Venting "Find meaning or die." The meaning is leaving

[mister.mister]

My whole life I always wanted to learn how to draw but I never thought I was good enough so I didn't dig in my heels and really learn. This February I started drawing for a few hours a day for a few months. To me, it was either get good at drawing or die. I'm happy with the progress I've made, and I enjoyed the rush I got every time I noticed improvement, but that rush has disappeared. I've been feeling quite numb, and that the drawing has been more of a distraction than anything else. The problem has been spiraling, and working out hasn't been helping me noticeably either. I'm getting concerned that my suicidal ideation is getting out of hand, and I used to feel bad for how my loved ones would feel if I died, but that's becoming a memory.

 

[angeliccry]

the thing when it comes to hobbies is that there will be periods of times where your desire to participate in them may diffrtor dissapear, you shouldn't force yourself into it or stress yourself over not doing enough. give yourself time and rest until you feel like picking it up again, you'll know when. :)