For me life is no longer worth living being single at 26

[FireFox]

I have been single all my life and I can no longer cope anymore, I am killing myself when i turn 30 because I am not living in his hell anymore. I really have tried so hard to live and enjoy life, believe me. Post lockdown I have been spending more time outdoors visiting museums, going to parks and recently I plan to do climbing and abseiling this summer but I have do everything myself because I have no friends and no boyfriend.

it's so hard living like this. Women my age who have boyfriends are so lucky they have someone who loves them and all the specialness that comes with relationships. Couples are so lucky so much they take granted. I would absolutely anything to have what they have.

It's hurts so much all my life I have never been a man's special woman. The male rejection has broken me and finally driven me to suicide.

Every guy I met I feel like it's all or nothing especially turning 26 now the pressure to have a boyfriend now ams lose my virginity is finally too much as I can't be single now as I will single forever.

Being single all my life has brought me nothing but absolute pain and misery

 

[FuneralCry]

I think it's better to avoid people personally as you cannot trust and rely on other people and anyway relationships very often just lead to even more problems and suffering, in this world humans certainly are so unnecessarily cruel.

And I don't really think that everyone who is in a relationship is "lucky" because like I mentioned relationships can just lead to more problems, and I just think that nobody who exists here is really lucky as in this world there's unlimited potential to suffer where we are destined for nothing but to be tormented by old age. Anyone can end up in a situation of the most extreme suffering at any moment as long as they exist here and the problem that I have with relationships is that it very often leads to people cruelly forcing life here and just creating more unnecessary pain and torment as a result. I think it's always preferable to be alone, life will always be pain and misery no matter what.

 

[Dead Ghost]

But do you really need other people to live?.. I mean you seem self-sufficient, you go where you want and do what you want, you have a freedom longed for by many people.
I understand, yes, that you have a feeling of loneliness that has taken root very strongly inside you.

Does anyone on this planet really want to be friends with you or share their life with you? Since you said you are 26 and have it planned for 30 at least take a look around here:

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Maybe you can find someone with the same concerns as you and you can help each other get ahead.

//

Pero realment necessites d'altres persones per viure?.. vull dir que sembles autosuficient, vas on vols i fas el que vols, tens una llibertat anhelada per moltes persones.
Entenc, això si, que tens un sentiment de soletat que ha arrelat molt fort dins teu.

De debó ningú d'aquest planeta vol tenir una amistat amb tu o compartir la seva vida amb la teva? Ja que has dit que tens 26 i ho tens planificat per als 30 almenys donat una volta per aquí:

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Potser podràs trobar algú amb les teves mateixes inquietuds i us podeu ajudar mutuament a sortir endavant.

 

[Jezzibell]

being single is easily remedied. Safe Internet dating sites for one. I was in long relationships from about 19 and for the most part they were volatile and both of us were miserable. You cannot make someone happy if you are not happy with yourself. I haven't had anyone in my life for 12 years - since 40. I dont want or need anyone. I don't think your problem is being single - its being unhappy with yourself and maybe lonely? I do miss someone from time to time to help me think through problems. Not romantically.

 

[NumbItAll]

Sorry @FireFox I think everyone deserves to be loved and it is horrible for those of us who desperately crave that but can't find it. I can relate because the pain of being alone kills me every day and makes most activities feel pointless. There may be exceptions but I think humans really need meaningful connections and being deprived of that can be so damaging psychologically. I guess one thing to take solace in is avoiding the toxic nightmares that so many relationships are, which seems to be the other side of this suffering coin.

 

[FireFox]

being single is easily remedied. Safe Internet dating sites for one. I was in long relationships from about 19 and for the most part they were volatile and both of us were miserable. You cannot make someone happy if you are not happy with yourself. I haven't had anyone in my life for 12 years - since 40. I dont want or need anyone. I don't think your problem is being single - its being unhappy with yourself and maybe lonely? I do miss someone from time to time to help me think through problems. Not romantically.

@jessicaX I have spent my entire life doing activities by myself and have lived a life of adventure but its sucks no having a man by my side. All my life I have been that girl then now no guy ever saw as beautiful or something special.

