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3/4Dead

3/4Dead

Peace, Love, Empathy
Feb 27, 2024
469
Im just gonna take the leap and do it, man im not even gonna lie to you I just had my last straw LMFAO

My boyfriend spend almost an hour telling me that he doesn't think im trying hard enough to get better, and that I am not getting better fast enough more or less

And that im too sensitive, and indecisive, and antisocial. Same guy whose said I've made a bunch of progress over the year and a half we've been going out but-

Anyway. Yeah man I guess I'm just fucked up beyond repair and even trying my best is not good enough so. I guess for my 21st birthday I'm gonna get a FOID card and a shotgun. And I had a brilliant idea: to make sure nobody knows where it is/so its not in my house ill maybe keep it in a storage unit (are you allowed to keep firearms in storage units in the US?) And then thats also a great venue for catching the bus - most of the time those walls are concrete in the back of the unit so there's no risk for a rouge bullet striking someone (an irrational concern i have lol) and its private enough that nobody will probably find my body before the cops (another concern of mine)

Im sort of worried about getting doxxed somehow so I tried to choose photos where you can't really see the environment but ive also attached pictures of birds ive taken recently. Sometimes the pigeons and I hang out - they're very nice to me
 

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  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: Zura, SoLowHollow48 and Forever Sleep
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
15,126
I wish I had something constructive to say. I'm sorry you are going through this. I love birds too. There was a pigeon sitting in the bird bath for ages the other day. Black birds make me especially happy.
 
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Reactions: 3/4Dead
3/4Dead

3/4Dead

Peace, Love, Empathy
Feb 27, 2024
469
I wish I had something constructive to say. I'm sorry you are going through this. I love birds too. There was a pigeon sitting in the bird bath for ages the other day. Black birds make me especially happy.
Thank you. Black birds are very nice as well, I saw a couple today while I was waiting for the bus on the way to uni.
I also quite like geese - which I get is odd because they're sort of mean lol but I think that they're kind to you if you're pure of heart /j
 
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Reactions: Forever Sleep
SoLowHollow48

SoLowHollow48

Corporate Rat
Nov 24, 2025
94
Hey. I read the entry to this thread and I just gotta say that this hit way too close to home but in a way that I'm your boyfriend and you're my dead ex.

I used to support her a lot and life got bad with me. Her depression started to feel like it was taking her away from me. Her depression was what she chose instead of me. She slept a lot, missed a lot of calls. We ended up fighting a lot.

When I couldn't be her anchor, be patient with her, I fucked her over.

You're not going too slow. You're not doing shit wrong. You're going at a pace that you can right now. You don't gotta end it all just because the only person you love and receive love from thinks that you're "slow". Screw that.

People just run their mouth even when they don't understand what mess you're in. I was one of these people.

I don't know if shutting him off for good is better than having him around for your mental health but if he's pressuring you to get better instead of supporting you to get better, then I think it's time to find better people to see, to love.
 

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