synthcadia

synthcadia

dissociated angel.
Jul 8, 2023
256
it's extremely annoying and mentally taxing having random flashbacks. the bad ones. the mistakes i've made, those who hurt me, those i let take advantage of me. i got a history of SA and i feel sick when i hear about SA. the other day i had to not dissociate the fuck out while watching this documentary with my mom because she'll never get it. i got a weak apology. but she doesn't get it and i am blamed for what has happened to me.

i have been so fucked by SA that i am terrified of heterosexual men. it has changed my preference in men.

thank god i am traveling abroad with a gay guy. puts me at ease because he won't try to hurt me.

god i need some sleep. and i want my gf to answer me, i fucking hate timezones.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: š–£“ nadia š–£“, Walilamdzii and 90starve
90starve

90starve

i donā€™t know who i am
May 8, 2023
578
i really feel for you, and can sympathise. i no longer look at heterosexual men the same way either. i have lost trust in people due to SA - they hide in plain sight, so you just never know who could be waiting to make their move.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: synthcadia and Walilamdzii
MrDarkness

MrDarkness

Left sasu, to improve my life
Jun 18, 2023
1,066
I can't relate to the sa part, but I hate having flash backs of memories I rather forget, I can hear and smell them, I hate it. I hate reliving the awful moments in life, the awful things I said, the things I ruin
 
  • Like
Reactions: synthcadia and Walilamdzii
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,877
To me it's so horrible how humans create so much harm in this dreadful world, I think that humans are the worst species. But anyway best wishes.
 
  • Like
Reactions: synthcadia and Walilamdzii
synthcadia

synthcadia

dissociated angel.
Jul 8, 2023
256
i really feel for you, and can sympathise. i no longer look at heterosexual men the same way either. i have lost trust in people due to SA - they hide in plain sight, so you just never know who could be waiting to make their move.
yeah. it's hard to be around my family. i used to be angry at my brother, but now i'm trying to be the "bigger" person ig. i don't get close to guys and i always interpret their kindness as flirting or something.
I can't relate to the sa part, but I hate having flash backs of memories I rather forget, I can hear and smell them, I hate it. I hate reliving the awful moments in life, the awful things I said, the things I ruin
yeah, i also hate that too. june was kinda shit for me so i kept thinking about all of the shit that happened in june and reliving that anger i felt.
To me it's so horrible how humans create so much harm in this dreadful world, I think that humans are the worst species. But anyway best wishes.
humans are complex. they are beautiful yet destructive. they build great things and destroy the environment. they receive my love and hate. my opinion of them changes a lot. but maybe that is because i am human too (or an alien who hasn't awoken yet).

and thank you. i wish you the best wishes too. <3
 
  • Love
Reactions: 90starve