Venting first post here

[tamamori]

i feel a little nervous. i've known of this place for a while and even used it for resources but a lot has happened lately that eventually led me to join. i guess i'll talk about how i feel since i don't know what else to talk about.

i honestly just don't know what to do with myself anymore. i've been trying so hard for years to keep myself alive because i don't want to make the people i love sad, but everyday it just feels like it's the end of the line for me. it's frustrating that even now i'm still scared to die. i don't want to be. i just want it to be over, but i can't quite put an end to it. i'm also scared of failing and ruining my life further. two days ago i almost went to the nearest subway station to jump, but i thought about the conductor and felt bad. it sounds like the best way to go though so i don't know. i guess that's it. i'm sorry

 

[unluckysadness]

Welcome here I hope you'll get some relief on this forum. People are very kind and you can talk about your suicidal thoughts freely.

 

[tamamori]

Welcome here I hope you'll get some relief on this forum. People are very kind and you can talk about your suicidal thoughts freely.

thank you for your kind words. i hope being here can change something for me, in any direction

 

[darksouls]

hello and welcome to sasu

 

[suacide]

Hey, welcome to SaSu! I'm sorry to hear you're going through what you are, you're amongst people that can relate and understand now without judgement at least. I really sympathise with and understand what you said, that was a daily thought of mine when I was commuting to school and each time I'd think about the driver, the people around me, the cleaners who'd have to get me off the site and I couldn't bring myself to do that to them either. You're not alone!
And if you ever need to talk but don't want to make a forum post, feel free to message, though honestly people tend to be really nice here like unlucky said :DD

 

[tamamori]

hello and welcome to sasu

thank you so much

Hey, welcome to SaSu! I'm sorry to hear you're going through what you are, you're amongst people that can relate and understand now without judgement at least. I really sympathise with and understand what you said, that was a daily thought of mine when I was commuting to school and each time I'd think about the driver, the people around me, the cleaners who'd have to get me off the site and I couldn't bring myself to do that to them either. You're not alone!
And if you ever need to talk but don't want to make a forum post, feel free to message, though honestly people tend to be really nice here like unlucky said :DD

hi :) thank you for the warm welcome. i always feel insecure sharing my thoughts and feelings out of fear of burdening people, so i'm glad to be in a place where i can talk about it openly without worrying about that.

i've always thought rail seemed like a good way to go for me because it's not only easily accessible but i also think it's almost kind of nice how it usually leaves the body unrecognizable. it's not that i don't want anyone to know it's me, but i just like the idea of not leaving my body behind in one piece. i think i feel ashamed at the thought of someone seeing my face after i die. still, i feel really bad for everyone i'd be involving, like you said, so i backed out everytime.

i appreciate the offer, also. it's always nice to know there are people i can talk to, thank you. i'm looking forward to getting to know the community better as well.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Welcome to SaSu!

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Welcome!!

 

[Chemi]

Welcome to SaSu!
The first rule: You do not talk about SaSu.
The second rule: You DO NOT talk about SaSu.

Just kidding ;P

 

[Dr.Duck]

Welcome!