First time contacting suicide hotline

[ladidabi]

Just want to share my experience.
No way would I call, because I would have no time to think before answering and calling makes me anxious. For that reason I chose to use the chat function. I know there are many out there, but I used the first one I got up on Google. The person on the site seemed kind, but it was difficult to get started at first, like I had to start the conversation. I explained my current issues as a result of previous bad experiences in life. I didn't go into detail about the experiences themselves, but more so explained how it has affected me, what I have done and how I feel. During the conversation I felt quite angry. Not at the person, but becuse they made me realize how I have done absolutely whatever I could to get help. Each time they suggested something or wanted my input on something, I would keep replying that it did not work or it's not accessible. I knew I was fucked when they themselves mentioned my physical and psychological symptoms were bad after I explained what happens and how it has affected my day to day life. It resulted me thanking for them trying, apologizing for being rude at times, and hoping I don't escalate it just yet. I explained multiple times of wanting to CTB and some methods, but that did not seem to get me anywhere. I was hoping they could get someone to drag me out the house, but it felt like I was told to figure it out myself. I feel like I need a break from my life. At this point even isolation sounds better, or maybe I'm just desperate.

All in all, nothing changed besides a fellow stranger having to read through a mess of spelling mistakes due to instense shaking and stress typing. I want to try another hotline again soon. I just want to try. I really do.

 

[Sulyya]

It's good to try things like that I think. Short of connecting with somebody who directly harms you further, it at least gives you information about how different recovery routes look and how to approach them.

 

[guayabas]

Just want to share my experience.
No way would I call, because I would have no time to think before answering and calling makes me anxious. For that reason I chose to use the chat function. I know there are many out there, but I used the first one I got up on Google. The person on the site seemed kind, but it was difficult to get started at first, like I had to start the conversation. I explained my current issues as a result of previous bad experiences in life. I didn't go into detail about the experiences themselves, but more so explained how it has affected me, what I have done and how I feel. During the conversation I felt quite angry. Not at the person, but becuse they made me realize how I have done absolutely whatever I could to get help. Each time they suggested something or wanted my input on something, I would keep replying that it did not work or it's not accessible. I knew I was fucked when they themselves mentioned my physical and psychological symptoms were bad after I explained what happens and how it has affected my day to day life. It resulted me thanking for them trying, apologizing for being rude at times, and hoping I don't escalate it just yet. I explained multiple times of wanting to CTB and some methods, but that did not seem to get me anywhere. I was hoping they could get someone to drag me out the house, but it felt like I was told to figure it out myself. I feel like I need a break from my life. At this point even isolation sounds better, or maybe I'm just desperate.

All in all, nothing changed besides a fellow stranger having to read through a mess of spelling mistakes due to instense shaking and stress typing. I want to try another hotline again soon. I just want to try. I really do.

that was my experience too. I ended up feeling lonelier and more hopeless than I did before I called.

those ppl are not even trained in my experience. I had a job working at a shelter, and our phone line also doubled as a suicide hotline. They never trained us at all. We had a huge binder, and we were just suppose to like flip through it and find the correct script based on what they said. Like a telemarketer. I had one person call while I was there alone, I couldn't make sense of the binder at all so I just tried my best to empathize and said there were a lot of ppl who felt the same and he might be able to find social support online. idk if it helped but I just tried to give him more support than I got when I'd called in the past

 

[Lonelyhotcake]

I remember the first time I tried to talk with a suicide hotline... they ignored me and I felt even more lonely (and suicidal).

Last year, I felt so fuck*ng depressed that I tried one more time and luckily someone answer me. It was a religious website but it was fine.

It's "BBN chat" if anyone want to try, but I don't know if they speak english.

 

[Live or Let Die]

When I called (I was really desperate and can't work out tone via text all too well) they were really kind, and we more or less ended up talking about life in general but they gave me some good advice about how to go about things. Focusing on winning small battles rather than the whole war so to speak. Waking up is victory in of itself, getting out of bed, yet another. Soon enough I found myself feeling genuinely happy and capable of little day-to-day things I once wasn't.

Wishing you the best,
LoLD