It's hurts never being chosen. It's hurts so much seeing all the women around me getting chosen and seen as something special.

 

[MrDarkness]

@jessicaX I have spent my entire life doing activities by myself and have lived a life of adventure but its sucks no having a man by my side. All my life I have been that girl then now no guy ever saw as beautiful or something special.

It's hurts never being chosen. It's hurts so much seeing all the women around me getting chosen and seen as something special.

I'm sorry your life is like that. I've been alone my whole life, no one ever shown interest me, I've been denied so much that's all I hear in my head. I used to self harm any time I felt feelings toward someone. I am now a husk that can't feel love and get extremely uncomfortable, when love is brought up. I hope you find peace in life or death

 

[FireFox]

I'm sorry your life is like that. I've been alone my whole life, no one ever shown interest me, I've been denied so much that's all I hear in my head. I used to self harm any time I felt feelings toward someone. I am now a husk that can't feel love and get extremely uncomfortable, when love is brought up. I hope you find peace in life or death

@MrDarkness I feel like an outsider amoungst women my age.Most women do not understand how hard, lonely and demoralising it is to go through your entire life being rejected by men, never noticed by men and always being unlucky with men.

These women in relationships or have had boyfriends throughout their lives don't know how lucky they are to have no problems finding a man.

Never having a boyfriend it's hurts I got to experience all those aspects of love, appreciation and being chosen which other women my got to have in their relationships. So much these women who have husbands and boyfriends take for granted.

 

[MeltingBrain]

All my life I have been that girl then now no guy ever saw as beautiful or something special.

Usually Asians (especially south asians) consider white complexion a very attractive beauty trait . Maybe you can look into that group to find a suitable partner ?

 

[MrDarkness]

@MrDarkness I feel like an outsider amoungst women my age.Most women do not understand how hard, lonely and demoralising it is to go through your entire life being rejected by men, never noticed by men and always being unlucky with men.

These women in relationships or have had boyfriends throughout their lives don't know how lucky they are to have no problems finding a man.

Never having a boyfriend it's hurts I got to experience all those aspects of love, appreciation and being chosen which other women my got to have in their relationships. So much these women who have husbands and boyfriends take for granted.

I know the feeling, men can never really relate to how I feel cause I've never been in a relationship, all through junior high and high school, no one's ever said they loved me or had feelings, every time I confessed they look at me like I'm garbage and say sorry and avoid me cause they feel bad for me, I fucking hate it, I just wanna be told someone loves me for who I am. Shits fucked not trying to sound like an incel or anything, but you see this guys who just want to groom women, and just use them for sex, how tf are this people pulling guess I'm too fucking ugly or stupid to try to find genuine love

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Do you think there is a reason you have not been able to find a boyfriend? Are you just not confident around guys or do you have something else you think is holding you back?

 

[DesolateSouls]

I'm right there with you. I'm 27 and I've been in a few short lived "relationships" a while ago but I've never been in an actual LTR. At our age it does feel like we're behind the curve and genuinely facing the idea of being alone forever. Personally I don't believe life is worth living alone so I'm going to CTB soon. I wish you the best with your plans, I plan to CTB as soon as I can get my hands on some SN and a potent antiemetic. Already tried partial-hanging a few times but SI are just too strong.

 

[alrondlondo]

Yes, your condition is very familiar
Usually this happens in men, for a woman there was always a partner, but I think that the problem is solvable, it just happens that a suitable person does not come across for an extremely long time. Not everyone is lucky with this right away. I think you should try out with someone like you who has the same problems with women or something like that. You should not look for a handsome 10/10 and suffer that he refused you

 

[dofogry]

I think the problem is not the figure of a boyfriend but the loneliness.

My boyfriend left me about a month ago. Yes it was a HUGE pain but if i had friends it would have been less painful. I dont have anyone to talk to, i go to parties by myself, no one to watch movies with me... All of this is worse than not having a boyfriend.

If i had at least two friends it would be so much more easier to handle all this agony.

 

[Forever Sleep]

@MrDarkness I feel like an outsider amoungst women my age.Most women do not understand how hard, lonely and demoralising it is to go through your entire life being rejected by men, never noticed by men and always being unlucky with men.

