Mx_Pathetic
Delete
- May 8, 2023
- 117
So this isn't the final "note" but this is kinda what I want to say. However my family and friends already know half of this shit, so I'm thinking I might just leave a sticky note saying "I'm truly sorry" because that's all I can really say.
"Dear all,
If you're reading this, then I'm officially gone. Im sorry for what I'm putting you all through, I truly am sorry. I want you all to know that in no way was this your fault and I promise that there was nothing you could've done to change this outcome. The reasons why I did what I did is because well- 1. I just generally don't want to live in this world anymore, there is to much hate and agony and I'm not strong enough to handle it or what life has got me and 2. I honestly don't remember a day where I wasn't struggling, wether it was from physical bullying, rumours, sexual assault or just suffocating in my own head. From a very young age I've been fighting to live and struggled with suicidal thoughts and attempts. About 7 years ago I promised myself to continue trying to get better, through techniques, therapy, medication, etc, but nothing ever changed permanently and if nothing changed then I was going to take my own life. I am not strong enough to continue fighting for the rest of my life. I fought and tried as hard as I could, not only in hopes that things would generally get better for me but for you guys, for your sake. About 3 years ago my "excuse" for not ending my life, was "I have family and friends" but that all faded and was no longer keeping me from ending it all. So I asked for a dog and got Hope as she WAS my last hope. But within the years of having Hope I figured out that I was tired and done with fighting with everything. I wanted peace and quiet. So I came to the conclusion that I was going to commit suicide in 2024. I made my choice and am happy with my decision. I just hope you guys are proud of how long I fought for. I didn't think I would make it to 21. All I wish for you guys is to stay alive, eat properly, drink water, get enough sleep, look after each other. Do the things I couldn't do for myself.
Love ######"
If you think I should word things differently or completely get rid of certain stuff, please let me know your criticism means more alot in the long run.
"Dear all,
If you're reading this, then I'm officially gone. Im sorry for what I'm putting you all through, I truly am sorry. I want you all to know that in no way was this your fault and I promise that there was nothing you could've done to change this outcome. The reasons why I did what I did is because well- 1. I just generally don't want to live in this world anymore, there is to much hate and agony and I'm not strong enough to handle it or what life has got me and 2. I honestly don't remember a day where I wasn't struggling, wether it was from physical bullying, rumours, sexual assault or just suffocating in my own head. From a very young age I've been fighting to live and struggled with suicidal thoughts and attempts. About 7 years ago I promised myself to continue trying to get better, through techniques, therapy, medication, etc, but nothing ever changed permanently and if nothing changed then I was going to take my own life. I am not strong enough to continue fighting for the rest of my life. I fought and tried as hard as I could, not only in hopes that things would generally get better for me but for you guys, for your sake. About 3 years ago my "excuse" for not ending my life, was "I have family and friends" but that all faded and was no longer keeping me from ending it all. So I asked for a dog and got Hope as she WAS my last hope. But within the years of having Hope I figured out that I was tired and done with fighting with everything. I wanted peace and quiet. So I came to the conclusion that I was going to commit suicide in 2024. I made my choice and am happy with my decision. I just hope you guys are proud of how long I fought for. I didn't think I would make it to 21. All I wish for you guys is to stay alive, eat properly, drink water, get enough sleep, look after each other. Do the things I couldn't do for myself.
Love ######"
If you think I should word things differently or completely get rid of certain stuff, please let me know your criticism means more alot in the long run.
