Venting First post

[Dr.Duck]

I don't know how to write so this might look like a rant.

I don't desire to kill myself but I don't want to live. Don't deserve to feel bad, my family is amazing. They support me and gave me a great upbringing, don't have trauma, am athletic, have great group of friends. I'm around great people but I can't tell them how I feel because they would get worried. They check in and pressure me to talk, tell me ways to get better. I've felt this for a long time. Since I was 8 but didn't understand it till I was 14. My family and friends know that I've had these problems; though I haven't shown them that I still am that way all this time. Sometimes I wish I had a real problem, something that can justify my feelings. The way I feel makes me think I'm just trying to get attention or faking it all. So I keep my mouth shut, I know what I do is wrong, hurting myself, isolating, drug, putting myself down, and other things.

There's a bit about me and why I'm here. I wanted to talk without the usual conversation of…you know.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Passive suicidality sucks so much, especially due to how taboo being suicidal is I get it

Welcome to SaSu!

 

[Chemi]

Hey there! Welcome to SaSu!

 

[Dr.Duck]

Passive suicidality sucks so much, especially due to how taboo being suicidal is I get it

Welcome to SaSu!

Thank you, the people here at SaSu all look really genuine and it's what makes talking easy for once

 

[darksouls]

you are welcome

 

[littlecutecorpse]

it's a shame how we've gotta keep our mouths shut from those around us because of how taboo suicide is, as NormallyNeurotic said

sending hugs and welcome to SaSu <3

 

[Dr.Duck]

Hey there! Welcome to SaSu!

Thanks for getting me to smile. You got a nice giggle out of me

it's a shame how we've gotta keep our mouths shut from those around us because of how taboo suicide is, as NormallyNeurotic said

sending hugs and welcome to SaSu <3

your hug is received also I like your title how did you do that stuff on the sides?

 

[littlecutecorpse]

Thanks for getting me to smile. You got a nice giggle out of me

your hug is received also I like your title how did you do that stuff on the sides?

thanks!! i just looked some heart symbols up online to copy n' paste and inserted them into my title. lots of cute stuff out there ^_^

 

[Dejected 55]

I still mask more than I'd like with strangers... because I don't want to burden them, but I also tire of having to pretend... but I've stopped masking around anyone I know. I always want to be honest. I'd rather be disliked for who I am than liked for who I pretend to be.

You never know what will happen when you open up... and often it goes poorly... but I really don't know how else to be but open and let shit happen and just know who to cut out or ignore if they react poorly.