B
Brokenwithbpd
Mage
- Jun 15, 2020
- 503
I have been on the site watching posts for a few weeks now. I don't even know where to start. I'm about to turn 30 in a few weeks. I tried to ctb a few times by hanging and then another time took a ton of meds and woke up in icu the next day.
This whole year I thought I was getting better. Well I think my suicide is just inevitable at this point. But I'm scared. I got sent to the ER last week and I had to lie on all the questions so I wouldn't get committed. I barely have friends. I was raped as a teen for years by a step brother and then my dad called me a liar (please be nice about that it's still a sensitive subject about my dad). I'm adopted. I just have nothing going for me. I mean, I have a good job. But I'm worthless. Why do I even bother sticking around? I would of been dead a long time ago, but my mom pleads and cries because she is so scared to lose me. I can't do that to her. So now what?
ive been cutting for almost 21 years. I started when i was 9. I don't even know what to say. I'm just so alone. I can't stop crying, and my husband can't even handle my depression sometimes
And on top of that, nobody in my family wants to talk to me except my mom.... my own sister wouldn't let her kids in my wedding for god knows what reason
This whole year I thought I was getting better. Well I think my suicide is just inevitable at this point. But I'm scared. I got sent to the ER last week and I had to lie on all the questions so I wouldn't get committed. I barely have friends. I was raped as a teen for years by a step brother and then my dad called me a liar (please be nice about that it's still a sensitive subject about my dad). I'm adopted. I just have nothing going for me. I mean, I have a good job. But I'm worthless. Why do I even bother sticking around? I would of been dead a long time ago, but my mom pleads and cries because she is so scared to lose me. I can't do that to her. So now what?
ive been cutting for almost 21 years. I started when i was 9. I don't even know what to say. I'm just so alone. I can't stop crying, and my husband can't even handle my depression sometimes
And on top of that, nobody in my family wants to talk to me except my mom.... my own sister wouldn't let her kids in my wedding for god knows what reason