Help For anyone who has attempted before, how did you overcome the survival instinct?

[Lady Laudanum]

The first time I was in my teens and I tried to drink an entire bottle of vodka. I puked once I got about halfway through, and based on how drunk I got I estimate that about half of what I drank was absorbed. The second time was a year after that. I did the same thing but added my prescription medications into the mix. SI kicked in and I ended up going over to my brother's room and saying that I was going to die. I ended up in the hospital and it was traumatizing.

I tried to hang myself a couple years ago because I felt trapped in an abusive relationship. I tied a noose using a ribbon, attached it to the bathroom door handle, got on my knees, stuck my head through the loop, and bent my head forward. My ex came back unexpectedly, sensed that something was happening, then broke the lock on the bathroom door right as I felt like I was losing consciousness. He then took the ribbon off my neck and dragged me out of the bathroom, which fucking hurt because the floor in my bathroom is rough like sandpaper.

I tried to let my eating disorder kill me in early 2023 but then my employer threatened to fire me because I was underperforming, and I knew that I was going to end up with no choice but to move back in with my abusive parents before I even got close to dying. Since then, I have not tried to CTB again because I now have a plan for revenge against my parents.

 

[unabletocope]

I just took a gamble and went unconscious in A and E.

 

[martinso67]

Now this sounds great. I think the key is planning so you don't feel anything is "unfinished". That's probably a big part of the SI subconsciously.

I like your idea, chilling out, having drinks, watching youtube. You made it feel almost like a celebration. I really think that's neat.

Yes, I need to do something I really enjoy just before doing the deed.

I know this might be TMI, but I had a porn/masturbation marathon recently and it lasted roughly 6 hours (yes I took a few breaks lol), but after it ended I remember thinking "wow, I'm so at peace, I could die right now and be fine with it".

Maybe I need to try something like that. Just have a great, kick ass time, then do the deed.

This reminds of watching a video of someone hanging himself, when he was in the middle of a masturbation session.
He did succeed and it was not stressful. There where no fight for survival movements.

 

[steppingoff]

My first attempt failed because the nooose loosened and I found myself on the floor after I had passed out

In literally yelled at it and pushesd myself through. I created momentum to get the noose on and pushing the stool away.

 

[makingaplan]

Stoics and yogis both say that to overcome the fear of death one must think of it constantly in the proper manner. Daily meditation involves withdrawing consciousness from the body–a preview of death. By practising meditation we are inoculating ourselves with a minute dose of daily death and thereby developing some control over the dying process.

In short, practice daily.

How did you find that advice or think of it?