First real experience with partial

[dgn3r8]

Hi! Been reading here a lot but this is my first post.
Just had my first real experience with partial susp. after numerous attempts to figure out the ligature method and would like to share what I learned (this happened ~10min ago).

My ex and I bought a rope together for certain activities, and I still have it. It's a strong rope, roughly 1cm diameter and very rough and sturdy.

It's tied to the bathroom door, and I'm able to test it every time I enter as I live alone, although I will not go into specifics here.

Basically what happened is that I put it around my neck - no hyperventilating needed, put a bit of pressure and stood up because I didn'tthink anything would happen, the rope is not tight at all. All of a sudden I feel my mind racing, playing back very audible music I've been listening to a lot recently, I see a lot of imagery that could've happened or that I've seen recently (unsure).

I don't even know what's happening, but I assumed I was sleeping as it's fairly close to bedtime. I could've CTB right then and there, but I didn't- at least I know it works extremely well when it does.

Stood up like normal, walked it off not thinking too much about it and started shaking on my way back to my bedroom.

This account is new as of today after registering yesterday so it might not show, but that's probably my most realistic method.

Got marks on my neck, hopefully not tomorrow but I'll go shave around the area and hopefully play it off as skin irritation from the blades as normally happens since I very rarely shave.

I also got a very interesting video I haven't seen before on this site that I might post once I get access if I'm ever here long enough.

Feel free to ask anything, this was written by mobile sort of distraught - I'll be available for at least a few days ❤

 

[FuneralCry]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I have never attempted hanging at all as I fear it going wrong and to me it does sound very unpleasant. I'm sorry for whatever has brought you to the point of wanting ctb and I wish you the best in what you decide to do.

 

[dgn3r8]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I have never attempted hanging at all as I fear it going wrong and to me it does sound very unpleasant. I'm sorry for whatever has brought you to the point of wanting ctb and I wish you the best in what you decide to do.

Thank you! It wasn't nearly as unpleasant as I'd think based off these posts. I was in a place where I thought nothing could stop the madness that's been going on for 10 years and has become quite unbearable. Now I feel free, and who knows? Maybe seeing how simple it is first hand is is a wake up call. I don't know!
I know for a fact that some Exit International members say just having N handy was liberating! This seems to be my N.

Went for a shave btw but it wasn't enough. Started rubbing the rope all over my neck basically to burn in a red mark and placed a few rubbing oils etc that I know caused irritation before to hide it at work. That's what I'm most worried about due to how few marks I had before. Will try to dismiss it by saying I used some new shaving products that I won't be using again. It's too hot nowadays for a scarf and wearing it inside wouldn't work, don't really have other plans right now without stores being open, I could've bought some colour correction stuff to paint over it like I've done in the past.

 

[dgn3r8]

I keep trying every day to see if I pass out, it's probably my best bet. First time I passed out and dropped and got a mark.

Normally in my attempts I tend to just get annoyed and sweaty and too uncomfortable to continue so I go for an hour or two to cool down and come back. It's basically all I do between watching shows, eat or sleep after work. Glad I got my vacation soon. If it works then - I'll leave them with an issue the weeks after since I'm the only one scheduled which I don't want. But I'd rather go in my own time rather than keep thinking about everyone else.

Had my second experience just 10 minutes or so ago. This time I didn't drop so luckily no mark (although I padded the rope with a scarf and ordered a padded BDSM style necklace/neck brace and climbing strength carabin hooks to potentially help with marks and letting me do a Modified Major Tom).

All of the memories of the show I was watching prior came flooding in with music and visuals and the rest of the world didn't seem to matter.

I'm not a visual person at all, in fact I tend to not have any visual memory at all. Aphantasia, if you will. My imagination is mostly nothing and the few times I do imagine images is right before bed or while waking up - very rarely.

In a way it's a beautiful way to go. I wouldn't recommend watching anything gruesome or scary before catching the bus though. Bit of insight you don't see every day

I'll keep documenting here after each semi-successful attempt or whenever it seems like I have valuable information.