[SetMeFree11]

can't interact with anyone right now because i'm so depressed as my gf dumped me because i'm a selfish sob - she wss right