These women in relationships or have had boyfriends throughout their lives don't know how lucky they are to have no problems finding a man.

Never having a boyfriend it's hurts I got to experience all those aspects of love, appreciation and being chosen which other women my got to have in their relationships. So much these women who have husbands and boyfriends take for granted.

Not that it will probably help but I expect you are actually not alone- in being alone. There will be plenty of women your age who don't have a partner. I'm 43 and have never had a relationship and yes- at your age- I was desperate to be in love. I think we just tend to fixate that everyone has someone apart from us. I know that doesn't really help though- and I'm sorry.

It's good that you do all those activities but- do you belong to any social groups? I do definitely feel like relationships of all kinds need effort. They may not just come to you. I don't really know- I've always been a really socially anxious/ shy person but it strikes me that if friendship/ a relationship is what you desperately crave- you will need to put yourself in social situations.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I am ok most of the time, but every now and then I get episodes of soul-crushing depression.
I've had very few relationships, and none of them were meaningful, and therefore didn't last long.
I feel that being in a relationship just sets you up to experience future suffering. I therefore prefer to be alone, despite experiencing loneliness.
I'm sorry you are going through this and completely understand you. Maybe try a dating site just for the hell of it ?
If you are going to CTB then you have nothing to lose by giving it a try.
Who knows: you may get lucky and meet someone special.

 

[SetMeFree11]

I completely understand how you are feeling, but at 26 years old you still have planty of time to find a partner.
Don't compare youself to other people, everyone has their own rythem in life.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Not that it will probably help but I expect you are actually not alone- in being alone. There will be plenty of women your age who don't have a partner. I'm 43 and have never had a relationship and yes- at your age- I was desperate to be in love. I think we just tend to fixate that everyone has someone apart from us. I know that doesn't really help though- and I'm sorry.

It's good that you do all those activities but- do you belong to any social groups? I do definitely feel like relationships of all kinds need effort. They may not just come to you. I don't really know- I've always been a really socially anxious/ shy person but it strikes me that if friendship/ a relationship is what you desperately crave- you will need to put yourself in social situations.

Someone has definitely missed out on being in a relationship with someone like you Forever sleep.
You are one of the most intelligent, insightful, caring and compassionate people out there in this horrid world.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Someone has definitely missed out on being in a relationship with someone like you Forever sleep.
You are one of the most intelligent, insightful, caring and compassionate people out there in this horrid world.

Thank you so much- you made me cry. In a grateful way- if that makes sense. Honestly- that meant a lot.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Thank you so much- you made me cry. In a grateful way- if that makes sense. Honestly- that meant a lot.

I meant every single word of it.
I also feel a bit tearful knowing that it made you tearful also, but in a good way because it meant a lot to you.
I guess we are both just big softies at heart.

 

[Cthelll’s_tENDrils]

I have been single all my life and I can no longer cope anymore, I am killing myself when i turn 30 because I am not living in his hell anymore. I really have tried so hard to live and enjoy life, believe me. Post lockdown I have been spending more time outdoors visiting museums, going to parks and recently I plan to do climbing and abseiling this summer but I have do everything myself because I have no friends and no boyfriend.

it's so hard living like this. Women my age who have boyfriends are so lucky they have someone who loves them and all the specialness that comes with relationships. Couples are so lucky so much they take granted. I would absolutely anything to have what they have.

It's hurts so much all my life I have never been a man's special woman. The male rejection has broken me and finally driven me to suicide.

Every guy I met I feel like it's all or nothing especially turning 26 now the pressure to have a boyfriend now ams lose my virginity is finally too much as I can't be single now as I will single forever.

Being single all my life has brought me nothing but absolute pain and misery

I'm 32 and am in the same boat as you, but as a man. My conditions are a bit different because I have personality issues that made me unconsciously and sometimes consciously avoid relationships and even sexual contact for fear that I couldn't handle it. Consequently I've turned down a bunch of opportunities and squandered my chances it feels like. I'm scared I can't learn how now. I'm also scared that whatever made me attractive is fading and I'll have nothing to offer soon or now. But once I hit a certain point the fear of ridicule and judgement kept me from trying to have a relationship and sex life even when I began to want it.

