regiment
New Member
- Aug 22, 2023
- 1
Hello, this is my first post and vent on this forum. I am disgusted with my hybristophilia and my deprivation for the shooter that i am obsessed over. This obsession is part of an aspect that fuels my suicidal ideations—knowing that he is dead and that ill never feel the love and intimacy that i crave from him. I feel so lonely. I also feel more disgusted with myself when i think of the victims of his crimes, in addition to being associated by default to 'True Crime Community' and female groupies who glorify killers, as a result of the hybristo label. I sometimes do not care about that though, but i honestly don't even know anymore. Though, i cannot help but to feel so infatuated with him. He is everything that i want in a man. His views, his looks, his voice… He is constantly on my mind everyday; from when i wake up and the minute i go to sleep. It has been continuous months since i have had this infatuation/crush/obsession over him. I have cried and felt pain over this and him.