 

[Eternal Oblivion]

I know exacly what you mean. I also always had an adventures personality and I fucking hated that I had to do everything always by myself. I know the feeling, the empty feeling that comes with not having someone that you can share your most intimate thoughts and moments. It's terrible to be alone, but it's less terrible if you had someone for a period of time, but not having anyone ever is worst. Not to mention you start to feel ashamed if you don't get a partner when everyone in your circle has one. It gets worst and worst.

If it brights you up, I found my partner when I was 30 and she was 31, and it has been the best 3 years of my life. I don't think it's too late for you.

 

[Dead Ghost]

I'm 45 years old, I've never been in a relationship either, and I fell in love with someone for the first time almost two years ago, but it was a friendship that excited only me (not that I is precisely a good match with so many health problems I have).

I still have the same feelings for her despite not having any contact since last year. But you know what I was most afraid of, that what I felt would be reciprocated by her, because I can't stand being close to other people or physical contact... it would have been disastrous, doomed to failure and with great suffering for both of us.

I recently tried to make friends on dating websites... but I am so clumsy and so fearful that I wrote in the profile that I wanted an anonymous friendship, exclusively online and only through the site's own messaging. It was then when reading the other profiles that I realized that I was doing nothing there, that I was a nuisance, since the other people wanted someone to share their life with and build a life together....
... but I'm pretty decrepit, weird, immature, sick, I wasn't up to it and I unsubscribed.

There's a great song about it (especially when I think about her):
Radiohead - Creep (Best live performance)


//

Jo tinc 45 anys, tampoc he tingut mai cap relació de parella, i això que em vaig enamorar d'una persona per primera vegada fa gairebé dos anys, però era una amistat que només em feia il·lusió a mi (no es que jo sigui precisamente un bon partit amb tants problemes de salut que tinc).

Jo segueixo amb els mateixos sentiments cap a ella tot i no tenir cap contacte desde l'any passat. Però sabeu que és el que em feia més por de tot, que el que jo sentía fos correspost per part seva, perquè jo no soporto estar a la vora d'altres persones ni el contacte físic... hagués estat desastrós, abocat al fracàs i amb un gran patiment per a tots dos.

Fa poc vaig intentar fer amistats a webs de cites.. però sóc tant pocatraça i tant poruc que vaig escriure al perfil que volía una amistat anònima, exclusivament online i només a través de la missatgería própia del lloc. Va ser llavors quan al llegir els altres perfils em vaig adonar que jo no hi feia res allà, que era un destorb, ja que les altres persones volien algú amb qui compartir la seva vida i construïr una vida junts...
... però jo sóc bastant decrèpit, estrany, immadur, malalt, no estava a l'alçada i em vaig donar de baixa.

Hi ha una cançó molt bona sobre això mateix (sobretot quan penso en ella):
Radiohead - Creep (Best live performance)

 

[OceanBlue]

Women my age who have boyfriends are so lucky they have someone who loves them and all the specialness that comes with relationships.

It seems like you want a fairy tale, which rarely happens irl. We are socialized into romanticizing these relationships and pressured into seeking them, especially as girls, but they always bring another set of problems and often result in awful things like domestic violence. Being single and child-free is freedom, but for women it's still nearly a crime since our most valuable role according to the patriarchy is to be a wife and a mother.

 

[SexyIncél]

It seems like you want a fairy tale, which rarely happens irl. We are socialized into romanticizing these relationships and pressured into seeking them, especially as girls, but they always bring another set of problems and often result in awful things like domestic violence.

Hmm, I think we need different social institutions where one can find love & belonging. With institutional memory

Families are rolling the dice, and romantic couples are teams with poorly trained co-founders

 

[_nohope_]

I probably doesn't help you but I am sure there are tons of men who would love to have you as their partner. Don't give up yet.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I'm 45 years old, I've never been in a relationship either, and I fell in love with someone for the first time almost two years ago, but it was a friendship that excited only me (not that I is precisely a good match with so many health problems I have).

I still have the same feelings for her despite not having any contact since last year. But you know what I was most afraid of, that what I felt would be reciprocated by her, because I can't stand being close to other people or physical contact... it would have been disastrous, doomed to failure and with great suffering for both of us.

I recently tried to make friends on dating websites... but I am so clumsy and so fearful that I wrote in the profile that I wanted an anonymous friendship, exclusively online and only through the site's own messaging. It was then when reading the other profiles that I realized that I was doing nothing there, that I was a nuisance, since the other people wanted someone to share their life with and build a life together....
... but I'm pretty decrepit, weird, immature, sick, I wasn't up to it and I unsubscribed.

There's a great song about it (especially when I think about her):
Radiohead - Creep (Best live performance)


//

Jo tinc 45 anys, tampoc he tingut mai cap relació de parella, i això que em vaig enamorar d'una persona per primera vegada fa gairebé dos anys, però era una amistat que només em feia il·lusió a mi (no es que jo sigui precisamente un bon partit amb tants problemes de salut que tinc).

Jo segueixo amb els mateixos sentiments cap a ella tot i no tenir cap contacte desde l'any passat. Però sabeu que és el que em feia més por de tot, que el que jo sentía fos correspost per part seva, perquè jo no soporto estar a la vora d'altres persones ni el contacte físic... hagués estat desastrós, abocat al fracàs i amb un gran patiment per a tots dos.

Fa poc vaig intentar fer amistats a webs de cites.. però sóc tant pocatraça i tant poruc que vaig escriure al perfil que volía una amistat anònima, exclusivament online i només a través de la missatgería própia del lloc. Va ser llavors quan al llegir els altres perfils em vaig adonar que jo no hi feia res allà, que era un destorb, ja que les altres persones volien algú amb qui compartir la seva vida i construïr una vida junts...
... però jo sóc bastant decrèpit, estrany, immadur, malalt, no estava a l'alçada i em vaig donar de baixa.

Hi ha una cançó molt bona sobre això mateix (sobretot quan penso en ella):
Radiohead - Creep (Best live performance)

I love Radiohead. The song
" JUST " is fucking amazing.

 

[DeadManLiving]

I'm in the same boat as a man. While I've experienced some form of affection and interest from women, I've never had an LTR or experienced the true love of a woman. I have been told that I'm above average looking and even some of my female cousins told me that I'd be a great loyal catch. The catch is that no matter how much I put myself out there and dates I've gone on, nothing has ever "stuck." After so many years of living painfully single and waking up alone, the cost of continued existence has reached a point of no return and I find it necessary to foreclose my life and will die by Suicide this August at the earliest September of next year at the latest.

After Level 1 and 2 which is food, water, safety and security (money/means, shelter, job, feeling safe and secure, etc.) - intimacy is on Maslow's Hierarchy of needs of Level 3.

It is a primal human instinct to crave and need affection or the need to feel some level of connection with others beyond platonic.

Some people say you don't need others in your lives or don't need love. You can suppress these instincts for a reasonable amount of time however you're just bottling them up and suppressing them inside rather than expressing or experiencing them.

As much as capitalism gets bad rep, it's interesting how we also live in a laissez-faire free market capitalistic dating ecosystem. If you're not something to someone or can't make somebody's lives better for them, that you're not a priority. This is a departure from the "I vs We." Instead of seeking how we can find an imperfect person that can make us ("we") perfectly happy or work to make the unit of a relationship as best as possible for both partners as a team, the prevailing social construct is if I can't get anything out of this relationship or if it won't improve my life, then why should I date somebody that has the potential but not without a cost that I must pay take the chance when there are other opportunities I could capitalize on that could be better for me. Therefore, women prioritize men according to what's better for them (falling in love with what they hear) and this results in the culmination of significant deprivations as much as men prioritize women for their looks (falling in love with what they see).

This results in a hunger games type of constant deprivation and continuous dissatisfaction with our relationships, which is not a bad thing because it may be necessary as a sociobiological process to make it better for our offspring. Would you rather date the construction worker that's barely making ends meet or the doctor in white shining coat armor that you know is going to cheat but at least will at least be able to provide a support structure for your offspring that would have been better off raised with better educational opportunities and they head start in life? On the one hand the capitalistic dating ecosystem is better for our offspring at the cost of our mental health, in ad much as a centrally planned arranged marriage type ecosystem is equally detrimental.

 

[FireFox]

It seems like you want a fairy tale, which rarely happens irl. We are socialized into romanticizing these relationships and pressured into seeking them, especially as girls, but they always bring another set of problems and often result in awful things like domestic violence. Being single and child-free is freedom, but for women it's still nearly a crime since our most valuable role according to the patriarchy is to be a wife and a mother.

@OceanBlue All I have ever known is being single for me it's not freedom but pure loneliness. Its feels like a lifetime and too late for me to find love.

Growing up I had to deal with friends leaving me and excluding once they get boyfriend. Its terrible going through this in my teens and in my 20s at university. I feel so incomplete and a failure to mature into a real woman as relationships symbolise maturity and are milestones to growing up

I know exacly what you mean. I also always had an adventures personality and I fucking hated that I had to do everything always by myself. I know the feeling, the empty feeling that comes with not having someone that you can share your most intimate thoughts and moments. It's terrible to be alone, but it's less terrible if you had someone for a period of time, but not having anyone ever is worst. Not to mention you start to feel ashamed if you don't get a partner when everyone in your circle has one. It gets worst and worst.

If it brights you up, I found my partner when I was 30 and she was 31, and it has been the best 3 years of my life. I don't think it's too late for you.

@Eternal Oblivion Thanks its wonderful coming across who gets it. I am naturally confident and socialable but still all my life men reject me. Its hurts seeing other women getting chosen and being seen as special while no man ever have me such love.

Growing up I had to deal with friends leaving me and excluding once they got a boyfriend. It was so terrible going through this in my teens and in my 20s at university. I feel so incomplete and a failure to mature into a real woman as relationships symbolise maturity and are milestones to growing up.

My own father didn't want me sometimes I now believe maybe I was made to be unloved and rejected by men. I think there is something wrong with me because all my life men gave rejected me maybe I am cursed or I am just freak or have some kind sickness because why I am always getting humiliated.

I completely understand how you are feeling, but at 26 years old you still have planty of time to find a partner.
Don't compare youself to other people, everyone has their own rythem in life.

@SetMeFree11 no its late for me I feel like everyone is taken. My own father didn't want me sometimes I now believe maybe I was made to be unloved and rejected by men. I think there is something wrong with me because all my life men gave rejected me maybe I am cursed or I am just freak or have some kind sickness because why I am always getting humiliated.

I was made to be rejected by men its clear now

 

[Dead Ghost]

@OceanBlue All I have ever known is being single for me it's not freedom but pure loneliness. Its feels like a lifetime and too late for me to find love.

Growing up I had to deal with friends leaving me and excluding once they get boyfriend. Its terrible going through this in my teens and in my 20s at university. I feel so incomplete and a failure to mature into a real woman as relationships symbolise maturity and are milestones to growing up

@Eternal Oblivion Thanks its wonderful coming across who gets it. I am naturally confident and socialable but still all my life men reject me. Its hurts seeing other women getting chosen and being seen as special while no man ever have me such love.

Growing up I had to deal with friends leaving me and excluding once they got a boyfriend. It was so terrible going through this in my teens and in my 20s at university. I feel so incomplete and a failure to mature into a real woman as relationships symbolise maturity and are milestones to growing up.

My own father didn't want me sometimes I now believe maybe I was made to be unloved and rejected by men. I think there is something wrong with me because all my life men gave rejected me maybe I am cursed or I am just freak or have some kind sickness because why I am always getting humiliated.

@SetMeFree11 no its late for me I feel like everyone is taken. My own father didn't want me sometimes I now believe maybe I was made to be unloved and rejected by men. I think there is something wrong with me because all my life men gave rejected me maybe I am cursed or I am just freak or have some kind sickness because why I am always getting humiliated.

I was made to be rejected by men its clear now

Don't throw stones at yourself please, sooner or later you will find someone who loves you just the way you are and you will be surprised that it is so.
//
No et llencis pedres contra tu mateixa si us plau, tard o d'hora trobaràs algú que t'estimi tal i com ets i et sorprendràs que sigui així.